Welcome to Slap the Cheese, a cheese-slapping game where you slap cheese.
HOW TO PLAY
1. Generate a Cheese if the cheese is dead by rolling d4 for hardness 1 = 10 HP = Soft 2 = 50 HP = Medium 3 = 100 HP = Hard 4 = 500 HP = Brick!
2. Update the cheese HP.
Optional: Narrate the above poster's action.
3. Roll d20 for Slap Damage.
Fortunately the cheese had landed far away from the actual shuttle, suffering only residual damage and being blown harmlessly into a puddle.
Mold Cheese: 375/500
The puddle is close to a bridge, under which there lives a troll. Curious, the troll goes to investigate the cheese; and by "investigate" I mean smash it with its club. TrollSmash = 14
The "investigation" yeilded disappointing results. Despite the troll's patented brutal methods of inquisition, the cheese refuses to reveal its secrets.
Mold Cheese: 361/500
The troll, now bored with its quarry, eats the cheese. Buuuuurp = 13!