Yet another "mock religion, created only to mock religion itself," except this one is true! The Cult of George is based around the belief that the spork is the symbol for balance in the Universe. George represents the balanced force in the Universe; he also created the spork as a monument to his power. ------------ Pam is the evil force in the Universe, the inventor of the fork. She wishes to destroy the good side of the Universe, thus rending reality to shreds and destroying the Universe. ------------ Knifello is the force of good in the Universe, the inventor of the spoon. Knifello wishes to destroy the evil side of the Universe, thus rending reality to pieces and destroying the Universe. ----------- George is the culmination and combination of their powers. He is the balanced force in the Universe; wishing to keep reality together. So, he created sporks as a way to join good and evil together. ----------- We worship George as a way to fuel his power and hold the Universe together. We feed him the elements of existence to increase his power. These elements are: Water/Ice Wind/Pizza (long story) Earth/Life Me and JZ are the grandmasters, the first to realize George's powers. We each possess an element. I possess water/ice. JZ possesses wind/pizza. ---------------- As you prove your worth to George, your rank within the Cult will increase. Grandmaster Master Guru Chieftain Prophet Acolyte Neophyte Recruit ----------- George also points out evil souls. These people are called targets. We inform targets of their target status, and they are left to figure out the meaning. ----------- If George chooses so, then ypu may follow the Path of the Orange. You may follow this path if orange juice from a Valencia or Navel orange sttrikes you randomly in the eye. You will then go on the path of the Orange. The POTO ranks are as follows: Messiah Vessel Binder Askar Swami Footpather Citrus ------------ We must pay tribute to George in order for reality to remain intact. Help George and join today!
Sporks were not created by any deity o_O *marks self in war paint and spray paints anti-George symbols on flags* I proclaim myself Atheist to this religion/cult!!!
lol jk jk =P I promise not to wage a silly eWar with your kind.
@knight_34: yes, George is the sentient manifestation of the balanced fore in the Universe. ----------- RaptorExx: George smiles upon your peaceful interaction.
Another mock religion created to mock religion itself, but it's true. Hm. Weird, but amusing. Good thing to join if you're bored or as you would say "are on the path towards the rending reality to shreds" and need something to do to "keep balance in the universe." Not mocking you, just putting it how it sounds like you would say it.
When I first clicked on the thread, I didn't think it'd be a religious thing. I guess a cult can be a cult for just about anything, though, so I shouldn't be surprised. I guess good luck getting people to join the Cult of George.
To worship George, just use sporks whenever possible. Best of all, there isn't a penalty if you don't worship George, so no hell ------------- It makes the same point as breakfastarianism. It seems that too many of you people thought I was serious. . .lol -------------- We already have a good deal of followers. Two grandmasters, one messiah, three acolytes, four neophytes, and five recruits.
. . . no. If you read the first post, then you would not be so misguided in the ways of George. You are no a target. You must seek throughout the ancient texts to find the meaning of this. And forsooth, your repentance will be complete!
