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Gantic
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Gantic
11,895 posts
King

Welcome to Slap the Cheese, a cheese-slapping game where you slap cheese.

HOW TO PLAY
1. Generate a Cheese if the cheese is dead by rolling d4 for hardness
1 = 10 HP = Soft
2 = 50 HP = Medium
3 = 100 HP = Hard
4 = 500 HP = Brick!
2. Update the cheese HP.
Optional: Narrate the above poster's action.
3. Roll d20 for Slap Damage.

EXAMPLE
Gantic: I make Gantic Cheese. 1d4=1

Player 1: Gantic makes a soft Gantic cheese.
Gantic Cheese: 10/10 HP
I slap Gantic Cheese. 1d20=2

Player 2: Player 1 lightly slaps Gantic cheese.
Gantic Cheese: 8/10 HP
I slap Gantic Cheese. 1d20=5

START
I make White Rabbit Cheese. White_Rabbit_Cheese = 4

DICE RESULTS
1 = 1d4
2 = 1d20
5 = 1d20
4 = White_Rabbit_Cheese
  • 2,479 Replies
sciller45
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sciller45
2,632 posts
Justiciar

You split the cheese, but part of it manages to form into a small, barely-alive cube of cheese.

Inky Cheese: 3/10

I StepOnTheCheese = 13

DICE RESULTS
13 = StepOnTheCheese
Hunter902
offline
Hunter902
242 posts
Scribe

You step on the cheese and it just leaks out brie-like goo.

I Mold = 4 the ever-flowing Brie into a new cheese
Edit: Wow the highest cheese, must be hard to hit since it is almost a liquid

DICE RESULTS
4 = Mold
charlesjoseph
offline
charlesjoseph
287 posts
Herald

the brick mold cheese forms

mold cheese: 500/500

i use a Brick_breaker = 17 on the cheese

DICE RESULTS
17 = Brick_breaker
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

It's super-effective!

Mold Cheese: 483/500

I summon a Zombie = 2to eat the cheese's BRAAAINS!

DICE RESULTS
2 = Zombie
charlesjoseph
offline
charlesjoseph
287 posts
Herald

as it turns out it is hard to eat brains when is there is no brains.

mold cheese 481/500

i Tap = 6 the cheese

DICE RESULTS
6 = Tap
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

The cheese simply flows around your hand.

Mold Cheese: 475/500

I throw the cheese from an airplane. ParachueFailure = 8

DICE RESULTS
8 = ParachueFailure
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

The parachute failure failed... WELL!

Mold Cheese: 467/500

I drop the cheese into the depths of the Mariana Trench.THE_BENDS = 9!

DICE RESULTS
9 = THE_BENDS
charlesjoseph
offline
charlesjoseph
287 posts
Herald

It takes good damage from the deep

Mold Cheese: 458/500

I Throw = 13 the cheese at the sun

DICE RESULTS
13 = Throw
sciller45
offline
sciller45
2,632 posts
Justiciar

You throw the cheese at the sun. It misses, but not before the sun simultaneously melting and encrusting a part of the space Brie. One day, that part shall end up on the moon, and we can truly say. "The moon is (partially) made of cheese".

Crusty, Moldy Cheese: 445/500

Well, I guess the Cheese is up there somewhere in space now. Nothing much to do, but to wait a few weeks and. Hey wait, it's been a few weeks. Even more so! The cheese ought-a return from orbit now!
I watch the Cheese as it CrashesIntoEarth = 15

DICE RESULTS
15 = CrashesIntoEarth
addQuest
offline
addQuest
29 posts
Jester

As you watch the cheese fall, you start to wonder why it seems to be getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit you! Your head is very hard so the cheese took good damage.

Mold Cheese: 430/500

After the cheese hit you, it also turned out that you have a very bouncy head as well. So bouncy that it bounced all the way to Mars where the Martians mistook it for a government spaceship and blasted it with their [roll 1d20 Martian Death Laser!]

sciller45
offline
sciller45
2,632 posts
Justiciar

Ah, no worries...

MartianDeathLaser = 4

DICE RESULTS
4 = MartianDeathLaser
sciller45
offline
sciller45
2,632 posts
Justiciar

Dang. Turns out, the MartianDeathLaser works on Carbon and Silicon-based life, but not on lactose based life (like the cheese). It does have quite a bit of force behind it, though, so it pushes the cheese back into the solar system.

Mold Cheese: 426/500

Now that the cheese is stuck somewhere in the solar system, I use the favor Elon Musk owes me to contact Starman and have him throw the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy he has in his glovebox in just the right way to redirect the Brie BackToEarthOrbit = 19

DICE RESULTS
19 = BackToEarthOrbit
meaosome
offline
meaosome
155 posts
Scribe

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy managed to hit the MOLDY BRIE BRICK in just the right direction that it came rocketing back to Earth. Elon Musk considers sciller45's debt REPAID IN FULL WITH A CHERRY ON TOP and kindly asks you to return the cherry on some later occasion. In doing so, the cheese just so happened to hit my PREMIUM DEPLETED URANIUM LAUNDROMAT, and due to the toughness of the material as well as the rigors of re-entry taking MASSIVE DAMAGE which is very slightly undermined by landing in the laundry of a VERY UNFORTUNATE PERSON[link removed].

Mold Cheese: 407/500

Surprisingly, the pile of laundry the brie happened to land in was directly adjacent to the MASSIVE SHELVES OF FABRIC SOFTENER which has since spilled and pooled around the moldy brick causing the infernal cheese to SOFTEN_ANTICLIMACTICALLY = 19

DICE RESULTS
19 = SOFTEN_ANTICLIMACTICALLY
HahiHa
offline
HahiHa
8,214 posts
Regent

For some reason, the fabric softener also appears to make the soft cheese even softer, almost silky smooth! It does loose a bit of consistency in the process.

Mold Cheese: 388/500

I throw the pile of laundry out in the back yard, where two crows craw "Ya, ya, so nice, so smooth!" and pick up the cheese in exchange for a slab of stone.
CrowBeak = 10

DICE RESULTS
10 = CrowBeak
meaosome
offline
meaosome
155 posts
Scribe

The crows go at the hunk of brie, making a few good dents in its not so solid exterior. Despite their best efforts to eat it, the cheese remains fairly intact.

Mold Cheese: 378/500

The crows also happen to be poisoned by the fabric softener. They die and cause the nest to tip and fall onto the mobile launcher platform for Elon Musk's new space shuttle, the Curdler X. Elon initiates the launch sequence none the wiser, and the cheese is blasted by the Liftoff = 3.

DICE RESULTS
3 = Liftoff
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