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Minnakht
offline
Minnakht
303 posts
Nomad

This one is a blatant ripoff...

A house
HP: 100000
Skills: Alot of annoying ones
Status: Unaffected by anything yet. Made of bricks, paint, concrete, metal, wood, and furniture.
Special rules: You cannot assume something happened, but you can predict the results. If the results are strictly set, you have to post them. One action per between my posts. You can OBJECT by giving proper reasons, but only once per rejected action. I have the rights to deny your attack or OBJECTION without any reasons, but I promise I'll limit this to when I'm really tired and/or lazy and stuff. In these cases, I may lend this thread to someone else.
Stage: Forest. Contains some pines and such.
Dead people: None yet
Simplified people: None yet
BANNED people: None yet
Disintegrated and insane people: None yet
Possible time when I'll check again: About 18 hours from now
Other stat I should put in template
Other stat I should put in template
Other stat I should put in template
Other stat I should put in template

Being dead disables your own physical actions.
Being simplified disables all actions that have to be explained or are just complicated. Basically limits your movepool to simple physical attacks performed by you.
Being BANNED disables your rights to post here.
Being disintegrated and insane disables your all actions that could influence anything.
If I meet alot posts after these 18 hours and do not answer because I'm too lazy, you may imagine beating me up until I look like a hunk of meat that can be used for culinary reasons. I know that these threads are alot of responsiblity, and I'm a novice in this, but these other destruction threads either make you destroy your environment of frustration or are abandoned already, so I can't be that bad.

Start.

  • 274 Replies
Matty360
offline
Matty360
764 posts
Nomad

I get an electrician to fuse a wire from a power station onto A House and then get 500 people to pour water onto the electricity on the house to create devastating effects.

And then I hug the A House for being so awesome

RubberyChicken
offline
RubberyChicken
956 posts
Nomad

I walk out into the open with a white flag to negotiate my surrender with the house, but I am wearing a vest with plenty of explosives on it, and will blow myself up when I get to the house.

Minnakht
offline
Minnakht
303 posts
Nomad

I hire a mercenary to make a clearing around the houses and start a forest fire (THIS DEFENDS THE HOUSE BY DAMAGING ANY PLAYER WHO GOES TO ATTACK IT DIRECTLY!), and the mercenary dies, while I stay clear of the forest.


The house grabs this mercenary with a curtain, and rather not kindly explains him why he shouldn't do this. ("What the censor are you doing! You want the bombers to have a clear view!&quot and does the same thing it did to Pixie214 a few pages ago. A total of two trees fell on A House during this whole operation.

I get an electrician to fuse a wire from a power station onto A House and then get 500 people to pour water onto the electricity on the house to create devastating effects.


The water isn't salty or something, so it doesn't conduct electricity. A House is now wet, and has a wire. It uses it to charge its... no, not LAZOR, but pretty close. All the electrical devices inside. Now it's more dangerous. The amount of water itself caused some minor damage.

I walk out into the open with a white flag to negotiate my surrender with the house, but I am wearing a vest with plenty of explosives on it, and will blow myself up when I get to the house.


A House invites you to enter, places you on a chair, serves some vodka, and a Humanoidal Avatar of A House forms to talk more like interhumanly. Then, you probably say NOW and a splode. House takes... hm... how much explosives could a vest hold... 750 damage. You died in the process, obviously.
But remember, being dead only opens new possiblities that you haven't thought of

A House
HP: 89890 (-2040)
Skills: Alot of annoying ones. Most notable one is Strangle with a Curtain. It can also fix its structure slowly.
Status: Made of bricks, paint, concrete, metal, wood, and furniture. It also trusts the house cleaner hired by mattt15, that is currently recovering in hospital. Damaged by the leftovers of the carpenter bees idea for 10 damage each turn for the nearest 4 turns. Farts damage the house for 10 damage for the nearest 4 turns. Some bees defend A House. 3 sumo wrestlers owe A House a favor.
Special rules: Same as before, and they can be found on the first page. STATIDONKERS are disabled. Definition of a STATIDONKER can be found on page 3. Using E99 effectors is disabled, without this Time Manipulation Devices won't work noticeably or at all. Time manipulation is actually allowed.
Stage: Forest. Contains some pines and such. Some are broken already, and about nineteen are lying on A House. There is a ladyhouse made of balsa wood just next to A House. And, a bit further away, there is a large explosion crater. A heavily wounded mercenary is lying nearby near to a broken tree, just like Pixie214 a few pages ago.
Dead people: Some dinosaurs. Gunpowder barrel guy NPC. RubberyChicken (2 pages left, this is a perk)
Simplified people: None yet
BANNED people: None yet
Disintegrated and insane people: None yet
Possible time when I'll check again: Randomly during the next 2 hours or less.
Relations: Mario and Luigi are trying to kill RubberyChicken.
Other stat I should put in template
Other stat I should put in template
Other stat I should put in template
Pazx
offline
Pazx
5,842 posts
Peasant

I'm bored and can't think of how to destroy the house, so I start playing Super Smash Bros Brawl! But, I incidentally leave my Tesla coil and lightning rod next to the wii, so it is struck by lightning!

All the characters come alive, and they are dazed and confused, and all they know is fighting for good, so they attack The House.

Falcon! PAWNNCHH!!

Minnakht
offline
Minnakht
303 posts
Nomad

But, I incidentally leave my Tesla coil and lightning rod next to the wii, so it is struck by lightning!


Sorry Link, I can't give that much unrealisticism. Come back when you're a little mmm... mmm... mmm... mmm... Serious!

Your Wii is now ruined. You are so angry that you are simplified. (You can't think of any complicated plans, so you're limited to doing simple stuff yourself, such as kicking the house, punching the house, baseballbatting the house, knocking down trees)

A House
HP: 89890 (-2040)
Skills: Alot of annoying ones. Most notable one is Strangle with a Curtain. It can also fix its structure slowly.
Status: Made of bricks, paint, concrete, metal, wood, and furniture. It also trusts the house cleaner hired by mattt15, that is currently recovering in hospital. Damaged by the leftovers of the carpenter bees idea for 10 damage each turn for the nearest 4 turns. Farts damage the house for 10 damage for the nearest 4 turns. Some bees defend A House. 3 sumo wrestlers owe A House a favor.
Special rules: Same as before, and they can be found on the first page. STATIDONKERS are disabled. Definition of a STATIDONKER can be found on page 3. Using E99 effectors is disabled, without this Time Manipulation Devices won't work noticeably or at all. Time manipulation is actually allowed.
Stage: Forest. Contains some pines and such. Some are broken already, and about nineteen are lying on A House. There is a ladyhouse made of balsa wood just next to A House. And, a bit further away, there is a large explosion crater. A heavily wounded mercenary is lying nearby near to a broken tree, just like Pixie214 a few pages ago.
Dead people: Some dinosaurs. Gunpowder barrel guy NPC. RubberyChicken (2 pages left, this is a perk)
Simplified people: Pazx
BANNED people: None yet
Disintegrated and insane people: None yet
Possible time when I'll check again: Randomly during the next 2 hours or less.
Relations: Mario and Luigi are trying to kill RubberyChicken.
Other stat I should put in template
Other stat I should put in template
Other stat I should put in template
Minnakht
offline
Minnakht
303 posts
Nomad

Sorry, forgot to change

Possible time when I'll check again: ALOT OF TIME. About 17 hours from now.

daleksparta
offline
daleksparta
1,648 posts
Nomad

Steal a nuke and nuke the whole forest.

crimsonblade55
offline
crimsonblade55
5,399 posts
Shepherd

I send in 300 spartans with shiskababs after the house,burning every tree on their way there.

daleksparta
offline
daleksparta
1,648 posts
Nomad

once the fire starts I reroute the 300 to save them.

sense
offline
sense
1,036 posts
Nomad

I grab a garden gnome, say hi to the house, put the gnome back down, egg the gnome, laugh, cook some pancakes, and....

Punch the gnome, for being... being... eggy....

Anyway, the gnome and the house didn't like each other, after the gnome sued the house, when a tree fell on him... I have gained the houses trust...

If this is considered spam, as other posts like this have been, please tell me, as this post was not meant to by spam, or annoy anybody (but the gnome)

kamrad
offline
kamrad
564 posts
Nomad

I run into the house, head first.

Minnakht
offline
Minnakht
303 posts
Nomad

Steal a nuke and nuke the whole forest.


The nuke is grabbed by a curtain and slowed down, and then it hits alot of mattresses...

oh wait, you said that you intend to nuke the whoue forest.

Then, a missile shot by the house's chimney slams very hard into the nuke, changing its course to far away from here. It falls into thy ocean.

I send in 300 spartans with shiskababs after the house, burning every tree on their way there.


Now there's a trail of scorched remains leading from SPARTAAAAAAAAAA to A House. The spartans, however, were killed by 3000 chairs, bees and alot of curtains. Noone cares about the quality of training when this isn't a player-based game and the enemy is 10 times more numerous.

House takes 1500 damage, still. 300 spartans sure deal massive damage.

The surrounding trees (these that weren't on their way) somehow don't catch fire.

once the fire starts I reroute the 300 to save them.


They... hm... ohwell. They don't like being stopped. YOU JUST GOT SWORDED

...yes, you're DEAD.

I grab a garden gnome, say hi to the house, put the gnome back down, egg the gnome, laugh, cook some pancakes, and....
Punch the gnome, for being... being... eggy....
Anyway, the gnome and the house didn't like each other, after the gnome sued the house, when a tree fell on him... I have gained the houses trust...


Erm... RubberyChicken said it best before "Whatever you were trying to do failed. Luckily you're not dead."

I run into the house, head first.


N3wbton's Third Law of Dynamics

House takes 20 damage, you take 40 damage and are simplified until next turn.

A House
HP: 88350 (-1540)
Skills: Alot of annoying ones. Most notable one is Strangle with a Curtain. It can also fix its structure slowly.
Status: Made of bricks, paint, concrete, metal, wood, and furniture. It also trusts the house cleaner hired by mattt15, that finished recovering in hospital. Damaged by the leftovers of the carpenter bees idea for 10 damage each turn for the nearest 3 turns. Farts damage the house for 10 damage for the nearest 3 turns. Some bees defend A House. 3 sumo wrestlers owe A House a favor.
Special rules: Same as before, and they can be found on the first page. STATIDONKERS are disabled. Definition of a STATIDONKER can be found on page 3. Using E99 effectors is disabled.
Stage: Forest. Contains some pines and such. Some are broken already, and about nineteen are lying on A House. There is a ladyhouse made of balsa wood just next to A House. And, a bit further away, there is a large explosion crater. A heavily wounded mercenary staggered/crawled away.
Dead people: Gunpowder barrel guy NPC. RubberyChicken (1 page left, this is a perk)
Simplified people: Pazx (1 page left), kamrad (1 turn left)
BANNED people: None yet
Disintegrated and insane people: None yet
Possible time when I'll check again: Randomly during the next 2 hours or less.
Relations: Mario and Luigi are trying to kill RubberyChicken.
Other stat I should put in template
Other stat I should put in template
Other stat I should put in template
Matty360
offline
Matty360
764 posts
Nomad

I hug the house

And then I get 6 dudes with chainsaws, 10 dudes with rocket launchers and 30 tanks all to attack the house. And then I get fishermen to cast their rods at the house.

crimsonblade55
offline
crimsonblade55
5,399 posts
Shepherd

After that is done I send in the legion(legion=10,000) of Spartans from the end of the Movie 300 with riot shields,anti-bee vests,and flaming pitch forks after the house surrounding it,burning all the trees around it.

fourtytwo
offline
fourtytwo
698 posts
Nomad

I sit down in front of the house and cry...

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