This goes in a different direction that the other discipline topic, in that I would like to focus on children instead of adults. Where do you think the line should be drawn? Is spanking a child OK?
I was reading an article recently on a boy who was poisoning his family. When they family found out, one of his relatives punched the boy, and another locked him in a cage for a few hours. The who cage part I disagree with, that is not acceptable. However, the relative who hit the child was also getting charges against him. Granted I would not punch a child, and I am against child abuse, but I couldn't help but think 'I probably would have smacked the kid too'.
So I was wondering, when do you think the line is crossed? Does it depend on the offense? If it is an adult crime, do they deserve to be punished as an adult?
If your going to spank a kid, or hit them for discipline, you need to tell them what they did wrong. Unfortunately, what I just said would be a perfect world. Physical punishment needs to be applied in large families, or for bad kids. Talking does nothing. Grounding helps, but it doesn't get a point across. I've been through the two extremes. Talking does nothing as it gets repetitive and eventually the kid realizes he can get away with things with little or no punishment. Harsh words are not necessary either, but more of a combination of physical punishment, a little chat and grounding make a perfect combo. Never using one more than the others. I've been through borderline child abuse, repetitive talks everyday, and grounding for months on end. None worked, so my parents tried different combos and found one when I was 14. Now I'm actually hard working, decent person. A far cry from my previous days.
And I take it your glad, really I don't know how kids be bad from the beginning, gene I'd say but discipline can be done that way very effectively but even better - Martial Arts, it provides plenty of discipline, fitness and after disagreement on something your child will defend itself, over a period of time it'll kick in, I do Taekwondo, but really you need to be Blue Belt+ for it to naturally kick in for a fight or sparring, in the end you need to lay down the EXACT BORDERS for your child, but you also need to listen to both sides, of course in their early days they'll probably lie, but in the end you have to do it to both, if none fesses up anyway
That kid has issues poisoning his family, probably needs to go away somewhere for a while. When it comes to discipline, there's nothing wrong with spanking a kid when they do something that warrants it, but there's a difference between spanking or a slap accross the head and a punch or something like that.
I disagree with physical discipline. You'll find that trying to slap someone anywhere else, for almost any reason, could end up giving you a lawsuit and assault charges. Is it really any different for children just because we're younger and they're our parents? If that's the justification, how they're responsible for us, how are we any different than pampered slaves? Physical discipline may seem effective in the short term, but in the long term its more likely to create harmful problems. You may be able to slap around a child when they're young, but what happens when they start to view that as acceptable? They're several studies that suggest using physical discipline leads to abuse later on by those who where disciplined. Quite simply, in modern times that's really not the way to resolve an issue.
I disagree with physical discipline. You'll find that trying to slap someone anywhere else, for almost any reason, could end up giving you a lawsuit and assault charges.
Really mate? Here's how I'll tackle this - If you hit someone because they done something wrong that's wrong, you should point it out, if it's a big thing then I say do it, the law should be changed, alot - No self defence or anything, so you can be beaten the crap out of and THEN you report it? No! It's stupid, in the end you should do what you can to stop people doing this, hitting a child for the wrong thing and telling them that only these reasons will apply as long as you do it EVERY TIME, telling them but then not again will make them think it's a minor problem, thus could make them abusive for no reason... Think about it, cover every edge and corner...
Really mate? Here's how I'll tackle this - If you hit someone because they done something wrong that's wrong, you should point it out, if it's a big thing then I say do it, the law should be changed, alot - No self defence or anything, so you can be beaten the crap out of and THEN you report it? No! It's stupid, in the end you should do what you can to stop people doing this, hitting a child for the wrong thing and telling them that only these reasons will apply as long as you do it EVERY TIME, telling them but then not again will make them think it's a minor problem, thus could make them abusive for no reason... Think about it, cover every edge and corner...
We're not allowed to defend ourselves in schools until two punches have been thrown. Do I have a problem with this? Yeah, but that's the rule they have in place, and by school rules I can be punished for that. If I find myself in that situation, I'm not going to wait for the second punch, and forget the consequences. Still, how does self defense relate to disciplining children? I'm having trouble understanding the rest of what you said, but I think I get some of it. I'm completely against physical disciplining, so you're argument about only hitting a child once and then not doing it again as a weak form of discipline really has nothing to do with my post. They're different ways of disciplining a child that are effective. It doesn't take physical violence to make them stop doing something
I see nothing wrong with disciplining your children physically when they deserve it. My dad did that to me when I was younger and it taught me not to do stupid crap, I was more afraid of getting hit then grounded so I would think certain things through a little bit more then if I had known I was just going to get grounded or put into time out. You can make it so its painful enough for it to stick in their heads without going too far.
Trying to teach someone that something is wrong by means of fear and physical pain is just wrong, in my thoughts. I was never punished that way mainly because i am smart enough to know what the effects of my actions are, and my parents also feel the way i feel about physical discipline. But even if i couldn't, or they would've believed differently, i would probably still think it would be wrong. i can imagine being a defenseless kid and that everytime that i did something wrong, i would be physically punished right on the spot and even if i tried to apologize or make my wrongs right, the parent would believe that every time they would hit their kid it would be for their own good. The thought just tears me up.
Yeah spanking is O.K. as long as it's done by the parent/guardian and not in a way that would extremely damage a child, not done regularly, and DEFINITELY not without reason. That last one right there is called child abuse ladies and gentlemen. Just a few smacks on the bottom when they do something wrong. Although I would hope that it was something big. And not in school. That's where I draw the line. Spanking is for home. We have detention, Juvenile Hall, suspension, expulsion, and office referrals for school.
I believe disciplining children when they do something bad is good. It builds respect and teaches them what is right. Just like the carrot and the stick, the child will want to do good and move towards the carrot, rather than do bad and move towards the stick.
How about completely removing the notion that we should physically harm children for ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. Why not raise the child showing constant love and attention and with additional praise for good deeds, etc. If and when said child does something "wrong," inform them that they have done so and shun them for a while. Do not give them the same kind of encouragement as before until they realize the impacts of whatever they did and try to make up for it.
I believe disciplining children when they do something bad is good. It builds respect and teaches them what is right. Just like the carrot and the stick, the child will want to do good and move towards the carrot, rather than do bad and move towards the stick.
No, it builds fear, not respect. The carrot and the stick is applied to a stick with a carrot at the end, not two separate objects, and the idea is that the carrot can never be obtained since the stick is attached to the person, and as they move the carrot and stick move with them... That's beside the point. A child won't move towards whats right, they simply avoid whats wrong, or at least getting caught. Teaching them whats right, now with physical violence, will be more beneficial if you instead try and prevent them from doing something bad, instead of hitting them each time they do something wrong and they learn not to do that specific thing. Teaching morals is more important than teaching fear
