ForumsThe Tavern[necro] How many men would it take to kill an elephant with their bare hands?

144 25385
FireflyIV
offline
FireflyIV
3,224 posts
Nomad

I actually know of an answer to this peculier question. I'd just be interested to hear how many men you would think necessary and why (ie., how they would take it down ).

  • 144 Replies
FireflyIV
offline
FireflyIV
3,224 posts
Nomad

basically let the Elephant chase me to the edge of a cliff then I'd jump off and grab on to the edge before i fall to my death...since te Elephant is fat i'll let him fall and die then ill climb down to the Elaphant and kick it in the eyes take plenty of pictures then go home and post it all on Armor games...the end...


How many men would it take to kill an elephant with their bare hands?

You're not allowed to use gravity. It has to be literally beating the elephant to death with bare hands.
kyocat64
offline
kyocat64
657 posts
Nomad

Did anyone thank Firetail for his expert opinion? Me and my cousin were talkin about how his posts are so short but funny (no offense my son)

spy55
offline
spy55
35 posts
Nomad

i would say...umm it's so hard to kill an elephant with bare hands...dunno but maybe more than 250

FireflyIV
offline
FireflyIV
3,224 posts
Nomad

I've let this go on for long enough. The answer!:

Written by:

(English) General Smythington-Smythe
---
''I presume, naturally, that any men involved in such a titanic struggle would be naked, their bronzed young bodies glistening in the fierce African sun. Many years ago, before I went up to Oxford, I found myself in such a situation with Carruthers, who had been my faithfull f*g (old fashioned English boarding school slang for servant) throughout the trials and tribulations of Big School. Driving through the northern expanses of Kenya in my uncle's handsome Derby Bentley, enjoying the cool, spiced smoke of a Sullivan cigarillo, I was at once shocked to see the road ahead blocked by the huge, terrible silhouette of a bull elephant. Hello, what brave fellow is this? I asked turning to Carruthers, who had turned the same shade of ash as the Bentley's plush grey crocodile seating...''
---

General Smythington Smythe's account goes on for many pages, which I cannot be bothered to type up. To summarise: by his reckoning as a military man, it would take at least 100 naked, oiled men to subdue an elephant: one to distract it with iced buns and peanuts, two to poke it in the eye with long sticks, and the other 97 to bite its tail and hindquarters until it died through loss of blood, confusion and stress.

Obviously not a perfect answer, but it's as good as any.

Riou1231 was the first to guess correctly, so congrats to him.

adios194
offline
adios194
818 posts
Nomad

lol,that quote sound realistic, but he's only found a couple times on the web. He's not that large of a hero is he?

FireflyIV
offline
FireflyIV
3,224 posts
Nomad

lol,that quote sound realistic, but he's only found a couple times on the web. He's not that large of a hero is he?


No he's pretty unkown, although this anecdote is featured in a book I'm reading about colonial Africa.
Goto74
offline
Goto74
473 posts
Nomad

If it has to be bare hands...

Then can't do that poke them in eyes with stick thing.

FireflyIV
offline
FireflyIV
3,224 posts
Nomad

Then can't do that poke them in eyes with stick thing.


If you really want to get technical, then technically it stil counts, because they aren't actually killing the elephant with the sticks. It's the other 97 naked bronzed dudes biting and scratching at the elephant's deriere that do the damage.
Goto74
offline
Goto74
473 posts
Nomad

Well then I could use guns to almost kill or make an elephant completely defenseless then kill it myself.

So the answer is one.

FireflyIV
offline
FireflyIV
3,224 posts
Nomad

Well then I could use guns to almost kill or make an elephant completely defenseless then kill it myself.


The vast majority of the damage would be done by the gun, not bare hands. I've already said the elephant can't be tied up or sedated or anything like that.

Besides, that's the great thing about creating threads. You can manipulate the rules to suit your argument. Whatever you throw at me (metaphorically speaking) I still win. Yay!
Goto74
offline
Goto74
473 posts
Nomad

Well then if sticks can be used and it isn't killing it then how about if the elephant runs off the cliff and lands of a person and the person was the reason it died.

So. 2

SilentQ
offline
SilentQ
601 posts
Nomad

Stalk the same elephant until it's really old/asleep/on the verge of death, then start beating it to death. It may take awhile, but one person can single handedly kill an elephant.

FireflyIV
offline
FireflyIV
3,224 posts
Nomad

Well then if sticks can be used and it isn't killing it then how about if the elephant runs off the cliff and lands of a person and the person was the reason it died.


Gravity would be the primary cause of death. It wouldn't matter what it landed on past a certain height, it would still die.
mordecai1031
offline
mordecai1031
156 posts
Nomad

just one, chuck norris

someone said it but idk, the fact remains.

i think 30,

kingofwar1234
offline
kingofwar1234
603 posts
Peasant

tht my friend is a very stupid question

Showing 121-135 of 144