Forums → The Tavern → Lame Jokes/puns

Long distance runners suffer the agony of defeat.

The reading of a will is a dead giveaway.

A girl going camping must beware of evil intent.

A man walks into a bar.. Ouch.

Lame.

What did one Cricket say to the other Cricket?

Nothing, Crickets don't talk.

Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

Right where you left it.

What ahppened to the man who was electricuted while wearing a bulletproof vest?
He died.

You're momma is so dumb, she took an IQ test and scored pretty low on it.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. The first says to the second, 'Does this taste funny to you?'.

Person 1: *Insert Insult*
Person 2: Ha, almost forgot to laugh!

I HATE people like that...

A dog, a cat, a chicken, and a hamster walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

lame

What did one Cricket say to the other Cricket?

Nothing, Crickets don't talk.

"You might be a Redneck if you come from a rural area and behave as such."
--Family Guy's pathetic attempt at mocking Jeff Foxworthy

Nothing, lions can't talk; and even if they could, the chances of one encountering an octopus at any point in its life are incredibly slim.

Athieism is a non-prophet organization.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho- Cheese

Knock Knock
It's the police, I hate to inform you, but your wife has been in a terrible accident.

The Buddha approaches a hot dog stand, and says to the hot dog vendor, "Make me one with everything."

A priest and the Dalai Lama were making toast. The priest pulls out his piece and says, "The face of Christ is burned into my toast! I can't believe it!" The Dalai Lama replies, "I can't believe it's not Buddha!"

two muffins were in the oven one muffin says to the other muffin "Hey its gettin hot in here or what?" the other muffin responds "HOLY SHYT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"

Person 1: My dog doesn't have a nose
Person 2: How does he smell?
Person 1: Terrible!

Nazi Soldier: Hitler! The allies have invaded Normandy!
Hitler: ...I did nazi that one coming.

two muffins were in the oven one muffin says to the other muffin "Hey its gettin hot in here or what?" the other muffin responds "HOLY SHYT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"