Post all your jokes over here so we can read them whenever we are waiting for games to load I'll start with some of my favorites:
Customer and Tech Support:
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I canât get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, itâs really stuck.
Tech support: That doesnât sound good, Iâll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadnât inserted it yet, Itâs still on my desk. Sorry.....
Software experts on a plane:
At a software conference, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. âIf you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had made the flight control software how many of you would leave from the plane immediately?â Among the forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his teamâs software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even keep rolling pas the runway, let alone take off. :P
Letter to Mr. Bill Gates:
Dear Mr Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears. We face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Michael and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
On a day there was a father with 3 daughters who all invited their boyfriends to stay at night.. At night the father thought: well maybe i should check it out.
He goes to daughter one and hears her giggling He goes to daughter two and hears her saying au au Then he goes to daughter 3 and he hears nothing..
The next day he asks daughter one why she was giggling, she said: well such a small thing in such something huge, it tickles!
And why did you say au, father asked daughter 2. Well such a huge thing in something so small, that hurts!
Why didn't i hear anything in your room? Father finally asks. Daughter 3 replies: Well because you taught me not to talk with my mouth full!
Well i've got 2 more, before i go to sleep haha (or else i'll fall down from my chair sleeping)
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really !? Like a newborn baby !?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants".
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
Hilarious, typical of you von =D *hires as a comedian*
How sweet =) Well here's a joke to start the morning with:
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? " Millionaire: " I owe everything to my wife." Interviewer: "She must be some woman. What were you before you married her ? " Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
The new married couple are having their first night in the bedroom. Suddenly, the man asks his wife.
And an other one:
Man to wife on wedding night: "You sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with ?" Wife replied: " Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others !"
hmmmmm... strange. is it me or did my post have boxes and weird looking a's in it? anyways, i'll retype it
it's not just you, it had weird boxes, sometimes that happens, very weird.. Does anybody know why?
Funny joke but i already knew him :$
A husband comfortably laid down on the couch before his wife comes in and ask
"Can you fix the light in the bathroom for me?"
"Do you think I work for General Electric?" The husband replied.
"Can you fix the refrigerator?" The wife asked again.
"Do you think i work for Samsung?" same replied by the husband.
"So, can you just bring the parcel to the post office please?" The wife asked for one last time.
"Let me tell you something. I don't work for FedEx either ok?" The husband cruelly replied.
The husband feel so annoying by his wife and angrily leave the house. When he got home. He surprisingly found that the light and refriegerator were well fixed and the parcel was gone. He asked his wife. "How do you handle all of these?"
The wife said "Well, I was crying in front of the house when you leave. One guy walked pass and ask if there was anything he can help. I told him everything and he offer me that he would do everything for me if I either make love with him or bake him some cookies.
The husband asked. "So, what kind of cookies did you make for him?"
"Cookies? Do you think I work for Oreo?" Replied by his wife.
Nearly every joke is going to be offensive to someone. People need to relax and just let a joke be a joke. Oh by the way my grandfather died in Auschwitz, for those of you who don't know. He got too drunk and fell off the guard tower.
It's my opinion that you shouldn't make jokes of it, you can't say i need to change that..
And about the last one, why do you tell that on a forum? I don't know what to think of it..
