Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to the 2nd Armor Games User Awards! I'm your host, Clancy.
It's been overdue for like 3 weeks now due to a certain mysterious disappearance, but it's time to post the final results! We've had laughs, we've had tears, and we've had some cringe worthy moments...
This year we saw many more categories and therefore many more winners! An outstanding 91 different users were nominated for an award.
Let's start off with Best Veteran!
A true vet that fought for his country, deservest he metal of honor from the scars he obtained during the war.
The winner is @nichodemus!
Most Mature
Indeed, these are the people we look up to, to supply us with rated R and 18+ magazines and movies. They're the ones that will give us bountiful wisdoms of advice for picking up girls and cheating on tests alike.
With barely any competition, @Patrick2011 wins!
Most Helpful
If you've got a problem and need assistance, who you gonna call? Well if GhostBusters are out of service, this person would most likely be your second option.
@Ferret didn't have any trouble coming in first here, although @MrDayCee earned a solid second place!
Best Female Member
I thought girls weren't real on the internet? Well except for pang of course. Regardless, this person has been awarded for being the best at skipping in flower fields and having periods.
We all knew who would win this before the completion even started, congratulations to @StormWalker for her second consecutive win!
Best New Member
The person who best fills the shoes left by the vets, and the ones that are undeterred by piked heads and poisonous cookies. Indeed, not only surviving but even going on to post regularly? A feat worthy of an award!
The voting started with evenly split between apldeap123, and JACKinbigletters. In the end, the award goes to @JACKinbigletters!
Most Famous
Always walking around on red carpet, surrounded by paparazzi, and always recognized by anybody who's anybody, the celebrities of the forums have no time for commoners like us. They're too busy being stars of AG High and having their face plastered on billboards. Whether they're recognized for being helpful, active, part of the staff, or just plain poisoning baked goods, these people deserve an award for their immense prestige and Hollywood fame.
This award has always been held tightly by @Ferret, but this year one user was able to surpass him. Give it up for @R2D21999!
Best Staff Member
Behind every good man is a good woman. Behind every good forumer is a good staff member. The only difference is you can't make out with a staff member. Well, maybe the person receiving this award would. Helpful, kind, and always snooping in your business like the little nosy ferret he is... *cough*. Without the staff members, the forums wouldn't be what they are today. We're just acknowledging one part of the whole pie.
Many didn't see this result coming (including my speech writer), @boppins is the winner! Thanks to all the staff for your dedicated work for Armor Games!
Most Controversial
Is God real? Opinions on the Middle Eastern war? Is gravity real? IS THE EARTH FLAT? WAS THE MOON LANDING FAKED? WHY ARE MY TWO HANDS BOTH LEFT HANDED?!? These are the questions that nobody but the controversial ask. And, quite understandably, they can get a rise out of people to create the most heated of arguments. Just don't start saying that Vanilla ice cream is better than Chocolate. Because then we'll have to fight.
We seemed to have a consensus here, @MattEmAngel is the victor!
Best Threads
Boogers, Restrooms, and Weird Ways to Die, Oh my! Whether it be threads of incredible thought that provokes insightful arguments, or those that ask you what your favorite color is, this award goes to the person who has made the best and most interesting topics to talk about throughout the forums, or the most exciting forum games on the internet.
One of the clearest wins of the competition, three cheers for @Gantic!
Best Writer
The Stephen Kings, Mark Twains, and JD Salingers of the forums. Stories of dragons saving knights from fire breathing princesses are told around campfires and over a pint of beer when such people make their presence. The AMW wouldn't be the same without them, and we're glad to be graced with their clever wordplay and crude fart jokes.
A split vote between R2D21999 and Nurvana, it wasn't until a last second vote that the tie was settled and @R2D21999 become the most popular writer on AG.
Most Creative
Creatively creating creations are what these people do. Armed with a box of their 64 pack of crayola crayons complete with crayon sharpener and a worn beret, nothing can stop these people from beautifying the world with their endless ideas and immense *gestures rainbow* IMAGINATION. This person deserves recognition for helping AG avoid 'fitting the mold' and be a special snowflake.
No clear decision was reached here. StormWalker and R2D21999 each tied for second place. Now please give your felicitations to our joint-winners: @MrDayCee and @Koshionos!
Nicest
They're the kind of people that would say sorry for even the slightest thing. I'm half convinced the person who won this award is Canadian! The kinds of people who do all the little things to help out, such as holding doors for you or helping old ladies cross streets. Boy scouts by day, homeless shelter volunteers by night, they're the people who're just to nice to tell you when you're being loud and obnoxious to shut up.
Our defending champion of niceness, @MrDayCee scored the gold once again.
Wisest
Through years of experience, they've come to realize life's greatest mysteries. For example, what hotdogs are made out of. With withered old bodies like raisins and weary voices telling you to 'get off their lawn', youngsters these days would do good to listen to their lifes-worth of advice. If this is not a compelling reason, at least listen to them because of this; They've probably taken more dumps than you.
No one can compete with him when it comes to brains, @Moegreche takes the cake for this award.
Most Likely To Murder Everyone On AG
Stabby Stabby Stabby! Better hide under your bed sheets little kiddies! *licks knife* AG isn't always fun and games, you know! Watch behind your backs... don't go into suspicious alleys, and most definitely do not leave your door unlocked... for you might find something sharp in your back when you go to sleep... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *cough*
Lookout everyone, if you see @StormWalker with a bottle of ketchup, run for your lives!
Craziest
Twitching ever so incessantly, these people are ones you find locked up in AG's secret insane asylum. Whoops, not so much a secret anymore. Hallucinating 24/7 and talking about how they're going to reveal 'the porcupine's cooking recipes', these people are a bit... out of it. And is it really a coincidence that the person who's most likely to murder us all... is also the craziest? *licks lips*
Is this really any different than the last one? @StormWalker wins her third award of the year!
Meanest
They kick puppies, poison cookies, pike heads, and punch old people. 'Stealing candy from a baby' was a saying made up by these people because they've actually done it! They're grumpy and have an angry face all the time to intimidate you, and if that wasn't enough, they're the type of people to poop in the toilet at your house and not even flush! Ugh! It's safe to say, with all the rotten personalities that inhabit AG, this person is one of the most rotten! He's a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
Nobody seems to be sure quite who the meanest user is, or else they just can't decide whose the meanest of them all! Hats off to @pangtongshu, the meanest guy around. R2D21999, StormWalker, pickpocket, and UnleashedUponMankind are all runners up for second!
Best Armatar
The AG custom avatars that the denizens of Armoria wear. From slendermans to shields, these images are what people are associated with, their personas, per se. Some are unicorns, dinosaurs, ferrets, moons, deers, knights, and many more. Needless to say, there can only be one person who is iconic among all of these people.
That icon is, of course, the unicorn! Put your hands together for @boppins!
Most Emotional
Mood swings that change faster than ditto in pokemans, these are the people that have uncontrollable emotions, most of them resulting in a puddle of tears, regret, and a lot of messy and suspicious liquids... Give the person who wins this award a hug and a tissue, they need it. liek dis if u cri evertim ;-;
Nobody is as well know for their frequent breakdowns as @Omegap12! Hopefully this will bring you a smile!
Best Username
From @MorganFreeman to @Stinky, these usernames, whether they make you laugh, cry, angry, sad, or are just plain weird, stick out among the rest. With competition like @JayLeno and @Doge it's been a rough decision deciding the best username. But alas, the dirty stinky half literate peasants of the Amoria Kingdom have made their decision.
Nothing shouts "best username" then one that gets cut off when you post! @TheMostManlyMan wins this one easily!
Humorous
What do you call bees that make milk? BOO BEES! So I asked my North Korean friend how his life was going. He said "can't complain". How many potatoes does it take to kill the Irish? None. Did you hear about the hairdresser? She dyed. What did the bartender say to the two clowns? "Hey, none of your funny business in here!" How does a... *gets boo'd off the stage*
Though ties abound in this category, one user shines above the rest. Lets hear a hip, hip, hurrah for @Riptizoid101!
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User Of The Year
It's been an exciting year folks. As we get ready to max our gains as we do heavy squats, and prepare for the spring cleaning and the celebration of birthdays and holidays, we look back on the year and think: What happened to all my bodily wastes? Like those nails you clipped, the poops you've taken, where do they all go? Is there like a... bodily waste heaven? Or something? Maybe there's a bodily waste Jesus that goes "Pees be with you"? I'd like to think that, at least. Anyhow, all the memories we've made, all the people we've met, all the things we've done... they're not a waste. They're part of us now and will continue to be part of us as we make new memories, meet new people, and do new things. AG has been wonderful, and so have the people within it. And at the end of the day, it's not about the awards. Because we're all winners. Excuse the cheesy lines, but it's true. And at the end of the day as we stare at ourselves in the mirror, we must ask ourselves the most fundamental of questions: Where do babies come from? Now without further ado, the winner of the user of the year award.
Congratulations to the champions @R2D21999 and @UnleashedUponMankind for whatever they did to earn this prestigious award!
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But wait! We can't forget the thread awards!
Thread of the Year: Count to 100
Funniest Thread: AG High
Best Old Thread: You're Banned
Best Died Thread: What Grinds Your Gears?
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This concludes the 2014 ArmorGames User and Thread Awards!
Thanks to @Riptizoid101, my hardworking and perseverant speech writer.
