Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Literature Fight!

Here's my tabulation of the pages people's stories are on, along with the tally of who has submitted and a summary of everyone's status based on their comments.

Pois0nArr0w: Page 26
alt: Page 25
kingryan, Zaork: Page 24
wajor59: Page 23
Freakenstein: Page 18
Parsat, XVERB: Page 17
slayguy: Page 13

Team1:
Aknerd, Freakenstein, tomertheking, Jezz, Parsat, Alt, Xzeno, wolf1991, Xverb

Team2:
Slayguy8, Zaork, thepossum, Fallensky, Joey6855, SecretMapper, Poison, KR, Wajor59.

----

A summary of the state of entries in Round 1 from comments on this thread:

9 people have submitted; 4 from team 1 and 5 from team 2. Xzeno and wolf have recently stated their stories are underway. Fallensky came back from a vacation and might be delayed. aknerd last complained about restrictive prompts, but is presumed to be working on his. Reading between the lines, Jezz, Secretmapper, and thepossum are presumed to be working on their stories and/or procrastinating. tomertheking posed a question 17 days ago but has not posted on this thread since. Joey6855 is nowhere to be seen in this thread.

Good work Parsat! Anyone know Tomer's and Joey's contact information besides AG? I'll go nag some guys to make them get done faster lol

Well, time for my story. Be warned that it is extremely rushed. It's 11 at night here, and I wrote it as I went along, no plan or anything like that. I just procrastinated, so it's my fault. I just know I won't have the time on Monday or Tuesday, so I had to do it right now. Oh well, I hope it's at least mediocre.

Upon waking, Thepossum felt the sun beating upon his face. However, he deemed it was not yet the proper time to open his eyes. This was because he knew he was not in a bed, but on the ground, and he had no idea as to how he had gotten there. He knew from personal experience that it was better to remember where he had been and what he had done, before revealing his consciousness to anyone that might be around to see(Or was watching, as the case may be). In certain situations, it was better to be unconscious. So he lay there, thinking hard about the night before.

Slowly, in short bursts, memories were revealed to him. He had been on a ship, a cruise ship. He was lucky to have been able to go on that cruise. Though he was, in fact, a wizard and was quite rich, he was also notoriously cheap, and refused to buy luxuries outside of his home(his home being one of the largest in the world). He recalled being in the ship's casino, happily gambling away, gaining little but losing nothing(such was his strategy). He remembered going to a party on the deck of his ship, a party held by himself in celebration of his best friend's birthday. Then, in a sudden rush, not-so-happy memories returned to him: The captain shouting, the scream of metal on rock,and the boat lurching forward, throwing him into the ocean, where he had lost consciousness.

The only indication he had of where he was was the feeling of lying in sand that he had. Then, his cover was blown by his magical staff, the one that held the essence of Rick Astley. "We're no strangers to love!", it sung. Thepossum immediately sprung up and crouched into a defensive position, a fireball spell on the tip of his tounge. However, he was foiled by his robes and tripped, his hat falling over his eyes. He then realized that there had been no response from any other sort of life form. Readjusting his eyes, he looked around. He was on an island, a small one. The usual type, covered in jungle, with a beach around the rim. Around him, in the shallows, were pieces of ship and the various things found among ships. Shrugging, he started to recall his spell of transporting, in order to get back to his home in ArmorLand.

At that moment. he realized that his staff had slipped out of his hand and started to hop away. It was also singing rather loudly, "You know the rules, and so do I!" Catching it, Thepossum realized he had been led far into the jungle. Around him was the jungle, but also some strange markings on several of the plaints that made said jungle. Looking closer, Thepossum quickly started preparing all spells that had the ability to maim or kill someone. Those markings were those of followers of the red, Knights by the look of them. Being a wizard, he had a distinct advantage in battle. This was also helped by the fact that he was known as the strongest wizard in the world. Also, he had the Rick Astley Staff, which had the power to both magnify any spell he cast exponentially, and to Rickroll any enemy he chose, which would send them to a small room where Rick Astley's music played nonstop, driving them crazy. This ability, however, could only be used once a day. Though he knew it would have been wiser to just teleport himself out of there, he decided he would seek and destroy all followers of Red while he was there.

Suddenly, he heard the blaring of horns. Then a voice blared through the jungle, "All Knights of the Order of Red, report to the jungle immediately! Intruder alert!" "Huh, looks like I've been saved the trouble of finding the Knights," said Thepossum. He knew that he was at a disadvantage in a full-on jungle, so he simply burned all the jungle within a 1000 foot radius. After having done this, he noticed that there were several hundred Knights, swords drawn, lining into formation, facing him. Thus the battle begin. Thepossum began by calling forth a storm that rained fire that would not harm him, and that shot bolts of lightning, which could be aimed by himself. The Knights responded by ordering their archers to fire. This was laughable, as a storm that rained fire could easily stop arrows. While this was all very impressive, it also exhausted Thepossum. To recall his strength, he simply drank some Powerade, the official drink of Blue. By this time, the Knights had simply charged through the storm. This was extremely costly, as only ten of them had made it through. This was where it got fun.

He summoned forth several swords, which were animated to attack without needing him to wield them. He himself wielded a giant golden mace, which he had yet to name.(Hint:Anyone have any ideas as to a name?) Running forward, he ordered the swords to attack. He himself Rickrolled one of the Knights. The swords cut down two more without a fight, such was the speed of the attack.(Ever wonder where the term blitzkrieg came from?) Swinging his mace, he called forth his fireball spell. This incinerated one of the Knights. His mace was parried and its momentum carried him past his target, leaving him vulnerable. The Knight swung, but was blocked by Thepossum's magical forcefield that he had around him at all times. The poor sap was cut down by the swords. The swords continued to attack two of the Knights. He himself faced the remaining three. He noticed there was an archer with them, who hung back, his bow trained on Thepossum.

Thepossum responded by uncovering his staff's mouth, which he had had covered with duct tape this entire time. It shouted out more lyrics, forcing the Knights to cover their ears. Thepossum ran forward and swung his macei n an ard. It missed the archer's head, but managed to hit the bow, splintering it and making it useless. Thepossum turned towards the others. His swords had fought and killed one more Knight, but the other had managed to live until their magic ran out. The last three Knights approached him. Thepossum called forth a wraith from the Land of the Ghosts, whcih he then commanded to blind the Knights. This done, he was exhausted yet again. However, his job was now easy. He quickly dispactched two of the Knights, sparing the third. He used his handy roll of duct tape to tie up said Knight. This done, he began to question the Knight. "Where are we?" he asked. The Knight replied, "We are on an island, about 70 miles off the coast of the beaches of ArmorCity, home of the Blue." "And what are you doing here?" "We were preparing to attack said City, in order to finally defeat the Blue!" "Was the army on this island the only force to that was to attack?" "Like I'd ever tell you that!", the Knight spat. "You will, else you will know the pain a Rickroll can inflict on both mind and body!" Shaking in fear, the Knight relented, saying, "There are several thousand others that are prepared to attack the City, we were ordered to attack during the release of the City's new version of itself, 3.0, because there would be many glitches and bugs which we would be able to exploit." "Where are the rest pf these forces?" "That is something I would never tell you, not even at the threat of insanity!"

Realizing he had gotten all the info he could, he teleported the Knight to his homeland. He then proceeded to teleport himself. He was headed towards ArmorCity, in order to warn the High Council of the impending attack. He would have to spend the night here though. He was exhausted from his spell-casting and mace-swinging. He looked around for supplies, greatly regretting he had destroyed the jungle. Oh well. He gathered the wood from the trees that had not completely incinerated, some fishing line he found in the water, and other necessary materials, in order to make himself a tipi. This done, he cast a spell to light a fire that was warm but not too hot, and that would last all night if need be. He then made a bed out of leaves(mainly palm), put duct tape over Rick Astley's mouth, and lay down. Waking up, he made a quick breakfast of sea turtle, then teleported to ArmorCity. As soon as he got there, he wrote down a warning on a flier, then proceeded to copy, paste, and submit the paper all over The Community. This caused quite the uproar. Satisfied that the people were warned, he went to The Tavern, sat down, and read the paper while sipping some rootbeer.


I count 1493 words. If you need a word count, go here.

Well, looks like it's a 4 vs. 6 now. Hopefully the others in my team will pop a story out in two days, else they get the boot.

Reading between the lines, Jezz, Secretmapper, and thepossum are presumed to be working on their stories and/or procrastinating.

To: Parsat, Good Job! What a useful summary, Tally Ho!

To: TheP, rofl, "...magical staff... with the essence of Rick Astley...". Your time may have been rushed but your imagination was working OT!

Yes I'm one lazy bastard.

Fallen will start working on it...now!

My 2000 word critique of the catholic church*... uh... I mean "island escape story" is almost done. So don't freak out or anything.

Flight 476

Hey, you, you're that reporter guy ain'cha? Yeah, though I recognized ya. You're that one doin' that story about that plane crash few years back right? Thought so. How'd I know, you ask? Heh heh well I gots a tale to tell if you want to know. Goes along with how I got these scars on my face, right bloody aweful it was. Yeah they don't hurt me anymore, but I tell ya they burned something fiece when this was all just skin, ya know minus the scar tissue and what not. Ya know I never got your name. What was it again? Fontaine? Well Mr. Fontaine let me buy you a drink and then we can head on over to that table there so I can finish my own and tell you how I got these scars. Don'cha worry none 'bout that plane crash, we'll get to it, hell that plane crash is just the beginning of what I'm gonna tell you. So you get whatcha need and I'll get on with my story. Trust me me on this one Mr. Fontaine. Trust me.

Iâll never forget wakinâ up to the sound of screaming metal and hitting those trees. I was on a small flight to visit some family vacationing in Japan. I had lived most my life in Maine and hadnât left much. Hell, farthest I went was to New York for a Bruins and Rangers game. Tell ya them Bruins lost too. Anyway, I woke up right quick when I felt the bloody impact, it was somethingâ awful I tell ya. So here I am in this plane and for some reason we hit the damn earth none to soft and not too quietly. Next thing I know the damn plane is on fire and I seem to be the only one alive, canât believe it. You might call it lucky Mr. Fontaine, but I call it miraculous, well except for the fire around me. And soon on me. Yep, that fire was on me before I could unbuckle my seat belt, I was shocked it was still on, and amazed I was still in my seat. So Iâm off and out like a streak of lightning, but my entire right side is covered in flame. Stop drop and roll donât count for much in those situations, let me tell you. But I find myself near a river and I dive in, quenching the heat. But boy am I in some trouble now, oh ya, right screwed. My entire side is in agony, bleedin none thank the fire for that much, but burnt something fierce, somethingâ real fierce.

So I stumble out of the crash site with as much speed as I can manage, and that ainât much I tell ya. All the while fire is starting to catch on over this little island weâve found ourselves on. We ha! Hell just me! But I stumble out and on toward the beach, well every way is the beach on an island ainât that right Mr. Fontaine? So anyway I make it to that beach which is as clear and beautiful as anything Iâve seen on Godâs green earth. White sand, sparklinâ in the sun, palm trees wavinâ in the breeze, and blue, blue ocean as far as I can see. It was paradise, or would be if it werenât for the agony burnin all down me right side. Now, Iâm no survivor expert, but I know Iâm going to die one way or another. That fire isnât going to be put out by the local fire department. But more importantly thereâs no hospital on this piece of paradise. So, I get to work. I get me some palm leaves that have fallen off them trees and wrap them around my burns and wait.

I must have dozed off in the shade because when I woke it was near dark, and when I passed out it was maybe mid morning, if that. Whatâs that Mr. Fontaine? Oh, this getting a little hard to follow, sorry about that, the drink does that to me, so does this tale. Anyway, where was I, ah yes thank you Mr. Fontaine. Well like I said it was near dark so I tried to get me a little shelter together, you know, muster up what I could with my condition and all. All I managed was a few fallen coconuts for supper, and a bunch of dried palm leaves propped up on sticks and drift wood. I knew I was a goner, I knew it in me very bones Mr. Fontaine. The burns were killing me, and there wasnât a hope in the world for me. You must be amazed I could do so much, well I was too, but the will to live is strong sometimes, ya just gotta want it. Yessir, thatâs all, you just gotta want it. Yep, so I got me a little hidey hole and I slept. Didnât even try to get those coconuts open, I was pretty dead. So I slept the sleep of death that night I did.

When I wake up the next day I see a ship someway out to see, and on the wind I can taste that smoke from the fire the plane started. Well I figure they gotta see it. And boy did I figure right Mr. Fontaine. Yessir, they comes right to where I had my little lean to and whatâs more they bring a medic withâem. Well I was some pleased with that, and they was some shocked to see me. Well They bring me back to their ship, turns out to be a navy carrirer, and fix me right up. Canât do anything about the burns, well not the scarring at least, but whatâs a few scars compared to life, eh Mr. Fontaine?

Well, thatâs the story, all there is, short and sweet. Whatâs that? Oh the flight number? Sure I remember that. Flight 476. Huh, you donât say. Well I suppose youâre right about that. No one did make it off that flight, not alive at least. And never heard tell of my story before? Well, thatâs news to me. But you know Mr. Fontaine, sometimes the will to live is strong sometimes. You just gotta want it.

**Author's Note: Please forgive my unconventional use of the theme. I'll just have to see how you take it.**

Okay, it is over the word limit. By about 200 words... and that's after I removed 300. but there aren't 200 words that I don't want in my story. So... I'll just take the penalty, I guess. It's better than no story at all, right? Unless you give me a negative score...

"At first sight"
By: Aknerd

Before the world was round, before there were huge masses of land, before there was tundra and rainforests and deserts, there was just one island. Just a small hunk of ice frozen in the middle of an endless sea. There was no sun or stars, no cycle of day and night. The sole source of light was the moon, which hung fixed in the black sky. It gave no warmth, and glowed only feebly. Without a horizon, the dark sea floated into eternity. This was the Beginning, when the world never Ended.

The island was alone in the world, but it was not empty. Ancient humans lived on the ice, carving their homes from the snow. They called themselves "Aruuq" - the Solid Ones. Trying to survive despite the eternal darkness, the humans grew to worship the only source of light: the moon. The Aruuq elders believed that they could talk to the moon. They relayed the orders of the moon to the rest of the people, who were perfectly obedient.

All of the moon's orders centered around one central theme: An evil being named Zruuk arrives on the island and will try to destroy the Aruuq way of life. Everything the Aruuq did was designed to combat this invader, from developing countless ceremonies to erecting huge monuments. Eternally grateful to the Elders, the Aruuq commoners never even considered questioning their way of life.

There came to pass a time in which the moon shone more fiercely than it ever had. The people of the island gathered on the highest shore to stare at the moon's majesty. Transfixed by the glowing orb, no one noticed when a stranger appeared in the midst of the crowd. That is, until he spoke:

"I wonder why it never shined so brightly before?"

Taken aback by voice's sheer insolence as to question the moon, the crowd frantically looked around. Finally, a woman saw his unfamiliar face. Making the obvious conclusion, she shouted out:

"Zruuq! Zruuq!"

One by one, all of the Aruuq joined in the cry, calling out the name of their hated enemy. They advanced upon the stranger, closing around him until the most respected elder, Bruuq, softly spoke:

"Hold yet, hear reason."

At once, the mob halted, turning to listen.

"The moon light foretold that Zruuq would come in the form of a stranger. However, it also foretold that the arrival of evil would be paired with an omen. The omen has not yet come."

"But the moon- it has never been so bright! Surely this IS the omen...?"

Bruuq slapped the commoner across the face.

"Idiot. The moon is pure good. By shining brightly, the moon is rewarding us for recognizing and mimicking this good. This man, this stranger, is just another part of this reward. Zruuq will come, eventually, but not now. This is my word, and my word is the moon's word. And do we question the moon's word?"

"No," said the crowd in unison.

"That's right. I deem that the man should live with Cruuq, as a further reward for her hard labor despite her recent loss. Additionally, the man shall be named... Drenka."

And so Drenka came to live among the Aruuq. The old widow Cruuq soon began to think of him as the son she never had. She taught him to fish, to hunt, and, most importantly, to fight Zruuq. Drenka excelled at everything, providing more for the island than any two Aruuq put together

The question of Drenka's origin was forever on the minds of the Aruuq. But no one could get a serious answer from him. He would smile, flash his teeth, and give a little knowing wink before saying something outrageous. In the light of his wit and charm, the fact that he never answered questions went unnoticed. Everyone loved him, most of all Cruuq.

Eventually, Cruuq became so attached to Drenka that she demanded he undergo the Aruuq rite of passage so that he may become a full man. This rite consisted of undergoing deep meditation with the head elder in order to discover one's ideal method for fighting Zruuq. Drenka, for reasons he would not explain, refused to meet with Bruuq. But Cruuq was adamant:

"You have to go. What will everyone think if you don't? Do you want to be a six foot tall boy forever?"

"You're the only one who thinks I'm a boy. I know I'm a man, and therefore I know how to fight Zruuq my own way. I don't need some old man telling me what I already know."

"This 'Old Man' has the divine ability to speak to the moon! He is the only one who can tell you the true way to fight evil.

"So he says."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing."

"If you don't go, I won't love you anymore."

"But... I'm your son."

"If you don't go, I will have no son."

"I can no more bear the thought of having no mother than I can stand the idea of you having no son. We need each more than you think. I will go."

Bruuq stood waiting in the entrance to his snow cave. It was the grandest structure the Aruuq had ever built. Located on top of a mountain on one end of the island, from the mouth of the cave one could look out over the eternal sea. The mountain was formed out of the purest blue-ice; the moon light shone through the whole thing. Given to Bruuq when he successfully steered the Aruuq through a famine, it was his greatest pride.

Walking together, Cruuq and Drenka approached the sacred cave. Drenka felt the familiar apprehension that followed him whenever Bruuq was involved. Bruuq, smiling serenely in his grand doorway, seemed to share none of Drenka's feelings.

"Welcome, Drenka. I had hoped to talk to you again. There is no better way to communicate than when in the throes of communion. Cruuq, I'm going to have to ask you to leave us. This is a private matter, as are all sacred rites."

After Cruuq left, Drenka stared into Bruuq's eyes.

"Do you know?"

"Know what?"

"Nothing, never mind. Let's just do it."

"It isn't a thing one 'just' does, Drenka. This is the most important moment of your entire life. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. Communion with the moon through myself is essential if you won't to become a whole man; a true Aruuq."

"I understand. I assure you, I will take it very seriously."

"That is good."

Bruuq and Drenka sat on the floor of the cave, facing each other. The moon light flowed all around them, removing all shadows. Bruuq gazed upward, allowing the moonlight to enter his eyes. He began the rite as he always did, with his humble speech:

"I come before thee, oh Bright One, and ask that you guide this young soul. He, as with all the Aruuq, seeks to destroy Zruuq. Help us find the way to banish Zruuq from his heart forever, join with us now and show us the way. Drenka, gaze upon the moon with me. Let the light lead you."

Caught by the power of Bruuq's voice, Drenka obeyed.

"You see, oh Wise Moon, that this young man is eager... this... what?"

Bruuq paused for a moment, looking worried.

"The rite was progressing as usual, but then the moon interrupted me. It flashed 'Five fires' into my mind, and then it left. I longer feel the presence of the moon. What happened...? What's a 'fire'?"

Bruuq stared at the moon for a long time before he remembered Drenka. Drenka sat on the cold floor, peacefully watching Bruuq.

"Do you know yet?"

"Know what? What are you talking about?"

"Think."

Without the moonlight to guide him, Bruuq was forced to think for the first time in his life. He thought back over everything the moon had told him or the other elders, trying to remember any mention of the unknown fire. And suddenly, he knew.

"You're Him, aren't you? You're Zruuq, and you made the moon leave us. I'm going to kill you."

"No, not yet."

Drenka, the quickest runner on the Island, flew past Bruuq. He was sliding down the mountain before Bruuq had even stood up. He was halfway across the islands before Bruuq stood at the entrance, yelling:

"Zruuq! Zruuq! There is no Drenka, only Zruuq!"

But Drenka had run past the Aruuq collection of caves before any of the islanders could rouse themselves to attack him. At last, he made it to the end of the island. Here, there was only wasteland, except for one old abandoned cave. He knew he needed something red, something bright, so that the Aruuq would understand. But everything around him was blue, black, or both. This color he could see in his mind glowed with its own light, but no such thing existed in reality.

Behind him, he heard a single pair of footsteps. He turned to confront his pursuer. He saw that it was Cruuq.

"Cruuq. I thought you would be the first to arrive."

"People are saying you're Zruuq. But that can't be true, because I love you. And I can't love Zruuq, because Zruuq is evil, the opposite of love. And the moon said I should love you. But the moon doesn't shine anymore... Drenka... Zruuq... what's happening?"

Drenka looked at Cruuq, and saw within her for the first time. There lie red, a fierce burning red a thousand times brighter than the moon. But more importantly, he saw how to release it into the world.

"Cruuq. There is no need to fear me. All you have to do is hold me."

Cruuq ran towards Drenka, and they embraced. In Drenka's arms, Cruuq glowed brighter and brighter until she burst into flames. The once dark ice lit up beneath their feet, and started to melt. Completely surrounded by fire, Cruuq released Drenka. From her glowing eyes, she looked at Drenka with understanding. While the partial light from the moon had created only confusion, Cruuq's own light revealed everything. With one last look, she turned away from Drenka and ran into the abandoned cave.

From the mouth of the cave a great tongue of fire spewed, touching the sky. Eventually, the flame dwindled, but a spark of light reminded in the sky from where it had been torched. It was small, but it shone fiercely. Drenka knew that Cruuq was gone forever. The rest of the Aruuq caught up with Drenka, surrounding him.

"We got him! We got Zruuq."

"Death to Evil!"

"What's that in the sky? Is it light?"

"It can't be light, because it isn't the moon."

"But it is! Look: I have two shadows."

"But that is impossible."

"WAIT!"

Once again, all turned to look at Bruuq.

"We can't kill him yet. Did none of you notice Cruuq is missing? He obviously killed her. After we kill Zruuq, we rise to the realm of the moon. But Cruuq won't, because she is already dead, and her last rites have not yet been performed. We need to give Cruuq a proper funeral, and then kill her murderer. In the meantime, we'll keep him in the deepest cave. As for this 'light'... there is no light. All light is the moon; the moon is all light."

But while Bruuq was busy performing the last rites for Cruuq's missing body, Drenka was conversing with his prison guard, Druuq. Tucked far away from the moon's light, it was easy to convince Druuq of his own inner luminosity. The mourners returning from the funeral were greeted with the sight of a melted prison, and a second light in the sky. Drenka was no where to be found.

After Druuq's funeral, a third light was spotted in the sky, and Eruuq was found to be missing. Eruuq's funeral ended with an explosion followed by a fourth light. Fruuq, who never made it back to his cave, was in turn given a funeral. His demise was greeted by a fifth light combined with Gruuq's death. Each death was paired with a fire that destroyed a building, progressing in a line from the abandoned cave to Bruuq's grand home.

The combined brilliance of the five lights easily outshined the moon. As Bruuq stood before his people to give Gruuq his rites, he noticed Drenka wading through the crowd.

"There he is! The Murderer! The Zruuq!"

Climbing onto Bruuq's stage, Drenka spoke out unto the Aruuq:

"Listen! Aruuq, the moon is not truth. It has light, but it does not reveal. It merely reflects what we already know. Within us is the real light. Let us not dilute it by viewing it only through the moon. Let us not subscribe to this elder's words, words that only deceive. Let us release our light so that we may all look beyond this frozen island and see reality."

Bruuq silenced Drenka by smashing a brick of ice into the back of his head.

"You want to see? You want more light? All of the light we need the moon provides us. Any more will only lead to madness, to chaos, exactly what Zruuq wants."

Bruuq grabbed Drenka's face in his hands. With his powerful fingers, he tore out Drenka's eyes from his skull.

"You want to see, Zruuq? Let's see how you see now."

Suddenly, Drenka regained consciousness.

"No, Bruuq, I want YOU to see."

And the eyes in Bruuq's hands burst into flames. The fire traveled up his arm, consuming his entire body. Bruuq fought back: He threw one eye as hard as he could into the sky. But it only grew brighter; burning with such fierceness that it drowned out all the other light in the sky. For the first time, the Aruuq could see themselves as they were. And they, too, were consumed by fire as they traveled into the sky. The joined the center of light, giving it energy to chase the moon around the world. For the world WAS round; the new light revealed a curving world, not one that ended in the shadows of the unknown.

Bruuq and eyeless Drenka were all that remained. Still on fire, Bruuq dived into the frozen sea. But the fire would not go out. The sea sprang up in steam and smoke, baring the ocean bed to the open air. So he ran on the sea floor, chasing the fleeing sea. Behind him lay huge tracts of land, the beginnings of continents. Finally, exhausted, Bruuq dug himself into the center of the world, where he would never have to see the light of day. And there he sleeps for eternity.

Drenka, blind but all-seeing, walked calmly away from the island. There was a world to see.

I just had a thought:

Seeing as there are still around three and half hours left, if anyone has any suggestions on which which parts of my story could be left out, I'll be happy to consider it. Otherwise, I'll try to figure something out.

Oh, and I had an idea about how to take off points for going over the limit (I'm not competitive enough to be biased here):

You take the percentage by which they exceed the limit, and subtract that percentage from their score, rounding as needed.

So, if I went 10 percent over the limit (225 words over), my score would be reduced by ten percent. If I would have gotten, say, a five, now I get a 4.5. But If I would have gotten a ten, I get subtracted a full point. The same could be used for going under the lower limit: 80 words under = ten percent off your total score.

If you think that isn't severe enough, you could always double/triple the percentage. This would prevent negative scores.

Sorry for the double post, I just think it's a good idea.

Finally, equality to be had! A 6v6 fight is underway.

[quote=akterd]
I just had a thought:
Seeing as there are still around three and half hours left, if anyone has any suggestions on which which parts of my story could be left out, I'll be happy to consider it. Otherwise, I'll try to figure something out.
Oh, and I had an idea about how to take off points for going over the limit (I'm not competitive enough to be biased here):
You take the percentage by which they exceed the limit, and subtract that percentage from their score, rounding as needed.
So, if I went 10 percent over the limit (225 words over), my score would be reduced by ten percent. If I would have gotten, say, a five, now I get a 4.5. But If I would have gotten a ten, I get subtracted a full point. The same could be used for going under the lower limit: 80 words under = ten percent off your total score.
If you think that isn't severe enough, you could always double/triple the percentage. This would prevent negative scores.
Sorry for the double post, I just think it's a good idea.[/quote]

That is a good idea. Usable in fact

I have completed my entry. I just need to convert special characters in notepad and add BBcode. Be done in ten minutes or so. Please don't kick me out D:

Done. I should just start in notepad.

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The ship shook as another salvo tore into it. Sirens screamed as though no one knew to evacuate. "Nuclear launch detected." said a calm robotic voice. Xzeno was relieved to hear the voice: A nuclear missile was nothing compared to Black Arrow's main cannon. "Enemy main cannon: Armed." the voice added.
"Sonova-" Xzeno swore as he threw himself into an escape pod. He pressed the launch button furiously, sending his pod blasting out of the sinking frigate with a sonic boom. He looked back at the ship as he sped away. From the outside point of view, the battle appeared even more hopeless: Against an orange sky, the canine Frigate fired its few remaining weapons. The long-range beam-cannons sliced at the Black Arrow with surgical precision while the heavy guns sent bolts of energy ripping through space, air, shielding, metal. The sky around the ships flashed brightly with explosions and lasers as the Federal fighters attempted to defend their feeble frigate. The Black Arrow continued its assault: Heavy beam cannons blasted the frigate while missiles needled every hull breach. Xzeno watched as a few devastating nuclear detentions supplemented the conventional missiles. Almost instinctively, Xzeno dissipated the EMPs with his own electromagnetic energy. As the disabled frigate sunk into low orbit, his pod curved upward, ready to fly through space, towards safety, towards Altair. Black Arrow's main gun fired. An explosive flash of light blinded Xzeno. His pod was tossed through the mesosphere as some unseen object struck it. Perhaps shrapnel? Missile. The pod began to fall.

The Captain crawled from the wreckage of his escape pod. He rolled onto his back to rest as soon as he was a safe distance from the burning pod and scorched earth. He would have welcomed sleep, if it weren't for the nagging feeling in the back of his mind telling him that he could not let carefree rest embrace him: He had to do stuff. After uncounted minutes, he sighed and got to his feet. He was in the middle of a forest blue-green plants. Sound of roaring water and cheeping animals pervaded the jungle. He could have waited for the wreckage of his pod to cool off so that he could access the supplies inside, but he suspected the Separatists knew where he crashed, and he was reasonably certain that the Seps would want to interrogate him, and that they had a KOS policy on Federal Rangers in restricted zones, which he thought was rather rude. He elected to walk towards the sound of water.

Soon, he found a stream, which he followed to the base of a somewhat small waterfall. He made his way up the steep hill beside the waterfall, searching for a better vantage point. Across the island, he could seen the burning remains of the frigate towering above the tree analogs. Black and yellow smoke poured from the wreckage and the forest around it: The forest was burning. It was not unexpected, but it did mean he would have to contact the Federation military with haste. He set off towards the crashed ship, knowing that he would find Separatists -- and therefore communication devices -- close by, trying to prevent the entire island from being consumed by fire. He wandered through the thicket, trying to avoid obvious paths so as to evade detection. Soon, he could smell the oddly sweet smell of the burning plants as he pushed through the undergrowth (undergrowth was especially challenging for one of his short stature).
"Halt!" said a voice behind Xzeno. Human. Male. Xzeno looked over his shoulder around to see a man in an unmarked black combat suit, wearing a black helmet complete with breathing apparatus. He was pointing an AK-47 at the alien. As Xzeno whipped around to face the human, he shot a bolt of lightning from his hand, sending the human flying through the air. Xzeno continued to zap his slumped body for a few seconds just to be sure.
"This KOS protocol makes a lot more sense now that I think about it." Xzeno observed, looting the human's body. He acquired a short-range communicator, an employee ID and a nav-com. He considered taking the AK-47, but knew he was better off without it: He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with an assault rifle.
"Too easy." Xzeno remarked, setting the waypoint to a location marked 'base'. "Should have called it Death Temple of Eternal Suffering or something."

Xzeno descended in the slow elevator. He had selected floor eight as his destination, as it was the maximum security clearance his stolen badge would allow. The elevator ground to a halt. Xzeno filled the elevator with a magnetic interference cloud before continuing down a dark, concrete hall. He passed a series of unmarked green doors before taking the fifth one on the left. He stood on a balcony, overlooking a giant machine: Two huge, archaic turbines stood opposite one another, standing on a base of computers and metal. A large, clear tube ran through the base. A dumpster seemingly filled with turnips sat in the corner. All appeared unused, collecting dust. Xzeno shivered and left, closing the door behind him. Xzeno entered another room. He recognized a Federal teleporter sitting in the middle of a circle of mirrors. The mirrors were designed to reflect light from the teleporter onto... Xzeno gasped. A whale's rotting carcass was suspended from the ceiling by hooks. Xzeno decided not to risk the teleporter, instead moving on to a different room. With a sigh of relief, he saw a fairly typical computer, illuminated by a shaft of light, sitting in an otherwise cave-black room. Xzeno booted up the computer, hoping his hacking skills would save him. The computer started without a password, automatically starting Interplanetary Instant Messenger as it powered on. Xzeno signed out of the account of a "dazzard115" and signed into his own IPIM account (fpawdlewadle). He invited Archangel, who was online, to a video chat.
"That was easy." he said as he waited for the buddy to accept the invitation.
"Xzeno! I heard your boat sunk. How's escape pod life?" asked a cheery blue alien over the monitor. Archangel was inside a tent, wearing a coat.
"My escape pod was shot down." he said seriously. The mirth vanished from Archangel's face.
"Where are you?" the blue one demanded.
"Grand Chord, Separatist space. Need rescue." Xzeno barked.
"Grand Chord..." Archangel mused, typing something on the computer. "That's in Separatist restricted space. We can't send ships there."
"What!?" Xzeno demanded. "Since when does the Federation honor those agreements?"
"Since about when Pharaoh's Fist started shelling the hell out of anything with a Federal insignia." Archangel replied.
"Pharaoh's Fist? We were hit by Black Arrow." Xzeno said, confused.
"They must be tightening security." Archangel said, worried. "Anything strange on Grand Chord."
"Yeah. Black ops stuff. Weird stuff. Creepy stuff. They have some turbines, and turnips, and a whale-" Xzeno started.
"What!? Please elaborate, Captain." said a voice behind Archangel. An officer strolled into view.
"I'll tell you all about it in my official report when you get me off of this rock!" Xzeno shouted.
"I'm afraid that's impossible, Captain." the officer explained. "We appreciate your noble sacrifice.
"I'm not even in the' army!" Xzeno shouted, switching off the monitor. He would have to find his own way to escape the island.

He waited impatiently for the elevator to descend. Finally, the elevator doors opened with a ding. Xzeno saw three humans, garbed in black, tapping at their in-helmet comm systems, trying to get them to work. Two held submachine guns limply while another held a triple-barreled shotgun.
"Sweet!" Xzeno exclaimed, firing a bolt of lightning at the shotgun user. He fired a wide cone of lightning, stunning the other two, as he leaped on the downed shotgun man, accosting him with a double-handed zap to the chest. He wretched the shotgun from his grip, shooting one human with a single barrel. He pumped the gun, ejecting a casing, and shot the other human over his shoulder with a triple-barrel blast. He tossed the gun in the air as he stood, catching it by the pump, pumped it, and tossed it back into a natural handhold. He pressed the blood-soaked "G" button on the elevator.

As the doors opened on the ground floor, Xzeno held his shotgun ready. Predictably, a human firing squad was waiting for him. With a shout, he began to squeeze the trigger, hoping to bring down as many humans as possible with him. The gun was knocked upward as he fired, sending shot flying harmlessly over the humans' heads.
"Lights out, dirtbag." said a calm, gravelly voice as unseen hands snapped Xzeno's neck.

Xzeno awoke with a gasp. A helmeted human medic stood over him, sweating slightly.
"What's going- oh, hi Ted." Xzeno exclaimed, sitting up. He was on a metal table in what appeared to be the cargo hold of an attack helicopter. He recognized a human standing in a corner, clad in a black body suit, wearing a tight black mask, pulled up so that it exposed his mouth and stubbly beard. He paused as he brought a cigarette to his lips.
"Hey Xzeno." he said in a gravelly voice. "What'choo been up to?"
"The usual." Xzeno replied. "Just got my neck snapped by some loser."
"That's funny." Ted chuckled. "I just snapped some loser's neck."
"It's good to see you again." Xzeno laughed. Ted remained silent. Minutes passed.
"Where are we going?" Xzeno asked.
"Altair." Ted replied curtly.
"Why are you taking me back?" Xzeno asked.
"Ask David." Ted answered, taking a puff of his cigarette.
"Dave? No way." Xzeno said in astonishment, looking at the medic. "Who else is here?"
"Me." A voice hissed in Xzeno's ear.
"Night Terror." Xzeno confirmed. The canine had been standing next to him the entire time. "What about Rodomontade? Where's she?"
"Dead or dying, I expect." Ted answered with a puff of smoke. "Crazy-" Ted swore, throwing his cigarette on the ground and stamping it out.
"She never liked you either." Xzeno mused.
"It wasn't me me she didn't like, just what I could do." Ted corrected.
"More what she couldn't do." Xzeno stated. Ted said nothing to this; as always, the ghost's thoughts were his own.
"Did they put out the island?" Xzeno asked.
"Easily." David answered. "This stuff is fairly routine. They wouldn't let an island burn."

TWO YEARS LATER

"..and that, kids, is how I escaped from Grand Chord before the rock vapor from the crash escaped and burned the entire planet to ash." Xzeno concluded too cheerily. The students were silent.
"That wasn't particularly informative." one piped up.

Meanwhile, the ashes of Grand Chord were stirred once again by a rubber hand.