OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.
Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]
I'll start: 1. Instant Seafood. If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.
2. Crowd Control. When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them. With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >
3. Practical Joke/Revenge. If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows: 1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better. 2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. > 3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >
are you hurted or ill? do you need to visit a hospital or a dentist or just a doctor but you cant because of the pain or you are too ill? then buy a can of the brand new Dr. OctoCan! he will get out with two nurse octos to heal you. never going to a doctor again because you have one at home! disclaimer: one use only. if you use too many Dr. OctoCans at once you will propably die.
do you needed ever to show that you are not yet dead, even if death himself says so? then open a can of OctoCan it will turn into a certificate that proves that you are still alive! disclaimer: will not work if you are allready dead but if you are nearly dead.
Clan OctoCan now has its own Headquarters account! Members, be sure to check it out, and non-members, remember that you can join the OctoCan Clan and get clan points for posting OctoCan uses here!
Ever get those days of bad hair and boring styles? Well what you need is OctoCan! Simply open the can on top of your head for a hot new slimy hairstyle, or leave the octopus on for an all out OctaHairdo. You will be guaranteed the best OctoCan hair ever!
Open a can of OctoCan on top of your homework you don't wanna do, and OctoCan will slime it until it's soggy as can be. Now the homework is unusable, and you can play Skyrim all day long!
Keep losing your balls(Not that area mind you)? Think normal balls are plain boring? Then use Octocan! Curl the Octopus up and you're ready for fun! Although it's slimy, it would still function as a ball.
Have you sat for hours in your boat for hours with not a single bite, or just won't get off your butt to buy a fish? Well Octocan is the solution for you. Open a can and see it break almost every fishing law in existence just to catch you fish. Disclaimer: The Octocan will likely have simply devoured all the fish and you will likely be sent to prison for life or simply execution for releasing such a creature to cause all aquatic species to be extinct.
I thought of ingenious idea no one has used yet, but as this number is insignificant and I'm double posting.
127: Evolution
Someone probably used the above use and are wondering why Octocan-brand octopi are not extinct since octopi is an aquatic species. Wrong! Octocan-brand octopi are more than any aquatic species they are...not robots, but they breed so fast their genetic structure changes in a few seconds if even two Octocan-brand octopi are near each other.
Are you bored? Are you insane? Are you a megalomaniac? No fear, Octocan is here! Draw a pentagram on your octo, wear him like a cape, and you will have an unholy power of controlling the universe.
Disclaimer: Do not place near holy water once pentagram is drawn, Octo will get angry and steal the souls of everyone within 15ft in order to become strong enough to corrupt the holy water!
