Post all your jokes over here so we can read them whenever we are waiting for games to load I'll start with some of my favorites:
Customer and Tech Support:
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I canât get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, itâs really stuck.
Tech support: That doesnât sound good, Iâll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadnât inserted it yet, Itâs still on my desk. Sorry.....
Software experts on a plane:
At a software conference, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. âIf you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had made the flight control software how many of you would leave from the plane immediately?â Among the forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his teamâs software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even keep rolling pas the runway, let alone take off. :P
Letter to Mr. Bill Gates:
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears. We face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Michael and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
ROFL!Thats a good one, I am not the joke person too much though, not too funny.But yea that made my day, lol
hehe nice to hear that
Q: What is the similarity between men and rats? A: Both keep searching for new holes.
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period? A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble.
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology? A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.
Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised? A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.
Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?!!!!!!!!!!!! A: The boy friend's hand.
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"? A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front".
Q: Secret of long life A: Morning two eggs, evening two pegs... and night two legs
Surprisingly I loled at all of those, you seem pretty funny!
hehe and that for a blond girl!
Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why ? Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
LOL, ok dude you have to stop I am going to wet my pants!
Yeaaa we've got a new goal!!
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH : H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER : What are you talking about? SARAH : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER : Jo, how do you spell "crocodile?" JOHN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER : No, that's wrong JOHN : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
An ant and an elephant got married, despite the best advice of their friends.
During their first intercourse the elephant suffered a heart attack and died.
"It's so bad.," said the ant, "five minutes of passion, and now I get to spend the rest of my life digging a grave."
Q: What is the similarity between men and rats? A: Both keep searching for new holes.
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period? A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble.
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology? A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.
Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised? A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.
Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?!!!!!!!!!!!! A: The boy friend's hand.
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"? A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front".
Q: Secret of long life A: Morning two eggs, evening two pegs... and night two legs
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those are the funniest jokes I've ever heard! well, read..
These are so cheesy, but i've never heard them before!
Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why ? Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I'm laughing so hard my ribs hurt!!! NO MORE!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHA! Dude you're hilarious!!!
You'll achieve your goal, if I don't go to the bathroom, those jokes are all hilarious!
Don't go, don't go! haha
A wife saw her husband weight himself on the scale trying to pull in the stomach. The weight thought he is trying to reduce his weight on the scale. So she said.
"You know. I don't think that will help you anything"
The husband replies "Of course it helps. It is the only way I can see the number on the scale"
In an anatomy class, a professor teaches his students with the real dead body.
Every students stand around the surgery table. The dead body lie there covering by a big white blanket.
The professor starts teaching " To be a good doctor, there are two important things that everyone of you have to keep in mind. The first one is NEVER FEEL DISGUSTING WITH THE BODY"
The professor then open the blanket and slowly poke his finger deeply to the dead body's anus, spin the finger and suck it right in front of the students.
The professor said to everyone "do it Hurry!"
The students are all feeling very disgusting with the bizarre example but they all decide to do it just to satisfy the professor.
After everyone is done, the professor strongly stare at everyone and said out loud.
"Well, the second important thing for being a good doctor is that "BE OBSERVANT." If you noticed it you would see that I poke my middle finger in the anus but suck my index finger!!"
