Forums → WEPR → Gay Parents and Their Children
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This topic was spurred from the Gay Marriage topic.
Introduction
Gay couples all over the world adopt or have children of their own. This topic is going to initiate debate on some of the presented issues with gay parenting and the implications it might or might not have on the children. Please leave all the comments out like: "It's wrong because God say so."
The issues I am going to list below are a mix of irrational and rational concerns. Please remember that.
Issues
1. The children of gay parents will end up being gay.
2. The children will experience heavy turmoil in school.
3. Lesbians do not have enough "maternal" instincts to be a mother.
4. Gay couples do not have all the "right" tools to be parents.
Please discuss some of these issues (though some are so stupid it is funny).
Info I will contribute
Below is some info I have snagged from a few reputable sites.
Beliefs that lesbian and gay adults are not fit parents likewise have no empirical foundation (Anderssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perrin, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995). Lesbian and heterosexual women have not been found to differ markedly either in their overall mental health or in their approaches to child rearing (Bos et al., 2004; Kweskin & Cook, 1982; Lyons, 1983; Miller, Jacobsen, & Bigner, 1981; Mucklow & Phelan, 1979; Pagelow, 1980; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2001; Rand, Graham, & Rawlings, 1982; Siegenthaler & Bigner, 2000; Thompson, McCandless, & Strickland, 1971). Similarly, lesbians' romantic and sexual relationships with other women have not been found to detract from their ability to care for their children (Bos et al., 2004; Chan et al., 1998b; Pagelow, 1980). Lesbian couples who are parenting together have most often been found to divide household and family labor relatively evenly and to report satisfaction with their couple relationships (Bos et al., 2004; Brewaeys et al., 1997; Chan, et al., 1998a; Ciano-Boyce & Shelley-Sireci, 2002; Hand, 1991; Johnson & O'Connor, 2002; Koepke, Hare, & Moran, 1992; Osterweil, 1991; Patterson, 1995a; Sullivan, 1996; Tasker & Golombok, 1998; Vanfraussen, Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, & Brewaeys, 2003). Research on gay fathers likewise suggests that they are likely to divide the work involved in child care relatively evenly and that they are happy with their couple relationships (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002; McPherson, 1993).
The results of some studies suggest that lesbian mothers' and gay fathers' parenting skills may be superior to those of matched heterosexual couples. For instance, Flaks, Fischer, Masterpasqua, and Joseph (1995) reported that lesbian couples' parenting awareness skills were stronger than those of heterosexual couples. This was attributed to greater parenting awareness among lesbian nonbiological mothers than among heterosexual fathers. In one study, Brewaeys and her colleagues (1997) likewise reported more favorable patterns of parent-child interaction among lesbian as compared to heterosexual parents, but in another, they found greater similarities (Vanfraussen, Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, & Brewaeys, 2003). A recent study of 256 lesbian and gay parent families found that, in contrast to patterns characterizing the majority of American parents, very few lesbian and gay parents reported any use of physical punishment (such as spanking) as a disciplinary technique; instead, they were likely to report use of positive techniques such as reasoning (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002). Certainly, research has found no reasons to believe lesbian mothers or gay fathers to be unfit parents (Armesto, 2002; Barret & Robinson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jacobsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Weston, 1991). On the contrary, results of research suggest that lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive home environments for children.
The bulk of evidence to date indicates that children raised by gay and lesbian parents are no more likely to become homosexual than children raised by heterosexuals. As one researcher put it, "If heterosexual parenting is insufficient to ensure that children will also be heterosexual, then there is no reason to conclude that children of homosexuals also will be gay".
Studies asking the children of gay fathers to express their sexual orientation showed the majority of children to be heterosexual, with the proportion of gay offspring similar to that of a random sample of the population. An assessment of more than 300 children born to gay or lesbian parents in 12 different samples shows no evidence of "significant disturbances of any kind in the development of sexual identity among these individuals."
Courts have expressed concern that children raised by gay and lesbian parents may have difficulties with their personal and psychological development, self-esteem, and social and peer relationships. Because of this concern, researchers have focused on children's development in gay and lesbian families.
The studies conclude that children of gay or lesbian parents are no different than their counterparts raised by heterosexual parents. In "Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents," a 1992 article in Child Development, Charlotte Patterson states, "Despite dire predictions about children based on well-known theories of psychosocial development, and despite the accumulation of a substantial body of research investigating these issues, not a single study has found children of gay or lesbian parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of heterosexual parents."
Psychiatrist Laurintine Fromm, of the Institute of Pennsylvania Hospital, agrees with that finding. "[The] literature...does not indicate that these children fare any worse [than those of heterosexual parents] in any area of psychological development or sexual identity formation. A parent's capacity to be respectful and supportive of the child's autonomy and to maintain her own intimate attachments, far outweighs the influence of the parent's sexual orientation alone."
- 101 Replies
' Estel i think its equal. And bout the kids at skl why should kids with gay parents have to be home schooled. That would make them feel more different than if they were being teased at skl in my opinion
as they don't try to have sex.
From what you've said, don't you mean "don't try to have sex for the purpose of procreation?" :P
Because surely then there's no problem...unless one brings up the issue of surrogacy, sperm donation, IVF...etc. etc. which tends to fall into an unconsidered area of traditional Catholic beliefs.
Thats a good point about how the gays get the kids. Lots of people object to giving them children instead of giving the kids to straight couples.
@Strop, I wouldn't say it's unconsidered, the Catholic Church believes that any way of artificial insemination, or any other artificial way to have a child is wrong.
It's a bit off topic, but (I forgot which one) when one of these is used, they take multiple embryos and make multiple babies that all grow in the mother until it is certain that one if them has a much better chance of survival than the others, and then the remaining fetuses are then killed and taken out. No better than abortion and totally wrong by the Catholic Church's viewpoint.
Courts have expressed concern that children raised by gay and lesbian parents may have difficulties with their personal and psychological development, self-esteem, and social and peer relationships.
I think that it is true because it is talking about how children raised by gay or lesbian parents are being made fun of at school.
i a agree with Wittman, there so much homophobia in the world, its hard on the gays to be able to live happy lives
Well, I dont have any facts and figures but -
Two of my school teachers were a lesbian couple and they adopted siblings that had been abandonned by their mother.
On a school trip I met the little boy (he was 4) and he started one of those awkward conversations you just dont want to have by anouncing "Did you know I used to have a different mummy?"
and I was like "did you?" (what on earth are you meant to say to that?)
And he said "She went away"
and I said "That very sad"
and he said "It's ok. I've got two mummies now"
Maybe a gay couple doesnt fit some peoples idea of 'arents' but if you ask me it doesnt matter whether a child is raised by two men, two women, a man and a woman or one woman or one man as long as they are loved, looked after and raised properly.
Problem is Manik, what kind of line are we drawing here? That there's an element of intervention here at all? Because by all other measures the rationales don't actually add up- I could just as easily argue that every sperm that doesn't form a child was murdered (somebody else here raised that point), and as you know that's in the order of several hundred million for every copulation that results in a pregnancy that is carried to full term.
I'm just making a distinction here between the premise and the 'reasoning' behind such premises- it also brings to mind the question of how one defines 'intervention'. Midwivery and obstetrics are interventions, are they not?
Maybe a gay couple doesnt fit some peoples idea of 'arents' but if you ask me it doesnt matter whether a child is raised by two men, two women, a man and a woman or one woman or one man as long as they are loved, looked after and raised properly.
This is exactly my view on it. I don't understand why some people think that it is better for a child to be in an abusive and loveless household. Yet, if there is an opportunity for a healthy and loving homosexual family, this is somehow worse?
I think that being with a homosexual family is better then living in the streets or with an abusive family.
That's the way I feel as well. This doesn't mean just homosexual couples. I feel that way about it all. I hate how the system will give the child to the mother more of the time than the father. They will ignore the situation and the projected love. What if the mother is psycho and abusive, but the father is loving, but just not as financially set? They will give it to the mother. It makes me sad.
Another thing, at one time they were taking children away from gay couples in Texas. That made me so mad for both the parents and the children. There are so many kids that need to adopted.
I would agree with Ash but why would they be taking away kids from their family if the kid had a gay/lesbian mom and dad. That just doesn't make sense.
The children of gay parents will end up being gay: Yes it is most likely that a child that has been raised by a gay parent(s) will become gay. I mean children learn from their parents, and also inharet from them too.
The children will experience heavy turmoil in school.
It is also true that the children of gay parent(s) will be criticized in school because they are different. And most of it is because a book says that it's wrong and you will go to hell. And thats because most of the worlds religion is Christian. I'm being raised as a Christian, but I don't really believe in A god. I mean the only evidence is a book. Nothing scientific, I could write a book, and make up a big story and say "follow me, or you will burn for forever!"
Lesbians do not have enough "maternal" instincts to be a mother.
I think that they do. They are female and females by nature are maternal. And just because they're gay doesn't mean they are an unfit parent... I don't care if the law says that they are... PROVE IT! And the gay parents had to raise the child... I mean it didn't die.. so they do have enough maternal instincts.
Gay couples do not have all the "right" tools to be parents.
All that matters is that the parents truly love their child(s). I don't think just because they have different morals about their sexual orientation that they are unfit.
So thats what I think about all these very contraversal topics.
I'm not gay, but I will stand up for people who get treated differently, for no reason. People don't have the right to hate a certain kind of race, or people. Just because you like other females/males doesn't mean your a bad person, and you have right too!
Hope this helped someone here
~Snowman1474
Lesbians and gays face so much pressure to become straight. Do you really think they would force their children to be gay after facing all that discrimination? And being gay is a neurological and biological function. It has little to do with which parents raised them.
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