Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)
A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.
Well, that said, heres the rules:
1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)
Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...
The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond
(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt')
- 5,309 Replies
@maverick4: You contacted heard from any other mods about the merit thing? lol
@ shayneii: No, but Zoph said she would look into it I think.
No More Entrys. Judging Now.
Bronze Award: Moabarmorgamer (Moat)
The water ripples
The stone skips across the pond
The frogs leap away
This one is written really quite well, and It reminds me alot of a pond. Though in my opinion, it would have been best it you had tied the lines together. Instead of each line being about a differnt thing, try and make them have something a bit more in common. Okay, I could have worded that better.
Iron Award: Poison Arrow
Distorting, shifting, changing
Scratching the surface
This is really good also. Though it reminds me of a grey, cloudy misty sorta of day, where you sit and watch something for hours, it still talks of a pond. Good job to you too also.
Silver Award: shayneii
Splish, a fish jumps... joy
Bursting, colourful delight
The sound goes, "Gah-ploonk".
This one is alot like some classic haikus from feudal Japan, if you ever bother to look at them. It really reminds me of a pond. Exelente
Gold Award (and also first place): Alt
round stone changing destinies
An era of thoughts
I have to say, it was reall close between you and shayneii. You both had great haikus; shayneii's resembling a more classic haiku, while yours reflected deeper into the thoughts. So yours won. I would go say get your merit, but, I cant. Oh well, atleast you have a warm fuzzy feeling in you, right?
And now for those that the above awards cant describe:
1337 Award: GuitarHeroFTW
i liek pondz they iz
very coulourful and they
are made of water
Scare-the-something-out-of-me Award: Bronze
The water is still
But I know you sleep under
Ever watching me
Jamie? Theres something in the water...
*gets pulled under*
Something straight out of a horror movie m8...
The 'I could care less' Award: Zega
The pond is a pond.
No ordinary old pond.
It is just a pond
If you dont want to be here, why dont you just leave? Whats so special about the pond that you feel a need to write about it? Hmmm?
Hmmmm... Oh yes, the next deadline is Wednsday, Septemer 9th, and the theme will be The Fruit Tree. (orchard, or a lone tree, have at it)
An ancient oak stands erect,
Holding dark secrets.
Haha... good job alt... I can't believe I got 2nd! :P
Hey, posted the next contest on the Announcement Board in the Tavern. (if anyone cares... :P )
Hmm I didn't even get an award that was named after me xD
Let me tell you what I got out of mine: A dead person laying in the bottom of a pond with their eyes wide open.
Anyway, here is my kind of sad fruit tree haiku.
Lonely tree swaying
Fruit to give but none to take
Waiting for someone
@poison, I guess you went with the fruit of knowledge instead of an actual fruit tree.
I guess I did. But, if needed, revisions.
I can see where your going with it; the 'dark secrets' being the fruit of knowledge. Its good, kudos to you for following the topic with out mentioning fruit.
Danger lurks inside it
It stands out from the rest
It causes death
--If it's more syllables then it should be sorry xD If so tell me to do another--
Lol wow I fail with Syllables.. Lol
Let me fix it.
Danger Lurks Inside
It will Stand out from the Rest
It will cause you death
--Ah there we go I think that's good.--
Danger lurks inside it = 6 syllables (should be 5)
It stands out from the rest = 6 (should be 7)
It causes death = 4 (should be 5)
I think I fixed it now though xD
Poison apple right? Just to makesure, its 'A Fruit Tree'. I would try and signify the whole 'Fruit' thing.
Thread is locked!