Forums

ForumsArt, Music, and Writing

Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

Thread Locked

Posted Sep 8, '08 at 12:15am

adrecka_33

adrecka_33

324 posts

That was very good, totally created a good picture.....

 

Posted Sep 8, '08 at 7:45pm

Apocalypse

Apocalypse

376 posts

IqAndreas, really, great job. Do you like writing poetry because that poem  is truley a great job.

 

Posted Sep 8, '08 at 8:04pm

IQAndreas

IQAndreas

288 posts

Actually, I don't write poetry that often, unless I really feel like it or if it is assigned for school. When I write for myself, it mostly depends on my mood. It swings severely, and when I'm in the mood to write, I usually do so very well and in extreme amounts. Otherwise, I can only stare at a blank page unable to think (like right now :( ). This is especially inconvenient when sitting in school unable to do the most basic problems or write a basic story.

Thanks for all the comments. :) I really appreciate them.
That is the first draft, so are there any changes that could be made?
Should I make it rhyme better or something?

 

Posted Sep 8, '08 at 10:27pm

adrecka_33

adrecka_33

324 posts

Rhyming would make it flow better, but it would do no good if it took any feelings out of the poem. if you can still create the whole feel and rhyme then i vote do it.....then again it is very good the way it is....it is all your choice...

 

Posted Sep 9, '08 at 5:31pm

DragonMistress

DragonMistress

1,113 posts

Knight

These are all coming along great! I don't know if I'm going to be in over my head here, haha. Also, I noticed a few that didn't necessarily follow the rules I put in place, I'm only going to consider ones that followed the theme. Next week's theme will be a bit easier, promise!

 

Posted Sep 10, '08 at 10:54am

shayneii

shayneii

2,436 posts

Was one of the rules that it had to be a PARODY of an epic, so does it have to be funny cause I know mine isn't :P

 

Posted Sep 10, '08 at 2:21pm

adrecka_33

adrecka_33

324 posts

This is my real poem, the one i want you to consider, i fixed all the symobls and wording problems here it is.....

What is the price you pay, to be the hero of the day?

You proudly walk down the street
Head held high for all to see.

You are the hero of the town
You are given glory and gifts.

But at what price.
You heart and mind forever scared
By the memories you now harbor.

Asleep you fall on a bed, worth for a king
But the comfort that it brings is far away.

As your mind brings you back to that fateful day.
The cold pricing your armor as you walk
Through the empty streets of a empty town.

A dark figure fly's past, you dash to fallow
Your heart is racing at the excitement.

You draw your sword as he draws his.
The clang of steal echoes loudly in your ears.

The criminal now in your hands.
The voices around you, tell you to
Bring him to justice and in a moment
Of weakness you do...

The cry or pain now burnt into you head.
Your pride now turning to shame.
The color of death now forever stains your mind.

You wake with a fright...

A hero, a knight, and a savior they say
But nothing could be farther from the truth.

I hang my head in sorrow, tears falling
One by one you're so called hero, crying.

But tears will not erase what I have done
the errors of a sinful son.

The price I paid for glory and fame.
Is to be for ever trapped in a
Prison of sorrow and pain.

By, Adrecka   

Hope you like it, its a sorta different perspective on a hero....

 

Posted Sep 10, '08 at 7:59pm

skater_kid_who_pwns

skater_kid_who_pwns

4,313 posts

I am from gardening in the springs,
Flowers, shrubs, and tomato plants
Growing from small seeds
Covering the garden blues and greens and reds
The bubble bees fly to them then to there nest

I am from skate boarding in the summer,
My deck of blacks and blues,
Miss a trick and it might just break clean in two,
My body covered in bruises and scrapes,
Each from a different mistake.
Skating with my friends in the streets
Saying hi to those we meet.

I am from apple cider in the fall
Sticky on my lips
From thanks giving turkeys
Eating apple and pumpkin pies
Filling the house with cinnamon smells
From raking up all the leaves, making big old piles
Jumping in them brings to our faces big smiles.

I am from winter, and the snow on the ground
From building snow man and angels littering the yard
Sledding down the biggest hills,
Till my face turns to blue
Drinking hot chocolate, sending warmth down to my toes
Presents on Christmas morning,
With a sweet Christmas ham
Spending the day with family, fun to be had.

i don't know if that really fits here...it was a poem I just kinda wrote down. Sorry if it dosnt belong here.

 

Posted Sep 11, '08 at 10:18am

DragonMistress

DragonMistress

1,113 posts

Knight

Was one of the rules that it had to be a PARODY of an epic, so does it have to be funny cause I know mine isn't :P

It doesn't have to be funny, though I'd like that too... what I wanted to show was that it doesn't have to be an *actual* epic poem, where a third person writes about a hero for pages and pages and pages. Most of the submissions here are great. Just a few days left!!

 

Posted Sep 13, '08 at 9:58am

shayneii

shayneii

2,436 posts

Oh okay good... because I sure didn't write for pages and pages :P

Anyways I think submissions are closed... it is September 13! *cries with joy* :P