Inspired by FST6's recent lame jokes such as Your mommas so stupid she ate a bagel. So this is a a thread where everyone can in order give some lame jokes.
I'll start:
Whats with airline food? Its beeing served on an airplane? Your mommas so stupid she siips on a big gulp. Your mother so stupid cause she so fat. Thank you good night,
ok and now -------------------------------------------------------------------- RUDE OFFENSIVE JOKE READ AT OWN RISK (but is awesomely funny)
4 guys are locked in a jail cell, a bestialist, a sadist, a necrophile and a Homosexual. Having been in the cell for quite a while the group began to long for their individual fetishes. The Bestialist says " oh i wish i had a cat, i'd have sex with it right now." The sadist says " i would torture and have sex with it right after you." The necrophile said " i would kill it and then have sex with it."
Then the Homosexual said"MEOW" --------------------------------------------------------------------
CLEAN JOKES TO THE RESCUE
Q.what do you do when your riding a zebra and lions and pigs ect. are chasing you. A.get off the marygoround
It's hard for me to do lame jokes
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Ok i got two
Q. What is blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff
Q. what is pink and fluffy A. Blue fluff feeling sick
one day, a family walks into a talent agent's office. he tells them he's busy but they ask for only a moment of his time. they ask to show him their amazing routine. he tells them they have 5 minutes before they have to leave. so, the father turns to his wife and leans in to give her a kiss, but when she gets close he just punches her right in the fucking face. her nose breaks and blood just starts spewing everywhere. he shoves her to the ground, whips out his cock and just starts fucking her right in the nose. now, it doesn't fit to well so her nose tears open to the point where he's just fucking a hole in her face. she's a very large woman, and during the course of the nose fucking, he must have sent his wife into labor, because a little head started to pry open the lips of her vagina and peek its eyes out into a semi-piss and shit stained pair of underwear. the son sees this as an opportunity. he runs up and yanks the baby right out of his moms vagina and in the process slams his face right into his dads ass, whose pants are long gone at this point. he turns around, shit on his face, some little ass hairs stuck to his nose and charges at his sister and just slams her into the fucking wall. then he takes the umbilical cord and starts choking the fuck out of her. the dad then realizes the baby is laying on the ground where his son dropped it and goes to pick it up, but slips in the puddle of blood and vaginal fluid, falling cock first right on the baby. as he falls, his cock goes straight up its asshole, and it starts balling as its ass starts to leak bloody poop jelly. now, as he's fucking the newborn baby up the ass, his wife comes up behind him and shoves her entire arm right up his asshole and starts fucking him with it. now the son who's getting head from his barely conscious sister pulls a butt plus out of his ass and shoves it into his dads mouth. the dad not paying attention swallows the butt plug whole, and then after realizing what a shitty mistake he made, he starts projectile vomiting on everything. he turns, while vomiting, to face his wife, it hits her right in the face sending her in flips, she too starts vomiting, and she starts spinning so fast shes a blur. then a second baby along with bloody vaginal mist comes flying out of the mom. so now everyone's covered with the moms vag juices and shit and piss and they cant see a thing. the daughter got a nasty piece of shit in her eye and she's stumbling around, she hits her face on the radiator and breaks her jaw. now the dad knows not to pass this up, and he gets her to deep throat him and his son at the same time. the sister sneezes and accidentally bites off both the father and the brother's dicks, and swallows them all in one go. she notices that they both have bloody holes where their dicks once were, and she shoves her pointer fingers right in there and starts feeling around for the bladder. she ends up rupturing their bladders and the piss just starts going everywhere it rockets both the man and his son backwards into the wife, who has just picked up the two newborns. all five them rocket into the agents desk showering him with a fine mist of every single bodily fluid you can imagine. he takes a big wiff of the mist and tastes the piss shit vomit vagina baby fluid in his mouth even though he sucked it in through his nose, he too starts vomiting, and while spewing pizza and what appears to be a hot-dog, he asks them, "What do you call this act?" the man stands up from the pile, piss still spraying out of the hole in him and spits out an ear, 2 fingers and a handful of teeth. he looks triumphantly at the agent and says..."THE ARISTOCRATS!"
one day, a family walks into a talent agent's office. he tells them he's busy but they ask for only a moment of his time. they ask to show him their amazing routine. he tells them they have 5 minutes before they have to leave. so, the father turns to his wife and leans in to give her a kiss, but when she gets close he just punches her right in the ****ing face. her nose breaks and blood just starts spewing everywhere. he shoves her to the ground, whips out his **** and just starts ****ing her right in the nose. now, it doesn't fit to well so her nose tears open to the point where he's just ****ing a hole in her face. she's a very large woman, and during the course of the nose ****ing, he must have sent his wife into labor, because a little head started to pry open the lips of her vagina and peek its eyes out into a semi-piss and **** stained pair of underwear. the son sees this as an opportunity. he runs up and yanks the baby right out of his moms vagina and in the process slams his face right into his dads ***, whose pants are long gone at this point. he turns around, **** on his face, some little *** hairs stuck to his nose and charges at his sister and just slams her into the ****ing wall. then he takes the umbilical cord and starts choking the **** out of her. the dad then realizes the baby is laying on the ground where his son dropped it and goes to pick it up, but slips in the puddle of blood and vaginal fluid, falling **** first right on the baby. as he falls, his **** goes straight up its *******, and it starts balling as its *** starts to leak bloody poop jelly. now, as he's ****ing the newborn baby up the ***, his wife comes up behind him and shoves her entire arm right up his ******* and starts ****ing him with it. now the son who's getting head from his barely conscious sister pulls a butt plus out of his *** and shoves it into his dads mouth. the dad not paying attention swallows the butt plug whole, and then after realizing what a ****ty mistake he made, he starts projectile vomiting on everything. he turns, while vomiting, to face his wife, it hits her right in the face sending her in flips, she too starts vomiting, and she starts spinning so fast shes a blur. then a second baby along with bloody vaginal mist comes flying out of the mom. so now everyone's covered with the moms vag juices and **** and piss and they cant see a thing. the daughter got a nasty piece of **** in her eye and she's stumbling around, she hits her face on the radiator and breaks her jaw. now the dad knows not to pass this up, and he gets her to deep throat him and his son at the same time. the sister sneezes and accidentally bites off both the father and the brother's *****, and swallows them all in one go. she notices that they both have bloody holes where their ***** once were, and she shoves her pointer fingers right in there and starts feeling around for the bladder. she ends up rupturing their bladders and the piss just starts going everywhere it rockets both the man and his son backwards into the wife, who has just picked up the two newborns. all five them rocket into the agents desk showering him with a fine mist of every single bodily fluid you can imagine. he takes a big wiff of the mist and tastes the piss **** vomit vagina baby fluid in his mouth even though he sucked it in through his nose, he too starts vomiting, and while spewing pizza and what appears to be a hot-dog, he asks them, "What do you call this act?" the man stands up from the pile, piss still spraying out of the hole in him and spits out an ear, 2 fingers and a handful of teeth. he looks triumphantly at the agent and says..."THE ARISTOCRATS!"
0.o. What?! That's all really nasty.
Here's a joke: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
