Forums → WEPR → Gay Parents and Their Children
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This topic was spurred from the Gay Marriage topic.
Introduction
Gay couples all over the world adopt or have children of their own. This topic is going to initiate debate on some of the presented issues with gay parenting and the implications it might or might not have on the children. Please leave all the comments out like: "It's wrong because God say so."
The issues I am going to list below are a mix of irrational and rational concerns. Please remember that.
Issues
1. The children of gay parents will end up being gay.
2. The children will experience heavy turmoil in school.
3. Lesbians do not have enough "maternal" instincts to be a mother.
4. Gay couples do not have all the "right" tools to be parents.
Please discuss some of these issues (though some are so stupid it is funny).
Info I will contribute
Below is some info I have snagged from a few reputable sites.
Beliefs that lesbian and gay adults are not fit parents likewise have no empirical foundation (Anderssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perrin, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995). Lesbian and heterosexual women have not been found to differ markedly either in their overall mental health or in their approaches to child rearing (Bos et al., 2004; Kweskin & Cook, 1982; Lyons, 1983; Miller, Jacobsen, & Bigner, 1981; Mucklow & Phelan, 1979; Pagelow, 1980; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2001; Rand, Graham, & Rawlings, 1982; Siegenthaler & Bigner, 2000; Thompson, McCandless, & Strickland, 1971). Similarly, lesbians' romantic and sexual relationships with other women have not been found to detract from their ability to care for their children (Bos et al., 2004; Chan et al., 1998b; Pagelow, 1980). Lesbian couples who are parenting together have most often been found to divide household and family labor relatively evenly and to report satisfaction with their couple relationships (Bos et al., 2004; Brewaeys et al., 1997; Chan, et al., 1998a; Ciano-Boyce & Shelley-Sireci, 2002; Hand, 1991; Johnson & O'Connor, 2002; Koepke, Hare, & Moran, 1992; Osterweil, 1991; Patterson, 1995a; Sullivan, 1996; Tasker & Golombok, 1998; Vanfraussen, Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, & Brewaeys, 2003). Research on gay fathers likewise suggests that they are likely to divide the work involved in child care relatively evenly and that they are happy with their couple relationships (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002; McPherson, 1993).
The results of some studies suggest that lesbian mothers' and gay fathers' parenting skills may be superior to those of matched heterosexual couples. For instance, Flaks, Fischer, Masterpasqua, and Joseph (1995) reported that lesbian couples' parenting awareness skills were stronger than those of heterosexual couples. This was attributed to greater parenting awareness among lesbian nonbiological mothers than among heterosexual fathers. In one study, Brewaeys and her colleagues (1997) likewise reported more favorable patterns of parent-child interaction among lesbian as compared to heterosexual parents, but in another, they found greater similarities (Vanfraussen, Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, & Brewaeys, 2003). A recent study of 256 lesbian and gay parent families found that, in contrast to patterns characterizing the majority of American parents, very few lesbian and gay parents reported any use of physical punishment (such as spanking) as a disciplinary technique; instead, they were likely to report use of positive techniques such as reasoning (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002). Certainly, research has found no reasons to believe lesbian mothers or gay fathers to be unfit parents (Armesto, 2002; Barret & Robinson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jacobsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Weston, 1991). On the contrary, results of research suggest that lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive home environments for children.
The bulk of evidence to date indicates that children raised by gay and lesbian parents are no more likely to become homosexual than children raised by heterosexuals. As one researcher put it, "If heterosexual parenting is insufficient to ensure that children will also be heterosexual, then there is no reason to conclude that children of homosexuals also will be gay".
Studies asking the children of gay fathers to express their sexual orientation showed the majority of children to be heterosexual, with the proportion of gay offspring similar to that of a random sample of the population. An assessment of more than 300 children born to gay or lesbian parents in 12 different samples shows no evidence of "significant disturbances of any kind in the development of sexual identity among these individuals."
Courts have expressed concern that children raised by gay and lesbian parents may have difficulties with their personal and psychological development, self-esteem, and social and peer relationships. Because of this concern, researchers have focused on children's development in gay and lesbian families.
The studies conclude that children of gay or lesbian parents are no different than their counterparts raised by heterosexual parents. In "Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents," a 1992 article in Child Development, Charlotte Patterson states, "Despite dire predictions about children based on well-known theories of psychosocial development, and despite the accumulation of a substantial body of research investigating these issues, not a single study has found children of gay or lesbian parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of heterosexual parents."
Psychiatrist Laurintine Fromm, of the Institute of Pennsylvania Hospital, agrees with that finding. "[The] literature...does not indicate that these children fare any worse [than those of heterosexual parents] in any area of psychological development or sexual identity formation. A parent's capacity to be respectful and supportive of the child's autonomy and to maintain her own intimate attachments, far outweighs the influence of the parent's sexual orientation alone."
- 101 Replies
I have to disagree, when your a baby you want to mimic what your parents do, and how they act. This also happens when you grow older, you also want to do what your older siblings/parents are doing.
But I do think that some of it is biological, and you inharet some influences.
And if you feel that you are truly gay, then you shouldn't care what other people think about you. As long as you truly love your partner, and don't cheat on them.
But I do think that some of it is biological, and you inharet some influences.
Well, in what domains exactly are you suggesting? This may be important, as in some cases the alleged implications that can be used to argue against homosexual parents (though you don't appear to be doing this), must also be applied to adoption etc. In a way it's a little like the issue I was pointing out behind the nebulous principles of parts of the Catholic faith.
The children of gay parents will end up being gay: Yes it is most likely that a child that has been raised by a gay parent(s) will become gay. I mean children learn from their parents, and also inharet from them too.
Whoa, I just read this, and I happen to disagree. Not, as BASHA reckoned, that this is necessarily an issue but I just think you're wrong to say that :P I mean, this goes against quite a substantial body of evidence that points to epigenetic and baseline neurobiological notions of sexuality.
I think it's more appropriate to say that the environment won't actually cause the behaviors but it may foster a more open attitude (desensitisation if you must) to non-heteronormative behaviors.
well I think that your surroundings, being gay parents, would influence you a little to be gay. And you also learn your values, and principles from your parents. Now I'm not a neuro specialist, but I think there has to be something that you inhearet when your born. I mean all the genes are there, and those genes form your mind, and your mind makes decisions about everything including your sexuality. But as I said before I'm not an expert on the human mind. But I do know some things about it.
~Snowman1474
Tarzan was raised by apes, and what did he act like? Of course, there were snakes, monkeys and lions in the jungle, but he still acted like an ape.
of course, there was that one elf who wanted to be a dentist...
But if EVERYONE was gay, the birth rate would go down, and the human population would drop, unless they hire a prostitute (sry, but that's what would happen. All of the adopted children would be taken...) and had a baby with them. But then, wouln't that defeat the purpose of being homosexual? Would a homosexual be willing to change his/her ways for the good of humanity?
Idk...i'll probably be torn to pieces on this, but this is what i think...
Sighn me up for ga parents Right now!!!
so what if there gay they are alowed children adoption or something along the lines of that.
Put it this way....
If u where in a gay marrige whould u want to be stoped from having children?
no im not gay nor are my parents i know a few gay people they dont want to cause a row they want to live life like any stright person can kissing who ever they want even if its same Gender let them live there life and you live yours
well I think that your surroundings, being gay parents, would influence you a little to be gay. And you also learn your values, and principles from your parents. Now I'm not a neuro specialist, but I think there has to be something that you inhearet when your born. I mean all the genes are there, and those genes form your mind, and your mind makes decisions about everything including your sexuality.
Well, we're starting to get somewhere here...what you're saying here is that there's an interaction between behaviors learnt from environments and tendencies to behaviors that are congenital (i.e. you're born with them), or even genetic.
It should be stressed that the assumption that 'homosexuality is hereditary' is false given the enduring prevalence. Incidentally, for similar reasons, the 'opulation would reduce' arguments are also a load of hockey. Heredity appears to have little if anything to do with it at all, actually, which is why I specifically noted the theory of epigenetic effect i.e. changes that have a physiological basis but lie outside of genes given and transcribed...anyway that might be getting too complicated.
Basically saying that "it's a mix of nature and nurture" is a step in the right direction. However exactly how to define what and where is debatable, so I'm going to provide some examples which seem to me an accurate representation of what might go on. It's vastly simplified but for the sake of discussing 'homosexuality' that's how the cookie crumbles:
1) Kid grows up to heterosexual parents and has heterosexual inclinations.
2) Kid grows up to heterosexual parents and has homosexual inclinations.
3) Kid grows up to homosexual parents and has heterosexual inclinations.
4) Kid grows up to homosexual parents and has homosexual inclinations.
What are the factors that influence how likely each of these cases are? I'm inclined to say that 2) is definitely not uncommon (that's pretty obvious) and that there are also definitely examples of 3) from the above. 2) and 3) appear to carry some kind of conflict, but I must stress that due to normative values, 2) is actually much more likely to cause conflict and trauma than 3)- given that homosexual couples are in the minority and are stigmatised, they are compelled to foster a more open attitude that is inclusive, as opposed to the less-considerate majority.
I don't think they'd be compelled to turn their kids gay if they aren't already...this is analogous to saying that your parents want you to be a carbon-copy of them. And this is not usually the case.
Because I've finished the content portion of my thesis, I'm going to prove to Aaron that it's possible to disagree with somebody without tearing them to pieces
But if EVERYONE was gay, the birth rate would go down
a) Not necessarily...you allude to why yourself!
b) Since when were we talking about if everybody was gay?
unless they hire a prostitute...and had a baby with them
As mentioned before, IVF and surrogacy are other options; legality of the latter depends on jurisdiction.
But then, wouln't that defeat the purpose of being homosexual?
Is there a *purpose* to being homosexual? I didn't think there was, really.
Would a homosexual be willing to change his/her ways for the good of humanity?
It's possible (as in there's cultural precedent) to view childbirth and childcare as separate from the bounds of a unified heterosexual monogamous relationship. That is to say, child bearing as a civic duty might actually be a more effective way to start thinking about things in this day and age where population imbalance is a real issue.
But this is a very complex issue.
I honestly don't think that people should care about homosexuality as much as they do, I'm certain its not keeping them up at night and it's not changing anything in the world, its just different.
And yes a few tools may be missing but all of my gay and lesbian friends(don't even crack on it) are either goofs or just nice people. I only know one real fairy that takes the homosexual lifestyle really seriously.
whether or not you have a gay babysitter or a gay neighbor or know a gay parent really shouldn't affect you until the kid is abused or negatively treated. besides, we all miss a few skills in child raising, but we sure try to learn them for our loved ones.
Well said.
This is important:
I only know one real fairy that takes the homosexual lifestyle really seriously
I'm not going to posit numbers or proportions, but let it be known that there is a separate set of cultural features for those who take the identity politics seriously enough to engage in "gay lifestyle". Often it is these and also minority subsets of this that tends to be criticised as a generalisation of the whole.
It's ok strop, im not a professor, and I'm not critiquing your grammer.
but yeah. Hey strop, want to play some Free Rider 2?
If there is going to be equality between homosexuals and straights then first there needs to be equality between the genders. Women always get the child in divorce proceedings. A guy in my squadron divorced his wife because she smoked weed and she was out of control in front of the kids and she got custody of them. It is things like that which need to be sorted out first in my opinion as they affect even more people. But i still think gays should be allowed to adopt.
It's not always true that the children of gay couples will be gay...it's the same thing as saying that the children of a straight couple will always end up straight...that's not true. However, I do agree that they children will experience severe turmoil in school or public areas..watching them be a family that isn't "natural."
1. The children of gay parents will end up being gay.
Well, she/he that was raised by gays/lesbians has choosen his own path of life, the parents have nothing to do whit it, the guy could have ben straight if he would feel strong feelings about womens, but he doesn't and he becomes gay, it's pretty much his own will, not that he was raised whit gay-people surrounded.
2. The children will experience heavy turmoil in school.
Yes, this is true, for some reason all the bullies hate gays, pretty many of them to, and when the kid comes to school his gonna be bullied, if doesn't proof him self to be a great, awesome kid to hang around whit, it's sad but true
3. Lesbians do not have enough "maternal" instincts to be a mother. Oh, i don't know anything what to put on this subject, but i somehow have a feeling that a woman and another woman has the strongest bond, they do not break up as easy as straight couples, so the kid is not gonna suffer from a devorce.
4. Gay couples do not have all the "right" tools to be parents. Yes they do have pretty many times bot if they don't have it's probably gonna be a disaster and the company or hospital that adopted the baby is gonna ask it back cause' you can't take care of it
Alova
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