Only your post RubberyChikken?
Ohwell, I have to process the previous ones...
Wait! I was IN the house because I'm in the A House defender's club so how didhe get in? I cry and explain my problems to A House and he wants to take revenge on my. Take the RC racing chicken!
You cannot explain because you're stunned. If you were trying to object, make this more obvious-looking. You wake up in a bed in A House. Exit through a Window if you want to leave.
I go to the local hardware and farm supply store to buy stuff. I purchase all of their propane tanks and ammonium nitrate fertilizer. I then set about building piezoelectric fuses and containers for the NH4+NO3-. I put them in a durable plastic casing with a dense metal head and the piezoelectric fuse at the tip. I hire a pilot and a few guys looking for a job in this bad economy. They are to fly up (WTF?) 2000 feet above the house, just out of range of its chimney artillery, open the cargo hold and push akk of the NH4+NO3- bombs out of hold immediately followed by the propane tanks so that all explosives will follow the calculated trajectory adjusted for height, plane velocity, and windspeed. With the explosive power of several hundred kilos of NH4+NO3- and fiery blast of the propane the house shall be leveled even if it manages to take a few bombs out with its chimney artillery.
All these people try to fly. Some even tried this by jumping off a treetop, while holding these fertilizer missiles in their cargo holds(lol). They EPICLY FAIL.
...ohwell. Then, do not underestimate the chimney artillery. It shot a missile, which was attached to another missile, so they could fly above 2000 feet high. And, they carried a lightsaber inside. After reaching the nearbiness of your plane, Humanoidal Avatar of A House formed of one of the missiles, grabbed the lightsaber and jumped to your plane. Then, it did some general slaughtering. Actually, he just cut off the wings and then disbodied. Wings fall on A House, dealing 800 damage. Your plane crashes too far to do anything. You weren't on it, so you're not dead.
I plate the house with metal, hopefully increasing its hp.
(again, meant to aid the house)
Hm... Simplify effect makes the plating idea actually good. House plated. Too many effects to post them.
I learn how to falcon Punch, and I Falcon punch daleksparta for helping the enemy.
daleksparta punched. You accidentally achieve the Treebreak Throw effect, dealing 45 damage to daleksparta and 100 damage to A House. You had to come close to A House to punch daleksparta, however, and you were grabbed with a curtain and thrown with the same effect.
I Chaos Control out of the way, leaving rubberychicken to the house's attacks.
Simplify does not allow you to do that. You tried a classic dodge, and failed.
I kick the house!
GREAT! Just, remember this: "Newbton's Third Law of Dynamics". You deal 20 damage and receive 20 recoil damage.
*grumbles* I launch a printer that is perpetually paper jammed at your wall.
A Curtain grabs a baseball bat.
<insert action scene here>
Pazx hit for 10 damage with broken pieces. A House hit for 100 damage with overly enthustastic or something like that swing.
A House
HP: 75931 (-1120)
Skills: Alot of annoying ones. Most notable ones are Strangle with a Curtain, Form Avatar and Chair Stampede. It can also fix its structure slowly.
Status: Made of bricks, paint, concrete, metal, wood, and furniture. It also trusts the house cleaner hired by mattt15. Some bees defend A House. There are a few sticks of dynamite lying nearby.
Special rules: Same as before, and they can be found on the first page. STATIDONKERS are disabled. Definition of a STATIDONKER can be found on page 3. Using E99 effectors is disabled. Oversized amounts of soldiers are "restricted". Oversized amounts of text are "restricted". Methods to insta-kill one unit used in Heroes of Might and Magic series are disabled.
Stage: Forest. Contains some pines and such. Some are broken already, and about 28 are lying on A House, together with a giant. And, a bit further away, there is a large explosion crater.
Dead people: None
Simplified people: None
BANNED people: None yet
Disintegrated and insane people: None yet
Possible time when I'll check again: soon, hopefully.
Relations: None between players and NPCs.
Stunned people: None
Current players' locations: Coming soon if you post them!
Other stat I should put in template