Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → The writings of IcyIndia!

Grrr.....

This line here:

Noël, noël, chantons ici

Noel, noel, chantons ici

Very good poem there! The imagery in it is fantastic!

But I tried to put in the two dots above the e's. So it didn't work.

It's not about Word this time; Ag's coding refuses accents so it's impossible to write accurate French here.
I've been part of the ''Accent liberation group'' for a while now, because I'd like to post my French writings, but up to now they still haven't done anything about that. I sure hope it'll change anytime soon, or perhaps with the release of Ag3.

In any case, implementing this little french bout made me smile. It's original and elegant.

It's not about Word this time; Ag's coding refuses accents so it's impossible to write accurate French here.

That was supposed to be really, not rally, above... oops.

I really need to work on looking at what I'm writing more.

Anyway.

Here's one from the FLP.


As I watch the sunset,
As the light fades from the earth,
So do I.

I become transparent,
In thought and in body,
And I observe everything.

I can see, many miles away,
A child playing on the beach.

I can see, across an ocean,
A worker typing in his office.

I am all knowing.
But I do nothing.
I do not know what it is like
To feel the burn of muscles
After running a mile.
All I know
Is what I watch.
What I see.
__________

I really need to finish editing my story....

Ok, I have the first part completely done. I think.
Anyway, I'll post it here.
____________

There is barely a sound as I sprint through the back roads behind buildings. Gravel crunches under my shoes when they hit the ground. It's night, but there is still enough light for me to see my way easily through the dark. I'd be able to find my way if there was no light, anyway. I know my way through these streets well enough.
I run with the intention of going home, but I'm not very focused on where I'm going. My feet take me in the direction of a different building: the warehouse. It's probably better that I'm here, anyway; going to my house would put my family in danger.
I slow down when I reach my destination. Stepping across the smooth surface of concrete that has been laid down in front of the building, I quietly enter the warehouse. The place is well lit, which is surprising. I'd expected it to be dark, since it's nighttime now. Then I realize that of course it's lit; there's someone here.
The main storeroom has trash everywhere. Kicking aside a can, I search for the lookouts. I know there are some here. I find them quickly. Nic and Troy. They talked to me when I got jumped in, and I don't like them very much.
"Hey, Ashley," Troy says.
My hand automatically forms a fist. I don't like being called by my given name. Ever since I moved to the U.S., it's been used only as an insult. I prefer to go by Ash.
I don't say anything about it though. Instead, I greet them and ask if I could crash there. I've got to be ready for tomorrow.
"Sure," Nic says. "Brothers help each other out."

Hey, CC, anyone?

I'm really missing feedback...
I'm starting to think this thread is a lost cause.

First thing: Is that bit of the story the only bit you have written or is the rest in your thread?

That's the first part I have finished writing and editing.. I'll have more soon.

Okay then here comes a bit of CC.
I feel like I've stepped in the middle of something and that I missed the beginning. I think some explanations will be needed because right now Im confused. If you are intending to explain great, if not consider it.

I just read a lot of your poems, did you consider trying to rhyme things? Or trying out-line more alliteration? Or assonance? Or repetition? Not that I do much of those in my poems... I only rhyme stuff but ye thats my opinion for someone that wrote more poems then me, try doing a rhyme poem once, it may not be the most artistic kind of poem but it sure is fun to make those....

Ok, I'll think about that, DV, thanks.
_______

I was looking in the FLP thread and I found a really good one that I couldn't remember writing, but I did write it.
I actually was able to rhyme well, which is surprising, but the meter was really off...

Here it is.
____________________


Is it real or is it fake?
This floating feeling won't last forever.
This one victory, or am I drowning in a lake?
I think it's time to make one last endeavor,
before the moon explodes.

I'm traveling in a barren land,
and everything is gone.
All the food I brought is canned,
because, as far as I know, there is
no refrigerator.

This illusion of an illusion
is making everything true,
which is bad, because I can't say
I love you.

And here's another one. I do remember writing this one, but it was a long time ago. It's pretty cool.
____________________

My computer broke,
so I am not able to type this poem.
My sincere apologies
are for you,
since I can't write these words.

I wish you could read this poem,
but my computer broke,
so,
you can't read it.

Maybe I'll fix it
in a day or two
And once my computer works again,
I'll dedicate these words to you.

did you ever try making limericks? those are the types i like most.

Have you seen this one? (below) It's the closest to a limerick as I've gotten. And the last one I posted about my computer is pretty funny as well. Personally I despise limericks, so I probably won't want to write one.

Aesop Wolf
('Aesop' is not my invention and I claim no ownership of the name.)

The wolf laughs with unrestrained glee
At the sheep it knows it will slay
The helpless lamb cries out a plea
And the wolf begins to bay
The moon howls back, a lonely tune
The wolf settles into his snack
But if only his stomach
had enough room
He'd be able to finish the task.