ForumsWEPRBreakfastarianism

384 48320
Devoidless
offline
Devoidless
3,675 posts
Jester

I have come to show you all the truth about our lives, the universe the end of the world. As of yet, there is only a sparse section of the holy text done. But more is to come! Have faith. Join today, and learn the truth!


The Book of Breakfastarianism

Commandments:
And the Lord spoke thusly:

1) Thou shall not have any meals before breakfast.
2) Thou shall not forget to eat breakfast and thou shalt keep it delicious.
3) Thou shall not make wrongful use of breakfast by eating instant or pre-made breakfasts.
4) Thou shall not steal food from your neighbors plate at breakfast.
5) Thou shall not covet your neighbors breakfast nor his seat in the booth by the window.


The Beggining

In the beggining of time, there was nothing. But then came forth a mighty rumbling.
Twas the stomach of the Lord, and He was famished. So He spoke. And He did say "Let
there be light!" And the universe was washed with light, for the Lord could not make
His meal in the dark. He then made all the stars in the sky and all the planets
surrounding them because He thought they looked very nice. In doing so, He made a
cluster of stars and planets he named the Milkyway for it sounded tasty. This galaxy
became His favourite, so He made a decision: He going to create a planet with man upon
it so they too could see the beauty he Made. After seven days and nights, the Lord was
done making the planet and man. And the Lord did grin. And the Lord then did feast.
He ate the skies, stars and the planets. He then spoke "This way, I shall always be able to
watch over and protect man along with the universe around him." Feeling accomplished and
satiated, the Lord then went on His way.

  • 384 Replies
Zootsuit_riot
offline
Zootsuit_riot
1,523 posts
Nomad

Well, as one of the founding members, I can concur that it is a made up religion founded by atheists to mock the foundations of other religions - although all of it has become very much an inside joke.
But a feeble attempt?? Nahhhh


I realize that as well, but it seemed like Megamickel was getting a teensy bit offended by it. It's just a joke.
Drace
offline
Drace
3,880 posts
Nomad

I am very skeptical of this religion. I'm not sure to follow it...

It seems to be a something of which will control me and the others for your own needs.

No, I'm smart! SCREW YOU!

nicenicejt
offline
nicenicejt
161 posts
Nomad

lol funny is this a club if it is i wanna join

Ricador
offline
Ricador
3,722 posts
Shepherd

lol funny is this a club if it is i wanna join


Not only is this club funny, but it is a joke.
Snakebite
offline
Snakebite
996 posts
Nomad

They are pushing it as a religon... But I don't see it as one.

Zootsuit_riot
offline
Zootsuit_riot
1,523 posts
Nomad

They are pushing it as a religon... But I don't see it as one.


I wonder why that may be.
razzmonk
offline
razzmonk
496 posts
Nomad

I wouldn't want to follow that religion, i wouldn't be able to steal my brother's pancakes anymore!

a7xfan
offline
a7xfan
212 posts
Peasant

alot of the people taking this siriosly its a joke

99percentcomplete
offline
99percentcomplete
390 posts
Nomad

I found that quite funny. May your pancakes be fluffy and your eggs properly cooked Amen. Lol. Don't eat instant meals for breakfast.

Moegreche
offline
Moegreche
3,827 posts
Duke

You can think it's a joke until you're expelled out the backside of the Almighty during the Final Bowel Movement. Then we'll see who's laughing

Strop
offline
Strop
10,816 posts
Bard

Moe, I notice almost all your humor these days involves some kind of toilet joke...

...it makes me think of the Freudian implications.

Strop
offline
Strop
10,816 posts
Bard

P.S. I religiously eat Bran (yes, pure bran) as my first meal of the day. So don't crucify me, I'm like holier-than-thou xD

bigbrain
offline
bigbrain
1,594 posts
Nomad

Ode to Breakfast

When I eat Breakfast
I behave good so I can
get MORE,
If I don't get it
like a lion I shall ROAR,
if I still don't get it
your throat will be SOAR!
You know why?
Cause I'll hit you
with an OAR!
And you will not also
eat ANY,
and you won't have a PENNY,
cause I'll steal it ALL!
And when I push you off a cliff,
THOU SHALL DIE CAUSE OF THE FALL!

shermzx
offline
shermzx
564 posts
Nomad

wow,that's a great poem.
with a touch of humour.
getting a sore throat after a blow from a oar.haha

shermzx
offline
shermzx
564 posts
Nomad

aaah,a philosophy.
not a religion.

Showing 226-240 of 384