This goes in a different direction that the other discipline topic, in that I would like to focus on children instead of adults. Where do you think the line should be drawn? Is spanking a child OK?
I was reading an article recently on a boy who was poisoning his family. When they family found out, one of his relatives punched the boy, and another locked him in a cage for a few hours. The who cage part I disagree with, that is not acceptable. However, the relative who hit the child was also getting charges against him. Granted I would not punch a child, and I am against child abuse, but I couldn't help but think 'I probably would have smacked the kid too'.
So I was wondering, when do you think the line is crossed? Does it depend on the offense? If it is an adult crime, do they deserve to be punished as an adult?
I really think it depend on the offense just like you said, because if a kid draws on the walls or something small you'll just puisnh them very lightly like put him in timeout or for older kids ground them, but if the kid shoots a realative you wont just ground them the consequence should be much bigger.
I'm also against child abuse but in some cases there is nothing better to teach a kid a lesson then a good spanking.I can realte to this haha.
Oh and for the "if it's an adult crime" i think it depends on the age. If its a little boy not knowing what he's doing then no, but if the kid is near being a grown person then yes because they actually know better.
Yeah that is a very serious thing. It's like attempeted murder, which is a crime that should be taken very seriously and that kid should be punished very severely.
I would say that, when it comes to children, most discipline could be done without any physical violence. I think that you can explain to child what they did wrong, put them in time-out, take away their privileges, etc. There are too many alternitives when it comes to discipline to go straight for "hit them". Eh, perhaps it is just wishful thinking.
I was spanked and hit in the mouth when I was younger. It was never to the point that I was harmed, it was just painful. I don't have any hard feelings towards my parents about that, but I do think it could have been dealt with without hitting me.
And yes, poisoning drinks does seem more like an adult offense (the elaborateness of it), but that doesn't mean that he has the reasoning of an adult. Also it said that he was being treated for mental health issues. That may mean that his reasoning abilities (a 10 year old's at that) were distorted.
I think that the severity of the punishment depends of the offender. Young and old, children can do horrendous things; their punishment should be based on their intent and their ability to distinguish right from wrong.
True, I do not think that hitting solves any issues. However, when I was young my parents would use spanking, only on serious offenses. It was never hard enough to do any damage of course, but it definitely made me learn my lesson, a lot more than just 'go to your room!' would.
The only person who ever really hit me as a kid was my older brother, and that's just what they do... lol. But I certainly hated him for it. I think that if someone strikes their child that they will just end up resenting them more than actually learning a lesson.
Yes, "go to your room" probably won't get the message across, but sitting the child down and explaining what they did wrong might.
It is just another way of learning something. You don't learn math by being hit when you do it wrong (hopefully not), someone explains what you did wrong and how to do it right. The same thing applies: when a child does something wrong, sit them down and explain what they did wrong and what the right thing to do is.
There is a pretty big breakdown of parenting here, though. How was the child allowed to obtain access to poisonous chemicals? Why was the child unsupervised for that long? I feel that many of the behavior problems parents face could be a result of the care and attention they provide. I'm certainly not against spanking, but there is a line. I've seen parents spank their kids out of anger. A heat-of-the moment whack. That is not disciplining a child, however. That is assault.
I would agree with the second half of your post Moegreche.
But to address the first part, it was household cleaning products and lamp oil that he was using to lace their drinks. So it was normal every day stuff from around the house.
Right, but my kid has never touched household cleaning products. I think that's pretty normal. Perhaps something was wrong developmentally with the kid but in that case, perhaps he should've been more supervised. Although it does seem pretty calculating for a kid to do that. Yeah, okay, I'll grant that this kid probably had some sort of plan or something.
To me it depends on the kid because I have alot of siblings some learned from being grounded, others had to be spanked to learn and some of them wouldnt learn no matter the punishment.
I think you are right, except for the last part. There is always a way to get the message across. You only have to find out how. Only if they disagree with the piont the adults are making (meaning they still have to find out how to get through to the child) so much that they are willing to take the punishment/drawn out conversation will they do it again.
Yeah, the way to get the message across is throwing them down the stairs. After beating them with a bar of soap in a sock. After giving them a waterboarding session.
I get your attention yet? Good.
Darn. I forgot the valid point I was going to make. Um...I will get back to you guys as soon as I remember.
I agree with methelod, it really depends on the child. Their age, mental development and what not should all play a factor. One kid may respond better to a potch on the behind, where as it does no good to smack a kid who is mentally challenged and may not associate the physical sting with something he/she did.
And what about verbal discipline? On Valentines Day I was walking into Walmart and a family was walking out. A little girl was crying clenching a Valentines Day bear. I have no idea why she crying, but the mom said to her, "You're ruining my valentines day." I almost lost it! Parents should tell their kids they are ruining days/events/what ever! That kids gonna be raised thinking she's a failure. BTW, the little girl was 3 or 4.
And yelling at kids, that's a whole other can of worms.
I can speak from personal experience that mental abuse is just as bad if not worse than physical abuse. My crazy mother has said many things that should have never been said to a child. Including things like what you mentioned, Warbuff. When I came out to them the first time we were vacationing in Mexico, so I figured it was a stress-free environment. But she flipped out and told me I ruined her vacation. It's almost ludicrous that she reacted this way when so many people in our family are gay and she's never had a hint of a problem with it.
Yeah, that blows. I've got a crazy mom, too. But I don't know her motivations. I suppose with punishment not only is anger a factor, but so is intent. If I am punishing a child for revenge or just to hurt them, that's also past the line.
