Forums → WEPR → Gay Parents and Their Children
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This topic was spurred from the Gay Marriage topic.
Introduction
Gay couples all over the world adopt or have children of their own. This topic is going to initiate debate on some of the presented issues with gay parenting and the implications it might or might not have on the children. Please leave all the comments out like: "It's wrong because God say so."
The issues I am going to list below are a mix of irrational and rational concerns. Please remember that.
Issues
1. The children of gay parents will end up being gay.
2. The children will experience heavy turmoil in school.
3. Lesbians do not have enough "maternal" instincts to be a mother.
4. Gay couples do not have all the "right" tools to be parents.
Please discuss some of these issues (though some are so stupid it is funny).
Info I will contribute
Below is some info I have snagged from a few reputable sites.
Beliefs that lesbian and gay adults are not fit parents likewise have no empirical foundation (Anderssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perrin, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995). Lesbian and heterosexual women have not been found to differ markedly either in their overall mental health or in their approaches to child rearing (Bos et al., 2004; Kweskin & Cook, 1982; Lyons, 1983; Miller, Jacobsen, & Bigner, 1981; Mucklow & Phelan, 1979; Pagelow, 1980; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2001; Rand, Graham, & Rawlings, 1982; Siegenthaler & Bigner, 2000; Thompson, McCandless, & Strickland, 1971). Similarly, lesbians' romantic and sexual relationships with other women have not been found to detract from their ability to care for their children (Bos et al., 2004; Chan et al., 1998b; Pagelow, 1980). Lesbian couples who are parenting together have most often been found to divide household and family labor relatively evenly and to report satisfaction with their couple relationships (Bos et al., 2004; Brewaeys et al., 1997; Chan, et al., 1998a; Ciano-Boyce & Shelley-Sireci, 2002; Hand, 1991; Johnson & O'Connor, 2002; Koepke, Hare, & Moran, 1992; Osterweil, 1991; Patterson, 1995a; Sullivan, 1996; Tasker & Golombok, 1998; Vanfraussen, Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, & Brewaeys, 2003). Research on gay fathers likewise suggests that they are likely to divide the work involved in child care relatively evenly and that they are happy with their couple relationships (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002; McPherson, 1993).
The results of some studies suggest that lesbian mothers' and gay fathers' parenting skills may be superior to those of matched heterosexual couples. For instance, Flaks, Fischer, Masterpasqua, and Joseph (1995) reported that lesbian couples' parenting awareness skills were stronger than those of heterosexual couples. This was attributed to greater parenting awareness among lesbian nonbiological mothers than among heterosexual fathers. In one study, Brewaeys and her colleagues (1997) likewise reported more favorable patterns of parent-child interaction among lesbian as compared to heterosexual parents, but in another, they found greater similarities (Vanfraussen, Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, & Brewaeys, 2003). A recent study of 256 lesbian and gay parent families found that, in contrast to patterns characterizing the majority of American parents, very few lesbian and gay parents reported any use of physical punishment (such as spanking) as a disciplinary technique; instead, they were likely to report use of positive techniques such as reasoning (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002). Certainly, research has found no reasons to believe lesbian mothers or gay fathers to be unfit parents (Armesto, 2002; Barret & Robinson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jacobsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Weston, 1991). On the contrary, results of research suggest that lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive home environments for children.
The bulk of evidence to date indicates that children raised by gay and lesbian parents are no more likely to become homosexual than children raised by heterosexuals. As one researcher put it, "If heterosexual parenting is insufficient to ensure that children will also be heterosexual, then there is no reason to conclude that children of homosexuals also will be gay".
Studies asking the children of gay fathers to express their sexual orientation showed the majority of children to be heterosexual, with the proportion of gay offspring similar to that of a random sample of the population. An assessment of more than 300 children born to gay or lesbian parents in 12 different samples shows no evidence of "significant disturbances of any kind in the development of sexual identity among these individuals."
Courts have expressed concern that children raised by gay and lesbian parents may have difficulties with their personal and psychological development, self-esteem, and social and peer relationships. Because of this concern, researchers have focused on children's development in gay and lesbian families.
The studies conclude that children of gay or lesbian parents are no different than their counterparts raised by heterosexual parents. In "Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents," a 1992 article in Child Development, Charlotte Patterson states, "Despite dire predictions about children based on well-known theories of psychosocial development, and despite the accumulation of a substantial body of research investigating these issues, not a single study has found children of gay or lesbian parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of heterosexual parents."
Psychiatrist Laurintine Fromm, of the Institute of Pennsylvania Hospital, agrees with that finding. "[The] literature...does not indicate that these children fare any worse [than those of heterosexual parents] in any area of psychological development or sexual identity formation. A parent's capacity to be respectful and supportive of the child's autonomy and to maintain her own intimate attachments, far outweighs the influence of the parent's sexual orientation alone."
- 101 Replies
Gay parents are fine and so are their children. Yes, they have to adopt children but that doesn't mean that they are any different from modern society. Yes people may think that they are weird but that doesn't mean they gay parents have to stop adopting. It is all just okay and if you don''t like it then you are just mean.
And gay parents are just like any other parent. They can make their children go to school and have a good education. And by the time it is all done, that child could make a huge difference in life. And for the people that made fun of the gay parents and their child, THEY will have the chance to laugh at others that laughed and the gays because now their child can make a huge difference in life.
Pegasus, that is true. But, not all gay parents have to adopt. In fact, a lot of lesbian couples will have children themselves.
What upsets me is that ignorant people see it as wrong to raise a child with two mothers or two fathers. How is this worse than raising a child as a single parent?
Let me back up a little. I know for a fact that many children came out great and had a fantastic home life with a single parent. So, why wouldn't it be just as acceptable with gay parents?
I am actually a christian and don't see a problem with gay marrage,lol I'm not actually sure of god just meant no gays,or if he meant something within being gay. Anyways gay parents should not be excluded from society because they choose to marry with the same sex and neither should there children.
Just because parents are gay that doesn't fully effect the children,his friends or just his surroundings can also effect if he's gay or not. The children will probably get a bit of laughs and stuff but thats just society these days. These days parents get divorces all the time,leaving the kid with single parents and you can say its the same thing as being gay,only one sex in the relationship. So I guess the bottom line is,if gays arn't fit to raise there kid,then single parents arn't. Like I said before there is clearly nothing wrong with gays having children
Pegasus, that is true. But, not all gay parents have to adopt. In fact, a lot of lesbian couples will have children themselves.
Adding onto this, there are straight couples who have to adopt. Should we alienate them too because they can't have their own kids?
How is this worse than raising a child as a single parent
There is nothing wrong with it. Yes, some people might think of it as
"weird" but in reality, it is normal. It just means to you will have two people of the same sex raising a child.
Really, this can be said the same for both sides. There may be gay people who like sports while others like soap operas. I am just saying that you can't immediately think the same gender will have the same interests. It would be like saying a gothic person and a preppy person have the same interests even if they were the same gender.
Yes, but something has to be said about WHICH two people. A heterosexual couple (should) have similar interests already. If they don't it would be harder to "connect". Even if they have similar interests, they are still man/woman, meaning there are gender issues each one may not understand.
A homosexual couple (should) have similar interests, for the same reason. They can have similar interests AND not have as much of a gender barrier.
I would say that it is more likely that two homosexuals share more interests. But what do I know?
Say the kid is a boy, and has two dads I think in the longrun he will become more soft, emotional
Call the police, we have an emotionally sensitive male!
I just think it'd work better if we stopped pretending that the very fabric of social operation depended on our conforming to these antiquated standards that are themselves associated with the kind of lifestyles and infrastructure that we can't sustain for much longer anyhow.
Vote Strop, 2008.
I would say that it is more likely that two homosexuals share more interests. But what do I know?
Yes, but my point was that we shouldn't even be saying which kind of couples does this. It is more likely that homosexuals will share the same interests but that doesn't mean all homosexuals will have the same interests. Same goes for heterosexuals.
The bottom line is there should be no discrimination when it comes to parenting. Whether you are handicapped, gay, minority, hippie, rock star, porn star, WoW nerd, or anything. If you possess the qualities to raise a child in a good home, it doesn't matter.
Those that we should be worrying about are the children in homes with drug-ridden parents, abusive parents, alcoholics, and etc. THAT should be priority.
Well said, Ash. Instead of worrying about parents who may look different, we should be worrying about parents who act different like abuse drugs, alcohol, children, etc.
Usually, if the parents get children, then they will try to quit all of that if they have done it. And, why get a child if you are going to abuse it, there is no point!
@pegasus, these "arents," might have mental problems if they are going to get a child for the sole purpose of abusing him/her. It isn't "lanned," that the child will be abused, but it is more of an expression of anger directed at the child not for WHO he/she is. It is just because he/she is there to abuse.
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