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chuck norris can slam a revolving door

if you have $5 and chuck norris has $5 chuck norris has more money then you

if superman and sonic had a race to the edge of the universe chuck norris would win

chuck norris will never have a heart attack. his heart would never be stupid enugh to attack him

*note* these are indeed facts

Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice

Chuck Norris never fails, not even at failing, he just does.

Chuck Norris is 71 years old.

Chuck Norris never fails, not even at failing, he just does.

Im going to do mine in picture form.

You mean doesn't?

When Chuck Norris battles, he doesn't really battle, he just allows you to lose.

Chuck Norris once slit his wrists and the knife died.

if there was a zombie apocolypse zombies would run from him

The next movie "Friday, the 13th" was cancelled. Jason Vorhees met Chuck Norris on Thursday, the 12th.

Chuck Norris was the 4th wiseman to visit baby Jesus in the manger. He gave Jesus the gift of beard. The other 3 wise men were so jelous, they used their combined influence to keep his name out of the bible. They died of round-house kick related deaths shortly there after.

Most boys can write their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can write his name in cement.

Chuck Norris once took a CPR class. Now he can kill you, revive you and kill you again.

As a child, Chuck Norris had a pet lizard. That lizard grew up and became what we know as Godzilla.

In America, Chuck Norris finds you. In Soviet Russia, he still does. He's Chuck Norris.

chuck norris killed osama

Some of the ones I was going to post were taken, so I'll just put this one:

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

santa is real santa=chuck norris cause only chuck norris can travel the world in 5 hours