Forums → The Tavern → Chuck Norris Jokes

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

I know of no, chuck norris "jokes" i know some norris facts? Do you want those?

When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the pool gets Chuck Norris

The boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris everynight.

When Chuck Norris had a movie shoot in France, the French surrendered when his plane touched down...just to be safe.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris doesn't use a razor, he roundhouse kicks his chin to shave because the only thing that can cut chuck norris, is chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can kill two birds with one stone

There is no theory of evolution, there is just a list of creatures that chuck norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity.......twice.

Come on now captainDJ straight off of the website? HERE

Atleast look around and find some original ones...i suggest you look, At Strop's Post

this is a good one

Theres no such thing as ternados chuck norris just dosnt like trailer parks

And

Chuck norris cant get a heart atack becaus his heart isnt foolish enough to atack him

Funny thing, type find chuck norris in the google toolbar and click on I'm feeling lucky.

A friend told me and probably a friend of a friend told him and etc.

I really don't get you're jokes guys lol

wow the jokes are facts, this got me into them lol

Chuck Norris doesnât wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000


Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Here's one I found awhile ago.

When on location for the filming of "Walker Texas Ranger" Chuck brought a new baby lamb. When the day was over, Chuck roundhouse kicked the lamb to remind the crew; Chuck giveth, and the good chuck taketh.

What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

(I'm your man for chuck jokes)

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in the periodic table, the only element Chuck Norris knows is suprise.

Chuck Norris doesn't get paper cuts, paper gets Chuck Norris cuts.

Chuck Norris walked into a bar, no one survived.

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

Chuck Norris doesn't like evolution, nothing created him. He created nothing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA
(Chuck Norris doesn't blend in reality, reality blends in Chuck Norris)


Chuck Norris and Total Gym didn't like each other because no matter how strong you are, you aren't like Chuck Norris.

"non-original ones'
There is no 'ctrl' Button on Chuck Norris's computer, Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potatoe chip

Chuck Norris's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush

Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite, Frost gets Chuck Norris bites

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's not lifting himself, he's pushing earth away.

Chuck Norris is suing NBC for using the trademarked names for his left and right hand, "Law & Order"

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what the time is.

Some people like Frog Legs, Chuck Norris likes Snake Legs.

Chuck Norris's house has no doors, just walls he's walked through.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.


Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Bravo Jason. You picked almost all of the best made Chuck Norris jokes on that post. Should add the boogey man one, the revolting door, Texas Ranger, and Mongolia.

heres one rate it on 1 to 10
chuck norris isnt afraid of the dark the darks afraid of him.

Everytime you put your hand in your pocket chuck norris roundhouse kicks a little fat kid in the face.

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