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Short Story Contest

Posted Mar 5, '13 at 2:24pm

Reton8

Reton8

2,963 posts

Moderator

It's sliver of silver, like a very small piece or shard of silver. I made the same mistake though at first. For soem reason, the incorrect, silver of silver reminded me of of was "O Captain! My Captain!" from "Dead poets society.

 

Posted Mar 6, '13 at 8:05pm

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

9,475 posts

I got unexpectedly pounded with homework, so judging is postponed until the weekend. The next round will have an 800 word limit, just so you can get started early. The next theme is Ample Answer.

 

Posted Mar 7, '13 at 7:18pm

StormWalker

StormWalker

8,068 posts

Yay, word limit increase.
Thankee kindred sir.

 

Posted Mar 7, '13 at 7:57pm

StormWalker

StormWalker

8,068 posts

And because I didn't feel like adding more to one of my other writings, I took a break and wrote this up. 815 words, is that okay?


My house is small. It's nothing much more than a door, three walls, and a roof wedged up against a cliff on a mountain. It's windy here. Anya's always afraid that the house will blow away, but I get to reassure her that it won't. However, it's cold as well. The roof sags with the snow, and flakes drift in on the wintry wind through the cracks around the floor and around the warped glass of the windows.
Today it snowed even more, small flecks drifting from the ceiling. Neither of us wants to go out today, but what has to be done gets done.
We need more food. No question about it. The hole we dug in the ground, packed the fruit and honey in with snow, is just about empty. We're talking a few grapes and a rotten-looking pear no one wants to touch.
I rolled over and woke up Anya. Anya's small, but is exiteable. She has silvery hair, long, to her waist, and a strange passion for the theft that keeps us alive. I just prefer a quick job, in and out and done.
But on the inside, I want to learn. I can read; I'm not uneducated. But we're far away, and whenever a scrap of newprint falls into my hands, I devour it. Anya looks down on me for this.
But back to the point. Food.
Anya grabed a ragged jacket and we piled onto the long board and sledded down the mountainside. The board cut the snow, spraying frothy whiteness into our faces. Anya let out a shriek of delight.
Then, inevitably, the ride had to end. I rolled off, tugging Anya with me, and the board continues barreling down the slope.
The village bustles with uncharacteristic activity. We slid into the crowd. A young man, a trader by the looks, selling paper information, was the cause.
My heart raced at the thought of all the words to be read, and before I know it Anya'd left me behind, heading for a fruit vendor. Anya's good at stealing. People take one glance at her innocent face and trust her.
Their mistake.
I drifted towards the man. He casted me and my rags a glance, and assumed I had no money. This time, though, I do.
A week ago, a caravan bustled through town. I slipped up next to a rich woman, dug my hand into her pocket, and pulled out a relic; a leathery band and a crystal disk.
Anya disapproved of me taking the risk, but she always takes risks, so why shouldn't I?
"What do you want?" asked the man without looking up. "And don't think I won't notice you stealing."
Offended, I proffered the device and pointed at several newsprints that caught my eye. I wanted to know more about the world, but we were secluded here, in the mountains. No news passed through to us.
The man was goggling at the device, and after a stunned silence, ripped it from my palm. "I know you," he whispered to the crystal surface.
I waited patiently, organizing the papers I wanted into a pile. Anya would doubtless be cross about me 'wasting my time on the learned men's kuld.' But I wanted, no, needed, to know. It was a hunger, more real than the physical one gnawing my gut.
The man twisted a knob and the crystal surface lit up, revealing a little hologram of a young woman. I gasped. I'd never seen such tech. Another sign of my ignorance. "Averakade," whispered the young man, and such was the emotion in his eyes that I felt as if I were trespassing. The people waiting behind me grumbled about the delay.
He snapped the watch shut and asked me in rough tones, "Where did you get this?"
I lifted one shoulder. That's a secret. If he knew I was a theif, he'd probably drag me off to the jail. And then Anya would starve without me, because she always goes for the wrong targets when she steals.
But the man grabbed my shoulders and shook me to punctuate his words. "Where...did....you...get...this?"
I cleared my little-used voice and said, "A lady and her group came through town last week."
His face softened. "She's so close..." Then he shut off the machine. "Here. Take them. Take them all." He shoved the papers in my direction, and I gathered them up with glee. "And," he murmured, "so you understand me..." He pressed another paper into my palm, and then collapsed his vendor, leapt on a sure-footed horse, and sped away.
People grumbled more, but I was flying inside.
Finally, words, after the longest period in which I had nothing to read, and all the scraps were memorized. Here were ample answers to all my questions. Forgetting everything, the flow of people around me, the freezing weather, even Anya with the food, I sat down and began to read.
 

Posted Mar 8, '13 at 6:01pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

6,889 posts

Cave

Just dead bones walking now. Just a bit of withered flesh suspened on an animated frame. Not too long now, and I'll join the others.

Don't know where anyone else is. Don't know where anything else is. Hell, I don't even know where I am... Which is funny, because I swear I used to know. It was me and Mark and Paulina and we had all decided to...

I don't know. But I didn't want to. They wanted to and made me and yelled at me and hurt my feelings. Now they've gone and left me here in this cave and I've only got enough supplies in poor enough condition.

The supplie's condition? Sh!t, what about my condition?

Poor me...

---

just me now. the darkness is starting to come in and my lamps are failing and i don't know what to do. ink in my pen is running out too so i'll keep it brief. i can hear something moving around out there, probably just some bats or some dumb animal.

yeah... bats...

but mark and... and... mark hasn't shown up and i'm still waiting and still hating him for dragging poor me to this hell hole.

shhhh! shhhhh! gotta be quiet, gotta stop writing because they can hear me scratching on the paper with my pen.

---

poor me poor me poor me why did he drag poor me here and leave me and join them and leave poor me here now im hurt and poor me and poor me and i can hear them coming and fluttering and whispering and talking and it hurts my head and the darkness is quiet and so quiet and it hurts to hear and shhhhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhh i can hear them and they know im snitching and they dont like it but its too late mow and the cave knows too

---

gotz ta b queit so i kan heer them wizper to mee wat i want to heer bcuz i lik it and the darknis is nise and luvlee and preshis and the muzic wants me to leeve and go deeper and i think i wil so i will and poor me and poor me and deer god it hurts it hurts... It hurts... IT HURTS!

 

Posted Mar 10, '13 at 12:10am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

9,475 posts

Sorry, I was out of town all day Saturday. But this week is my Spring Break, so the judging should be up in a few days.

815 words, is that okay?

I'm keeping strict on the new limit, so no.
 

Posted Mar 10, '13 at 5:54pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

6,889 posts

Judge this version. Fixed some grammatical and spelling errors in a few parts where they aren't intended.

Cave

Just dead bones walking now. Just a bit of withered flesh suspended on an animated frame. Not too long now, and I'll join the others.

Don't know where anyone else is. Don't know where anything else is. Hell, I don't even know where I am... Which is funny, because I swear I used to know. It was me and Mark and Paulina and we had all decided to...

I don't know. But I didn't want to. But they wanted to and made me and yelled at me and hurt my feelings. Now they've gone and left me here in this cave and I've only got enough supplies to last a few days, and they're in poor enough condition.

The supplies' condition? Sh!t, what about my condition?

Poor me...

---

just me now. the darkness is starting to come in and my lamps are failing and i don't know what to do. ink in my pen is running out too so i'll keep it brief. i can hear something moving around out there, probably just some bats or some dumb animal.

yeah... bats...

but mark and... and... mark hasn't shown up and i'm still waiting and still hating him for dragging poor me to this hell hole.

shhhh! shhhhh! gotta be quiet, gotta stop writing because they can hear me scratching on the paper with my pen.

---

poor me poor me poor me why did he drag poor me here and leave me and join them and leave poor me here now im hurt and poor me and poor me and i can hear them coming and fluttering and whispering and talking and it hurts my head and the darkness is quiet and so quiet and it hurts to hear and shhhhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhh i can hear them and they know im snitching and they dont like it but its too late now and the cave knows too and shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

---

gotz ta b queit so i kan heer them wizper to mee wat i want to heer bcuz i lik it and the darknis is nise and luvlee and preshis and the muzic wants me to leeve and go deeper and i think i wil so i will and poor me and poor me and deer god it hurts it hurts... It hurts... IT HURTS!

 

Posted Mar 10, '13 at 8:30pm

StormWalker

StormWalker

8,068 posts

I'm keeping strict on the new limit, so no.

Dangit. *removes 15 words from random places* This makes it so much harder, and the story flows less well.

My house is small. It's nothing much more than a door, three walls, and a roof wedged up against a cliff on the mountain. It's windy here. Anya's afraid that the house will blow away, but I always reassure her that it won't. However, it's cold as well. The roof sags with the snow, and flakes drift in on the wintry wind through the cracks around the floor and around the warped glass of the windows.
Today it snowed even more, small flecks drifting from the ceiling. Neither of us wants to go out today, but what has to be done gets done.
We need more food. No question about it. The hole we dug in the ground, packed the fruit and honey in with snow, is just about empty. We're talking a few grapes and a rotten-looking pear no one wants to touch.
I rolled over and woke up Anya. Anya's small, but is excitable. She has silvery hair to her waist, and a strange passion for the theft that keeps us alive. I just prefer a quick job, in and out and done.
But on the inside, I want to learn. I can read; I'm not uneducated. But we're far away, and whenever a scrap of newsprint falls into my hands, I devour it. Anya looks down on me for this.
But back to the point. Food.
Anya grabbed a ragged jacket and we piled onto the long board, sledding down the mountainside. The board cut the snow, spraying frothy whiteness into our faces. Anya let out a shriek of delight.
Then, inevitably, the ride ended. I rolled off, tugging Anya with me, and the board continued barreling down the slope.
The village bustled with uncharacteristic activity. We slid into the crowd, seeing a young man, a trader by the looks, selling information.
My heart raced at the thought of all the words to be read, and before I know it Anya'd left me behind, heading for a fruit vendor. Anya's good at stealing. People take one glance at her innocent face and trust her.
Their mistake.
I drifted towards the man. He casted me and my rags a glance and assumed I had no trade. This time, I did.
A week ago, a caravan bustled through town. I slipped up next to a woman, dug my hand into her pocket, and pulled out a mek; a leathery band and a crystal disk.
Anya disapproved of me taking the risk, but she always takes risks, so why shouldn't I?
"What do you want?" asked the man without looking up. "And don't think I won't notice you stealing."
Offended, I proffered the device and pointed at several newsprints that caught my eye. I wanted to know more about the world, but we were secluded in the mountains. No news passed to us.
The man was goggling at the device, and after a stunned silence, ripped it from my palm. "I know you," he whispered to the machine.
I waited patiently, organizing the papers I wanted into a pile. Anya would doubtless be cross about me 'wasting my time on the learned men's kuld.' But I wanted, no, needed, to know. It was hunger, more real than the physical one gnawing my gut.
The man twisted a knob and the crystal surface lit up, revealing a little hologram of a young woman. I gasped. I'd never seen such tech. Another sign of my ignorance. "Averakade," whispered the young man, and such was the emotion in his eyes that I felt as if I were trespassing. The people behind me grumbled about the delay.
He snapped the watch shut and asked me in rough tones, "Where did you get this?"
I lifted one shoulder. That's a secret. If he knew I was a thief, he'd probably throw me in jail. And then Anya would starve without me. She always goes for the wrong targets when she steals.
But the man grabbed my shoulders and shook me to punctuate his words. "Where...did....you...get...this?"
I cleared my throat and said, "A lady and her group came through town last week."
His face softened. "She's so close..." Then he closed the machine. "Here. Take them. Take them all." He shoved the papers in my direction, and I gathered them up with glee. "And," he murmured, "so you understand me..." He pressed another paper into my palm, and then collapsed his vendor, leapt on a sure-footed horse, and sped away.
People grumbled more, but I was flying inside.
Finally, words, after the longest period in which I had nothing to read, and all the scraps were memorized. Here were ample answers to all my questions. Forgetting everything, the people around me, the freezing weather, even Anya with the food, I sat down and began to read.
 

Posted Mar 14, '13 at 5:06pm

StormWalker

StormWalker

8,068 posts

*waits impatiently for judging to come out*

 

Posted Mar 14, '13 at 6:10pm

Mickeyryn

Mickeyryn

284 posts

That is such a great story, you are an excellent writer.
Nice job=)
Too bad I am not a judge....

 
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