ForumsWEPRGay Parents and Their Children

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Asherlee
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Asherlee
5,001 posts
Shepherd

This topic was spurred from the Gay Marriage topic.

Introduction
Gay couples all over the world adopt or have children of their own. This topic is going to initiate debate on some of the presented issues with gay parenting and the implications it might or might not have on the children. Please leave all the comments out like: "It's wrong because God say so."

The issues I am going to list below are a mix of irrational and rational concerns. Please remember that.

Issues

1. The children of gay parents will end up being gay.
2. The children will experience heavy turmoil in school.
3. Lesbians do not have enough "maternal" instincts to be a mother.
4. Gay couples do not have all the "right" tools to be parents.

Please discuss some of these issues (though some are so stupid it is funny).

Info I will contribute

Below is some info I have snagged from a few reputable sites.

Beliefs that lesbian and gay adults are not fit parents likewise have no empirical foundation (Anderssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perrin, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995). Lesbian and heterosexual women have not been found to differ markedly either in their overall mental health or in their approaches to child rearing (Bos et al., 2004; Kweskin & Cook, 1982; Lyons, 1983; Miller, Jacobsen, & Bigner, 1981; Mucklow & Phelan, 1979; Pagelow, 1980; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2001; Rand, Graham, & Rawlings, 1982; Siegenthaler & Bigner, 2000; Thompson, McCandless, & Strickland, 1971). Similarly, lesbians' romantic and sexual relationships with other women have not been found to detract from their ability to care for their children (Bos et al., 2004; Chan et al., 1998b; Pagelow, 1980). Lesbian couples who are parenting together have most often been found to divide household and family labor relatively evenly and to report satisfaction with their couple relationships (Bos et al., 2004; Brewaeys et al., 1997; Chan, et al., 1998a; Ciano-Boyce & Shelley-Sireci, 2002; Hand, 1991; Johnson & O'Connor, 2002; Koepke, Hare, & Moran, 1992; Osterweil, 1991; Patterson, 1995a; Sullivan, 1996; Tasker & Golombok, 1998; Vanfraussen, Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, & Brewaeys, 2003). Research on gay fathers likewise suggests that they are likely to divide the work involved in child care relatively evenly and that they are happy with their couple relationships (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002; McPherson, 1993).

The results of some studies suggest that lesbian mothers' and gay fathers' parenting skills may be superior to those of matched heterosexual couples. For instance, Flaks, Fischer, Masterpasqua, and Joseph (1995) reported that lesbian couples' parenting awareness skills were stronger than those of heterosexual couples. This was attributed to greater parenting awareness among lesbian nonbiological mothers than among heterosexual fathers. In one study, Brewaeys and her colleagues (1997) likewise reported more favorable patterns of parent-child interaction among lesbian as compared to heterosexual parents, but in another, they found greater similarities (Vanfraussen, Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, & Brewaeys, 2003). A recent study of 256 lesbian and gay parent families found that, in contrast to patterns characterizing the majority of American parents, very few lesbian and gay parents reported any use of physical punishment (such as spanking) as a disciplinary technique; instead, they were likely to report use of positive techniques such as reasoning (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002). Certainly, research has found no reasons to believe lesbian mothers or gay fathers to be unfit parents (Armesto, 2002; Barret & Robinson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jacobsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Weston, 1991). On the contrary, results of research suggest that lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive home environments for children.

The bulk of evidence to date indicates that children raised by gay and lesbian parents are no more likely to become homosexual than children raised by heterosexuals. As one researcher put it, "If heterosexual parenting is insufficient to ensure that children will also be heterosexual, then there is no reason to conclude that children of homosexuals also will be gay".

Studies asking the children of gay fathers to express their sexual orientation showed the majority of children to be heterosexual, with the proportion of gay offspring similar to that of a random sample of the population. An assessment of more than 300 children born to gay or lesbian parents in 12 different samples shows no evidence of "significant disturbances of any kind in the development of sexual identity among these individuals."

Courts have expressed concern that children raised by gay and lesbian parents may have difficulties with their personal and psychological development, self-esteem, and social and peer relationships. Because of this concern, researchers have focused on children's development in gay and lesbian families.

The studies conclude that children of gay or lesbian parents are no different than their counterparts raised by heterosexual parents. In "Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents," a 1992 article in Child Development, Charlotte Patterson states, "Despite dire predictions about children based on well-known theories of psychosocial development, and despite the accumulation of a substantial body of research investigating these issues, not a single study has found children of gay or lesbian parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of heterosexual parents."

Psychiatrist Laurintine Fromm, of the Institute of Pennsylvania Hospital, agrees with that finding. "[The] literature...does not indicate that these children fare any worse [than those of heterosexual parents] in any area of psychological development or sexual identity formation. A parent's capacity to be respectful and supportive of the child's autonomy and to maintain her own intimate attachments, far outweighs the influence of the parent's sexual orientation alone."

  • 101 Replies
Moegreche
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Moegreche
3,827 posts
Duke

Hmm, maybe I should hire a midget then. But usually they only sell one-legged midgets at the store...

Wittman
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Wittman
318 posts
Nomad

Ash, Moe, we should get back on topic. I think that the kids would have a hard time in school because they would get bullied. So you get a kid when the child would have no friends and get bullied at school.

Asherlee
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Asherlee
5,001 posts
Shepherd

It really is a tragedy how you can't get quality midgets anymore. I hear that adding a wooden peg takes away from their conciseness, though. Double-edged sword, I believe.

Moegreche
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Moegreche
3,827 posts
Duke

Gaaah, it's always something isn't it? But yes, back on topic.
Now, the bullying thing is an interesting objection. I would hold that kids get bullied about random things, even "normal" kids so this objection cannot be laid against gay couples alone.
But if a child gets bullied for who their parents are, that certainly isn't a reason for gay couples to not be allowed to have kids! If anything we should stop brainwashing our children with what a "boy" should be like or what a "girl" should be like. Girls have to like pink and play dress-up and play with dolls that pee themselves while boys have to build things and play with pretend power tools and army guys. From a very young age children are infused with a set of beliefs and morals that simply aren't natural. You should play with toys that you enjoy and wear clothes you like; it's a very recent development that society has any sort of influence on these decisions.

Wittman
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Wittman
318 posts
Nomad

That is a good way to understand it. I like the way you think Moe. Good job.

J4son
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J4son
405 posts
Nomad

Same, interesting article Moe. But lately they've made games (not to lately) called smear the queer and what not. Manlihood is taken to an extremity that is hard to match with all corners and homosexuality is far from it so it's almost like they're the dorks from the 50's when they're generally all just nice people.

Asherlee
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Asherlee
5,001 posts
Shepherd

I honestly don't think that kids teasing each other is going to be the hardest part. I feel that the straight (probably conservative) parents of the other children are what would cause the biggest problem. Here is a scenario:

Let's say I have a child with my girlfriend and he is in the 6th grade. He wants to have Josh, a kid from class, over for the weekend to spend the night. Josh's mom may not allow Josh to come over because she and I are gay and she may have those fundamental assumptions that our son is gay as well. So, she isn't going to let Josh come over.

Giantsfan6450
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Giantsfan6450
44 posts
Nomad

good point but desveres to be bloked

P.s mom=lesbian

Strop
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Strop
10,816 posts
Bard

lol, this reminds me of the time when I was like 3 or something...and I freaked everybody out by playing with this girl's Barbie set...it had a really awesome car (yes, it was pink, I'll give you that), but it was a freakin' car that rolled around and had realistic detailing and...how could I not pick it up!!!

To this day I have difficulty relating to proper gender roles. In a way I'm simply lucky that my body is ostensibly male and arguably so too are the majority of my interests.

DivineDarkness
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DivineDarkness
1,226 posts
Nomad

The only time I played with barbies is when I played barbies-X-treme! (Burn them with magnify glass and flush them down the toilet, but have a string so it doesnt go all the way ahhaha.)

Strop
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Strop
10,816 posts
Bard

There was also "Barbie decapitapult" and "make fun of Ken's lack of anatomy" and "Barbie crash test" and "Barbie's bedroom vi-" oh, I probably shouldn't mention the last one xD

thepossum
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thepossum
3,035 posts
Nomad

i think gayness is just wrong and i personally feel very sorry for them because i wonder what they think about i mean its not like they can talk to their parents lol (=

Xcalibur45
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Xcalibur45
1,830 posts
Farmer

America is just getting worse! First the Government lets gays marry, then lets them adopt kidz! Then they raise another generation of Gays.

dragoncrusher
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dragoncrusher
773 posts
Peasant

The children are the real victims. I couldnt imagine growing up with gay parents. Then the children dont know what a real realationship is like.

necromancer
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necromancer
750 posts
Peasant

i think gayness is just wrong and i personally feel very sorry for them because i wonder what they think about i mean its not like they can talk to their parents lol (=

Why is homosexuality wrong? You need evidence, BTW the Bible thinks you should be stoned to death for such petty things as wearing clothing with two types of fabric, it doesn't count. Why wouldn't they be able to talk to their parents? They should be perfectly loving and understanding.

America is just getting worse! First the Government lets gays marry, then lets them adopt kidz! Then they raise another generation of Gays.


Toleration is not a bad thing.

The children are the real victims. I couldnt imagine growing up with gay parents. Then the children dont know what a real realationship is like.


Homosexual parents have just as much love, if not more than straight parents, I'm pretty sure the divorce rate is lower for gay couples. Also remember that in families with homosexual parents, Junior was not an accident, he was planned.
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