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jabello11
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jabello11
721 posts
Nomad

Hello there. I do not want to say the ages of these kids or the names... So please bear with me as I tell you what has been happening in my school/life.

In my school I now know that a bunch of girls cut themselves because they feel sad. These where some of the responses I got back from asking them why did they do it.

well... the pain on the inside is to bad so i cut my slef to make me feel better


I know that others do it so that way i do it too.


well my boyfriend makes me sad so that is why I do it.


i do it because i am addicted to it


When they responded with those replies I felt a little sick to my stomach and my mind was hurting. I said that cutting themselves is no awenser to any problem. They then said that it was because it took the emotional pain away by hurting themselves. I said that is just pain x2...

So community, can you please give me any advice on how to help people stop or how to explain to them that it is not the best way to cope with pain. Also my mind hurts when i think that it makes them feel better so do you have any suggestions to help that too? Any help is good for me. And also. Please be serious.
  • 63 Replies
JohnGarell
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JohnGarell
1,747 posts
Peasant

If they don't say they need help, don't give them that. They will release that it hurts much later and then try to stop.

Did someone notice that 50 % of the posts on page 1 [except the OP] is made by Mods?

Cenere
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Cenere
13,657 posts
Jester

They will release that it hurts much later and then try to stop.

It is quite addicting and gives them a feeling of being safe.
Just because it hurts doesn't mean they will try to stop, considering it is like smoking or eating fast food in some ways. It makes the person feel better.

And apparently mods have stuff to say on this topic.
dair5
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dair5
3,371 posts
Shepherd

It is quite addicting and gives them a feeling of being safe.
Just because it hurts doesn't mean they will try to stop, considering it is like smoking or eating fast food in some ways. It makes the person feel better.


It's true and pretty ironic. And now I understand what you meant by a rush. I think it's mostly because things like the rush and physical pain take away from emotional pain. I guess the emotional pain becomes so unbearable that they rely on cutting themselves because it's a different pain that they can bear.
Joe96
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Joe96
2,226 posts
Nomad

It makes me sad when I see people that are like that. I want to help them, but there's not much I can really do.

EmperorPalpatine
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EmperorPalpatine
9,439 posts
Jester

When I was feeling down, I never resorted to cutting. I pushed myself in other ways like exercising to exhaustion. It's a different kind of pain, but it has more positive results.

JohnGarell
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JohnGarell
1,747 posts
Peasant

release


I meant realize. ^_^

It is quite addicting and gives them a feeling of being safe.


How do you know that?

Just because it hurts doesn't mean they will try to stop, considering it is like smoking or eating fast food in some ways. It makes the person feel better.


So they enjoy the pain?!

I think it's mostly because things like the rush and physical pain take away from emotional pain. I guess the emotional pain becomes so unbearable that they rely on cutting themselves because it's a different pain that they can bear.


But how does the emotional pain stop because of that?
EmperorPalpatine
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EmperorPalpatine
9,439 posts
Jester

So they enjoy the pain?!

Not always; for some it's an addiction: they feel like they need physical pain.

But how does the emotional pain stop because of that?

It dosen't stop the emotional pain, but it creates a strong distraction.
GentlemanClam
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GentlemanClam
523 posts
Nomad

Sometimes it could be peer pressure. Like if some girl is dating a guy who cuts himself, the boyfriend would try to get her to start cutting herself. But that rarely happens, usually it's just depression.

Cenere
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Cenere
13,657 posts
Jester

How do you know that?

Any guesses..?

So they enjoy the pain?!

Not always; for some it's an addiction: they feel like they need physical pain.

More so, pain is like a side effect of the safety, the rush and the other &quotositive" consequences of cutting. It's like gaining weight from eating too much fast food, or coughing from smoking.
If you are in it for the rush, then the pain is a side effect.
If you are in it for the physical manifestation of your emotional pain (or for the physical punishment), pain might be the main factor, but it will still be effects that will make you carry on.

It dosen't stop the emotional pain, but it creates a strong distraction.

Rather, it is like a mental illness versus a physical illness. Physical pain is easier to deal with, because you can see the wound and think "This hurts", while emotional pain is something you can't even see or consider real in most aspects. It's just there for whatever reason, possibly for no reason at all, and it hurts as hell.

Sometimes it could be peer pressure.

Never heard of this, but then again, I haven't actually met people who cut themselves for attention. I assume this would be the key reason to getting others into cutting, as the usual reasons wouldn't be something you shared anyway, hence the cutting in the first place.
xNightwish
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xNightwish
1,608 posts
Nomad

Why is it kids (put a line under kids).
It can be adults to. But I think it is a cry for attention or an addiction.

AceofSky
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AceofSky
767 posts
Blacksmith

Im still wondering...I once cut myself when I was kid accidently and it hurt so bad! But why do people do it? Is it fun for them? It's like "hmmm I feel sad, let's just cut myself!" But...still why would you?

Avorne
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Avorne
3,085 posts
Nomad

I don't think anyone cuts themselves for fun, save for those with a really deep-seated pain fetish or something, Cenere already did a good job of exploring the feelings/effects that cutting has on a lot of people who do it so I think you can draw reasons for cutting from that.

divy1324
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divy1324
433 posts
Nomad

They should like see a shrink or something like that...

-divy1324

pauler94
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pauler94
2,513 posts
Nomad

I'm a pretty depressed person lately since there have been many things bothering me. However I never resorted to cutting myself, although I have strongly considered it. I figured the physical pain would cancel out the mental pain that I usually have to deal with, which I, personally, think is the main reason to why kids cut themselves. But, I would not want to damage my skin and take the risk of having people notice, which would get anyone into serious trouble. But at the same time, someone who cuts his/herself would also take the risk of sinking deeper into a depression due to the physical pain they're inflicting on themselves.

Cenere
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Cenere
13,657 posts
Jester

Why is it kids

Due to the issue the original poster had.

But...still why would you?

As Avorne said, I have been explaining it quite a bit (probably repeating myself too), but here goes again:
Most often, people that do cut themselves are so depressed and feeling so much mental pain for various reasons, that they can't cope with it in any other way. They need to make the pain physical in some way, and the most commonly talked about would be cutting.
It still hurts to cut yourself, just as it does to everyone else, but the following effects and feelings of safety and a pain being easier to handle (as well as the rush of chemicals the body responds to pain with) can often be enough for a person to continue this habit.
The pain is a rather specific response if the person is looking for some kind of punishment, however, but the safety of that pain is still there as well. Knowing that you got what you deserved, for example.

They should like see a shrink or something like that...

They should, but usually the issues behind cutting are unresolved, even to the individual. You can't get help from anyone, if you don't want to talk about it, and putting something as abstract as mental pain into words is something many people fail.
In the case that the individuals are depressed, they also lack the motivation to actually make a change themselves, and they would need someone else to take charge and probably drag them along, which rarely if ever happens.

However I never resorted to cutting myself, although I have strongly considered it.

Probably a good thing you didn't.

But at the same time, someone who cuts his/herself would also take the risk of sinking deeper into a depression due to the physical pain they're inflicting on themselves.

That would probably not happen, since the cutting is what keeps them afloat in the first place.
Then again, a deeper depression would probably lead to them losing the motivation to actually cut themselves anyway, and the parents would probably notice and be able to help at that point, unless they are truly blind towards their children.
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