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Gantic
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Gantic
11,895 posts
King

Welcome to Slap the Cheese, a cheese-slapping game where you slap cheese.

HOW TO PLAY
1. Generate a Cheese if the cheese is dead by rolling d4 for hardness
1 = 10 HP = Soft
2 = 50 HP = Medium
3 = 100 HP = Hard
4 = 500 HP = Brick!
2. Update the cheese HP.
Optional: Narrate the above poster's action.
3. Roll d20 for Slap Damage.

EXAMPLE
Gantic: I make Gantic Cheese. 1d4=1

Player 1: Gantic makes a soft Gantic cheese.
Gantic Cheese: 10/10 HP
I slap Gantic Cheese. 1d20=2

Player 2: Player 1 lightly slaps Gantic cheese.
Gantic Cheese: 8/10 HP
I slap Gantic Cheese. 1d20=5

START
I make White Rabbit Cheese. White_Rabbit_Cheese = 4

DICE RESULTS
1 = 1d4
2 = 1d20
5 = 1d20
4 = White_Rabbit_Cheese
  • 2,479 Replies
Planetary189
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Planetary189
102 posts
Nomad

Okay, finally. I make a forum post cheese containing words!
[roll 1d4 Forum Post Cheese]

charlesjoseph
offline
charlesjoseph
287 posts
Herald

missed roll so ill reroll for you[roll 1d4 forum post cheese]

charlesjoseph
offline
charlesjoseph
287 posts
Herald
DICE RESULTS
1 = 1d4
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

A tiny digital cheese materializes. [btw, you can't put spaces in the dice name]

Forum Post Cheese: 10/10

I initiate the ritual of ReportingThePost = 9 to summon a Mod, wielding the mighty BANHAMMER!

DICE RESULTS
9 = ReportingThePost
sciller45
offline
sciller45
2,632 posts
Justiciar

You hear someone's hiccups. As you look behind your back, you see UnleashedUponMankind, strutting about drunk and debating the existence of God. He edits the forum post cheese and warns the cheese not to spam. Then, he and Nichodemus walk away, singing bar songs.

Forum Post Cheese: 1/10

I enter the page's source code and write a "Hello world!" Program = 4

DICE RESULTS
4 = Program
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

Watch it, Sciller. But your program finishes the job: the Forum Post Cheese glitches out and disappears forever.

I summon Mod_Cheese = 1!

DICE RESULTS
1 = Mod_Cheese
charlesjoseph
offline
charlesjoseph
287 posts
Herald

a weak mod Cheese appears

i simply reply to it, telling it to leave.
Reply = 7

DICE RESULTS
7 = Reply
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

The mod cheese can't believe you would have the audacity to tell it to leave its own forum! It is seriously hurt.

Mod Cheese: 3/10

I go over the Mod's head and initiate the even more complex ritual to summon the almighty AdminTeam = 9 with the SUPREME BANHAMMER! HAHAHAHAHA! (Sorry, got carried away there.)

DICE RESULTS
9 = AdminTeam
charlesjoseph
offline
charlesjoseph
287 posts
Herald

your SUPREME_BANHAMMER = 2 thinks you need him and cant defend. He turns into a cheese

DICE RESULTS
2 = SUPREME_BANHAMMER
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

Okay, so I'm assuming you just made Supreme Banhammer Cheese. Interesting.

Supreme Banhammer Cheese: 50/50

In that case, I drop a Bulldozer = 18 on top of it.

DICE RESULTS
18 = Bulldozer
charlesjoseph
offline
charlesjoseph
287 posts
Herald

who knew hammers were weak to bulldozers?

Supreme Banhammer Cheese: 50/50

i do a 1_mm_slap = 13 on the cheese

DICE RESULTS
13 = 1_mm_slap
Hunter902
offline
Hunter902
242 posts
Scribe

You hit the cheese with all the strength of a hand and break a toe in the process.

Supreme Banhammer Cheese: 37/50

I hit the cheese with My_LAMP = 9

DICE RESULTS
9 = My_LAMP
charlesjoseph
offline
charlesjoseph
287 posts
Herald

the cheese takes medium fire damage.

Supreme Banhammer Cheese: 10/50 (-18 bulldozer, - 13 1mm slap, - 9 lamp)

i use Statistics = 10 i gathered to make it think it will survive another turn

DICE RESULTS
10 = Statistics
Hunter902
offline
Hunter902
242 posts
Scribe

You destroyed the Supreme Banhammer Cheese and in turn it turns into a regular Banhammer_Cheese = 3

DICE RESULTS
3 = Banhammer_Cheese
charlesjoseph
offline
charlesjoseph
287 posts
Herald

you make a hard banhammer cheese: 100/100

i use quik maths to say it takes 8 turns to kill it 1d20=5

DICE RESULTS
5 = 1d20
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