Forums → The Tavern → Funny jokes!!

What do u give a bartender if he hungry(thirsty)?Answer:a drink

Have any of you heard the wall of china joke?

It's too long anyway, I won't tell it to you.

Best way to kill a knock knock joke:
"Knock Knock!"
"Come in!"
...

Did you hear the one about the bed? Of course not, it hasn't been made yet!
^bad joke

Did you hear about the giant with diarrhea? You didn't!?! It's all over town!
^gross joke

now you know my joking limits.

~~light_chaser~~

What's worse than forgetting to plug in your phone over night?
The holocaust

What did the farmer say once he lost his tractor?
"where's my tractor?"

What did the straight guy say to the gay guy?
"your gay"

Three men are on a plane, a Mexican, an American and an Asian. The pilot says they are going to crash and they need to drop off unnecessary weight. Te Asian throws his rice out and says, "we have too many of these in my country." te Mexican throws his tacos out and says "we have too many of these in my country. The American throws the Mexican out and says, " we have too many of these in my country."

What do ducks and grass have in common?
The both say "quack", exept the grass.

A Chinese guy goes to apply for a job and the guy interviewing him, just to make sure he understands english, asks him use to use the words green, pink, and yellow in a sentence.

The Chinese guy says: The phone goes greengreen, I pink it up, and say "yellow".

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Well this one is sorta mean but it is still a joke:

What do Dan Weldon and Pink Floyd have in common?

There last hit was the wall.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

No, I haven't heard that version, MrDayCee. Have you seen that hobo in Walmart's parking lot that hides from creeps? (think carefully about your answer)

what does a gay horse say heeeeeeeey

what does a gay horse say when he is hungry haaaaaaaaay

Heres one...

There are 2 blondes on an island along with one brunette.

The 1st blonde finds a magic lamp and shows it to the others.
The genie says "I will grant you each a wish"

The 1st blonde says, "I wish that i have a boat. She takes it out on the water and has no gas.

The second blonde says, "I wish that i have a boat and gas." She takes it on the water, runs to the bathroom, and starts to sink.

The brunette takes the bridge.

Why did the man have plastic surgery on his bum?
Because it had a crack in it. Tee hee

[quote]Why did the man have plastic surgery on his bum?
Because it had a crack in it. Tee hee

"happy birthday"
"u knew its my birthday!"
"NO!Facebook told me"

What did the king send on Facebook?
I am (not) married!!!!