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Ernie15
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Ernie15
13,344 posts
Bard

I've noticed the increase in threads being made about problems with relationships and dating. Now, I have no problem with the subject matter. No, my problem is with the amount of threads people are creating about it.

Judging by all these threads being made about the same thing, it's safe to say it's inevitable for these questions to be asked; and since the answers to these relationship/dating questions are generally very similar, putting all the questions in one thread saves time and posting.

No, this is not a thread where you specifically ask me for advice; I don't know very much about this subject. I'm simply the guy who has created the thread so you can post your questions for anybody to answer.

So if you have a question about dating or relationships, or anything along those lines, ask it here, wait for someone to reply here, and don't make a new thread about it!

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xNightwish
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xNightwish
1,608 posts
Nomad

Dair, it's sadly not a case of a specific thing being wrong. It's being in a wrong place mentally, emotionally.


We've talked a bit today, and i've agreed to give her space and time to figure things out. We'll remain friends just like normal, however that tension is there. It's hard just to act like friends this fresh after a break up with the person you were planning on getting engaged to.

What will be will be, i guess.


Maybe you can do something fun this weekend with a friend(s) just to let it go a bit. But I would say that you need to act normal, don't push and be nice.
dair5
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dair5
3,371 posts
Shepherd

I'm really sorry jefferysinsperation, I hope this whole situation won't be too awkward for you. I'd want to help more but I'm not excatly an expert. I hope the situation gets better for you.

VinceNeille
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VinceNeille
139 posts
Shepherd

The break up however is totally one sided, and i guess i don't know how to deal with it.


Well, first things always come first, so I would like to say that I'm deeply, deeply sorry for your relationship turning to your unsatisfactory.

Patience. In this situation, it's probably the most important aspect.

She has explained that she's not in the right place right now and in time things might change.


It seems, based on what you've told us, that she's not emotionally or/and mentally engaged to begin anything too serious. I can't tell you that waiting won't hurt, but I know you. You're a stable, great, and understandable person that cares about other persons before yourself. I'm not sure if it would make anything better to ask what's up, but..yeah.
Roger721
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Roger721
1,100 posts
Nomad

Uhm... I feel sorry for Jefferysinspiration. I hope you and your girlfriend manage to sort things out in a good manner.

The break up however is totally one sided, and i guess i don't know how to deal with it.


Maybe she just need some time, I guess. I ain't no expert, so I can't give you much advice...

Patience. In this situation, it's probably the most important aspect.


Amen to that...
Jefferysinspiration
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Jefferysinspiration
3,139 posts
Farmer

It seems, based on what you've told us, that she's not emotionally or/and mentally engaged to begin anything too serious. I can't tell you that waiting won't hurt, but I know you. You're a stable, great, and understandable person that cares about other persons before yourself. I'm not sure if it would make anything better to ask what's up, but..yeah.


Well, we talked/cried a good bit together last night and we've agreed to just see how things go. In the past i've got defensive and pulled away, trying to let-go early on. But as this was supposed to be house, marriage, kids, i think that would be fairly stupid of me.

So it's all a waiting and patience game indeed.

Thank you all, lovely people
pickpocket
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pickpocket
5,952 posts
Shepherd

Yeah that's probably ur best bet. Try to uh stay as friends so when she gets better u still have a shot. Sorry about that dude, wish u luck

pratchu
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pratchu
493 posts
Nomad

Errm guys?I really dont know how to act around girls and I'm in grade 8. I just get this real awkward feeling when girls look at me. Any tips on how to deal with this happening?

VinceNeille
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VinceNeille
139 posts
Shepherd

Errm guys?I really dont know how to act around girls and I'm in grade 8. I just get this real awkward feeling when girls look at me. Any tips on how to deal with this happening?


You came to the right place, my good man.
Yes, I've had this problem before and I know how you feel.

First things first, build some confidence up. Some to a majority of girls aren't into the scared type of person who gets all sweaty and doesn't make enough eye-contact. They look for someone who could hold a long conversation; might I add, with out long awkward silences.

I have a question to proceed : What else - if anything - goes on when you speak to girls..?
RainbowGoGangster3
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RainbowGoGangster3
529 posts
Nomad

Errm guys?I really dont know how to act around girls and I'm in grade 8. I just get this real awkward feeling when girls look at me. Any tips on how to deal with this happening?

as a girl in 8 grade I would like to say, most of us will not judge u the way your are, so just be yourself, us girls like guys who are themselves and dont care what others think of them. it kinda shoes that ur a little more mature then others..

but dont be afraid to talk to girls we dont bite
pratchu
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pratchu
493 posts
Nomad

as a girl in 8 grade I would like to say, most of us will not judge u the way your are, so just be yourself, us girls like guys who are themselves and dont care what others think of them. it kinda shoes that ur a little more mature then others..


Hmm thanks for that but I was kinda raised away from girls for most of my life in boys sides of schools.Plus, I already have an inferiority complex i guess and yeah, i really dont know what to say or how to act

but dont be afraid to talk to girls we dont bite


for all i know at my school some girls dont bite but rather try to command us guys sometimes.
pratchu
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pratchu
493 posts
Nomad

I have a question to proceed : What else - if anything - goes on when you speak to girls..?


well, it goes a little something like this:
(me talking to a girl in my class)

Me:Can you please move your table a bit back?
Girl:OH sorry!*moves table*
Me:Thanks.

Thats what happened around a week ago.Normally I dont talk to girls unless Im in a group in class with girls in it. Its because ive gained an introversy to people i dont know too well, and plus I play xbox alot and read naruto soo yeah, most of the time i dont talk to girls.

But usually, if i can sense a girl is even looking at me, I sometimes get huuge tremors.Most of the time, i just get an awkward suspicion.
xNightwish
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xNightwish
1,608 posts
Nomad

Like someone said before.
Build up some confidence, try to know/do things so you have something to talk about, and it may help (just a guess) try to talk to girls who you know a bit like the girls from your group.
And Btw you are talking to a girl here.....

ClockworkAmelia
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ClockworkAmelia
54 posts
Farmer

Let me preface this by announcing my female gender.

The best advice I think anyone can give is to be yourself. Being yourself and being comfortable and confident in your own skin will do you wonders. However, I also know how difficult that can be, especially at your age. What people are doing when they overcome these issues is essentially overcoming a phobia. It's scary. But the thing is, once you're at the other side of the struggle, you see how silly it was for you to be scared in the first place.

The only way you'll be able to overcome your fears in speaking to girls is to learn about them and demystify the whole situation, and the only way to do that is to talk to us. And it's probably going to take some trial and error and some freak outs, but you've gotta keep going. It's going to be way better to tackle these issues now than to wait until college or the real world. Try to keep in mind we're just people. Just start by talking to girls like you would a guy. We're all capable of sharing interests across genders, so find a girl you have things in common with. And try not to worry about anything turning romantic right now, just start by making friends. Chances are, if you actually let a few get to know you, one of them will be interested--even if you're still awkward and twitchy. :P

DarkEclipse99
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DarkEclipse99
7 posts
Nomad

Oh my gosh how old are you people,talking about personal life issues and girly problems haha it's so amusing yet sooo deja vu haha...

ClockworkAmelia
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ClockworkAmelia
54 posts
Farmer

I'm sorry, DarkEclipse, but some people just can't outgrow those pesky urges to attempt relationships with other human beings. I guess we all can't be as mature as you.

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