Forums → WEPR → Disciplining Children

Teaching morals is more important than teaching fear

No, it builds fear, not respect. The carrot and the stick is applied to a stick with a carrot at the end, not two separate objects, and the idea is that the carrot can never be obtained since the stick is attached to the person, and as they move the carrot and stick move with them...
That's beside the point. A child won't move towards whats right, they simply avoid whats wrong, or at least getting caught. Teaching them whats right, now with physical violence, will be more beneficial if you instead try and prevent them from doing something bad, instead of hitting them each time they do something wrong and they learn not to do that specific thing. Teaching morals is more important than teaching fear

No, it builds fear, not respect. The carrot and the stick is applied to a stick with a carrot at the end, not two separate objects, and the idea is that the carrot can never be obtained since the stick is attached to the person, and as they move the carrot and stick move with them...

Let's put it this way. When a dog pisses on your nice new rug for your living room, you get mad. What do you do? You don't sit down and say what they did was wrong, you give them a nice slap on the arse and yell at them. This sends a message that what they did was wrong, and they won't do it again for some time (Only because dogs need to make mistakes three or four times to learn from them). That's how you make anything work right. Negative reinforcement for bad, positive for good. If use one or the other only, they won't be able to learn each one as separate things. For instance, if they steal a quarter from your coin collection, you spank them. If they get good grades you praise them and give them a reward.

For instance, if they steal a quarter from your coin collection, you spank them. If they get good grades you praise them and give them a reward.

discipline =/= respect.

Nuff said.

yea well I respect my dad, I was raised on corporeal punishment, I learn that it hurts my dad just as much as me for him to beat me when I do wrong.

Let's put it this way. When a dog pisses on your nice new rug for your living room, you get mad. What do you do? You don't sit down and say what they did was wrong, you give them a nice slap on the arse and yell at them.

Actually beating a child after they did something wrong instead of a BS grounding (I have never been grounded before (hint hint)) The child learns that it is not the right thing to do. True, it does build a sense of fear, fear for doing wrong. That is why most high performance minorities do so well in school and in society. Almost every Chinese family I know, have beaten their children when they did something bad, even many other white families also beat their children. If kids are only grounded, they will forget it as soon as it is over or they can get their "fix" of television or games at a friend's house. Turns out that the children who were beaten when they did something bad goto great colleges and universities. Because not only are they morally good (scared of doing wrong as you call it) They are also academically sound (scared of messing up as you would call it).

I'm one of the top students in most of my classes, solid A/B average even in those that I'm not so good in, yet I'm never been physically disciplined. I taught myself a lot of morals, and while some people may be unable to do this, physical discipline shouldn't be used as a fix for everything. Besides, they aren't morally good, their own internal morals are still there, they just don't follow them out of fear. Someone put it pretty well, as soon as that authority figure disappears that discipline disappears. Should we have a generation of kids going through their life doing the right thing only because they're scared? What happens if that fear dissipates? If a child is raised to understand the correct morals, not just to ignore bad choices, they're much more likely to be a stable member of society for a longer time.

Let's put it this way. When a dog pisses on your nice new rug for your living room, you get mad. What do you do? You don't sit down and say what they did was wrong, you give them a nice slap on the arse and yell at them. This sends a message that what they did was wrong, and they won't do it again for some time (Only because dogs need to make mistakes three or four times to learn from them). That's how you make anything work right. Negative reinforcement for bad, positive for good. If use one or the other only, they won't be able to learn each one as separate things. For instance, if they steal a quarter from your coin collection, you spank them. If they get good grades you praise them and give them a reward.

Mmm, way to analyze the current generation of youth as dogs. Besides, you're basing this claim upon a language barrier, in which case Humans resort to violence when lacking another means of enforcing their ideas, and confident that they won't be struck back.

discipline =/= respect.

Nuff said.

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Really though. Children are smarter than dogs (many kids are still dumb as sh*t, though > &gt so the pure concept of negative/positive reinforcement doesn't work. You need to remember that children aren't really trained- we're taught. And most violent discipline teaches children to fear going wrong- it doesn't teach children how to learn from their mistakes, it just teaches them that making mistakes will bring pain and suffering. Also, if either of my parents tried to physically discipline me, I'd hit back.

I'd hit back.

Haha, I don't think my parents would even try seeing how I'm bigger than both of them, outweigh them considerably, and my music scares them, but I have the same mentality. Eventually, kids will strike back, just like dogs, except we have a lower tolerance level.