Forums → The Tavern → General Relationship Thread
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I've noticed the increase in threads being made about problems with relationships and dating. Now, I have no problem with the subject matter. No, my problem is with the amount of threads people are creating about it.
Judging by all these threads being made about the same thing, it's safe to say it's inevitable for these questions to be asked; and since the answers to these relationship/dating questions are generally very similar, putting all the questions in one thread saves time and posting.
No, this is not a thread where you specifically ask me for advice; I don't know very much about this subject. I'm simply the guy who has created the thread so you can post your questions for anybody to answer.
So if you have a question about dating or relationships, or anything along those lines, ask it here, wait for someone to reply here, and don't make a new thread about it!
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I've been dating the love of my life for almost five months now!
You are one of the lucky ones, I tell you! As ordinary as the movies make it sound, your situation is something to be very grateful for!
I feel bad for the people who end up with the wrong person for them. It usually doesn't end well!
Okay, so there's this girl I like (I think I posted a while ago) and I asked her out almost two weeks ago. She said yes, but then said she wanted to get to know me better first. She has had people ask her out before (or at least try to) and she said no to them, but we don;t really talk a whole lot in person (I'm not sure if it's because she doesn't like me or if she's too shy to hold conversation). Anyway, I asked her if she wanted to go to an ice cream place in a small group this friday and she said that she and her sister were doing stuff before her sister went to prom.
Anyway, neither of us went out with anyone before (although she went to Homecoming with one of my running friends and there was this one girl who kind of followed me around on a field trip in 8th grade saying we were going out...but i dont think that counts) and I'm wondering if that has something to do with it. Also, it is probably good to know that she has A LOT of extracurricular activities and stuff.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated (although, please don't comment unless you actually have some experience...no "well, I don't talk to girls a lot, but here's what I would try"!
"Well, i don't talk to girls a lot, but here's what i would try.."
No i joke.
I'm a lesbian, so i give the best girl advice to boys, yay me !
Wanting to get to know you better isn't her blowing you off. It's usually a line tossed out when the girl does in fact want to get to know you better. Most commonly used if she's unsure of how much she likes you - this isn't a bad thing. It just means she wants to be positive that you guys can chill alone. You said you don't talk much face to face, which is probably what is making her question the connection. [As i said, not all negative]
Extracurricular activities are a good way to hang i guess, but you want to get her on her own. None of this small group stuff. It sucks that she's busy, but that stuff happens. The problem with being in a small group is still not you guys showing the ability to be together, just the two of yous. It's a good idea in essence, but perhaps take her out for ice cream just you guys, get chatting, get to know each other and everything. If it goes well, see if she wants to do the group thing. If that happens, ask her out by herself again and BOOM, you got her.
I always find [younger] males want to move faster than [younger] females. My theory would be the mentality age, blahblahblah. You see, guys tend to be more spur of the moment and go with the flow, whereas when it comes to liking people, *MOST* [Not all] girls are very over-analytical. So don't take it offensively, or negative, just take it literally.
She wants to get to know you. Well done and good luck ;o
*MOST* [Not all] girls are very over-analytical.
Do girls tend to focus on flaws as a way to weed out the "less-competent" candidates? Because that would explain why girls never liked me much throughout my entire school career! Then again, I had some pretty obvious flaws, but nonetheless they would never talk to me under any circumstances!
yah im with dao gao
You read the first page just to post that you agreed with someone who got banned, probably for spamming, about a prediction on how this thread is apparently useless while completely ignoring the fact that it has nearly 1,000 posts in it and people utilize it for advice fairly regularly.
What possible reason did you have to post in this thread? I know the answer, you did it for the AP.
Do girls tend to focus on flaws as a way to weed out the "less-competent" candidates? Because that would explain why girls never liked me much throughout my entire school career!
I gave up on the female gender after high school. If they didn't want to get to know me or even give me a chance, it was their own fault for being judgmental. If they ignore you, that's their loss. They aren't worth your time. When the right girl comes into your life, you'll know.
Then again, I had some pretty obvious flaws, but nonetheless they would never talk to me under any circumstances!
Were they physical flaws or character flaws? If they were character flaws, that's understandable. That just means she believes that she and you aren't compatible. If they were physical flaws that kept you from a female, that means she's shallow and therefore not at all worth your time.
I'm probably not the best person to listen to for advice on the opposite gender. Especially if you want or have hope for the future.
Were they physical flaws or character flaws?
Physical flaws! Due to them not talking to me at all, I didn't have a chance to show off my character flaws! xD
Don't worry though, I haven't given up yet! I think I still have about 50 years left in me, so I have plenty of time to continue searching for Miss Right!
You should not give up either! You have plenty of time too, and it's never too late! Be strong! She's out there somewhere, don't you worry! Neither of you have realized it yet, but trust me, it will happen if you give it enough time!
Due to them not talking to me at all, I didn't have a chance to show off my character flaws!
Like I said before, if she judges you on any your physical flaws, she is shallow and cares about what's on the outside more than what's on the inside. Therefore, it's best to just ignore her and wait until you meet someone who likes you for you and not what you look like.
She's out there somewhere, don't you worry! Neither of you have realized it yet, but trust me, it will happen if you give it enough time!
I haven't given up on that aspect of it, I've only given up on making the first move on a female. But that's just a personal preference, not something I advise anyone else to do.
I haven't given up on that aspect of it, I've only given up on making the first move on a female.
I agree, I've always hated that guys are expected to make the first move! But if you know in your heart that she's right for you, that first move is definitely worth it!
Do girls tend to focus on flaws as a way to weed out the "less-competent" candidates? Because that would explain why girls never liked me much throughout my entire school career! Then again, I had some pretty obvious flaws, but nonetheless they would never talk to me under any circumstances!
It's not a girl thing. It's an individual thing. I don't focus on flaws to weed out "Less-competent" candidates. I focus on positives, reasons why i would want to be with someone. It's human nature to pick up on flaws aswell though. I mean if i go out to coffee with a girl, who has a lot of pluses, and all she does is talk about herself. I'm not going to ask her on a second date. That said, be yourself. Nothing worse than falling for someone who has based their personality on what they think you'll like, then it turns out to be a big flop.
If they ignore you, that's their loss. They aren't worth your time. When the right girl comes into your life, you'll know.
What if they have confidence issues? I wouldn't be able to just walk up to a girl and ask her out, unless i had a grand amount of alcohol in my system. It takes time *on both parts* to get to know eachother. Shyness can often come across as someone ignoring you.
It takes time *on both parts* to get to know eachother. Shyness can often come across as someone ignoring you.
Both parties must get to know each other first, that's a given. If a female just walked up to me and asked me out on a date, I'd get suspicious. I'd probably say yes anyway due to my low self-esteem but I would definitely think something weird was going on.
No, what I was saying was that if she judges you right away and completely ignores you and doesn't even bother to try to get to know you, whether she likes you or not, you aren't worth overcoming her shyness for and therefore she isn't worth your time either. If she truly believes you are right for her, she will attempt to overcome her shy nature and make some effort to try and get to know you rather than just pretend you don't exist.
If she is shy and in the process of overcoming her shyness, you can usually tell by the way she behaves in your presence. Facial expressions are important too, so if you suspect a girl does in fact like you and is just not ready to try and get to know you, keep an eye on her facial expressions when you're around her. If she looks bored or somehow untouched by your presence, move on.
These are all just observations I've picked up over my many years of observing females. They do need proofing to make sure that they are accurate and not just total misconceptions about the female gender.
Ah, very true.
Yes, to the guy asking advice: If she ignores you/ blatantly makes no effort - Then i wouldn't pursue it. But i stick by previous advice.
I asked a cute girl to prom 2 weeks ago. Unfortunately she remembered yesterday that someone asked her earlier and called it off.
That is unfortunate! But also a bit strange, considering that she's choosing the person she forgot about entirely over the person she had been thinking about going with for the past 2 weeks! It sounds to me like she's going with him out of obligation rather than because she likes him, and considering how long it took her to remember that she had already been asked by someone else, I think you still have a pretty good chance with this girl!
I think you still have a pretty good chance with this girl!
I think so too. The fact that I got a 'yes' with an apologetic repeal is far greater than a blunt 'no' from the start.
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