ForumsThe TavernCult of George (READ FOR ENLIGHTENMENT!!)

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thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,824 posts
Shepherd

Yet another "mock religion, created only to mock religion itself," except this one is true! The Cult of George is based around the belief that the spork is the symbol for balance in the Universe. George represents the balanced force in the Universe; he also created the spork as a monument to his power.
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Pam is the evil force in the Universe, the inventor of the fork. She wishes to destroy the good side of the Universe, thus rending reality to shreds and destroying the Universe.
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Knifello is the force of good in the Universe, the inventor of the spoon. Knifello wishes to destroy the evil side of the Universe, thus rending reality to pieces and destroying the Universe.
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George is the culmination and combination of their powers. He is the balanced force in the Universe; wishing to keep reality together. So, he created sporks as a way to join good and evil together.
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We worship George as a way to fuel his power and hold the Universe together. We feed him the elements of existence to increase his power. These elements are:
Water/Ice
Wind/Pizza (long story)
Earth/Life
Me and JZ are the grandmasters, the first to realize George's powers. We each possess an element. I possess water/ice. JZ possesses wind/pizza.
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As you prove your worth to George, your rank within the Cult will increase.
Grandmaster
Master
Guru
Chieftain
Prophet
Acolyte
Neophyte
Recruit
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George also points out evil souls. These people are called targets. We inform targets of their target status, and they are left to figure out the meaning.
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If George chooses so, then ypu may follow the Path of the Orange. You may follow this path if orange juice from a Valencia or Navel orange sttrikes you randomly in the eye. You will then go on the path of the Orange. The POTO ranks are as follows:
Messiah
Vessel
Binder
Askar
Swami
Footpather
Citrus
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We must pay tribute to George in order for reality to remain intact. Help George and join today!

  • 69 Replies
thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,824 posts
Shepherd

goooooood. . .thank you for your donation. Don't stop believin'!

samdawghomie
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samdawghomie
3,552 posts
Peasant

OMG this thread as died. Hope you guys don't care if I summon the spork power of Goerge to bring it back to life.... And, just 'cause


http://www.sporktastic.com/

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,824 posts
Shepherd

This thread didn't die. And sporktastic.com is a decent site. Set in motion by George himself.

samdawghomie
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samdawghomie
3,552 posts
Peasant

You could go to this site. I think its pretty good for merchandise although I have no money. D:

samdawghomie
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samdawghomie
3,552 posts
Peasant

I don't mean to be mean but, nobody's in the spork spirit anymore alt. I found the thread six pages back, and well that's just sad.

*REVIVE ONCE AGIAN*

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,824 posts
Shepherd

Twas George's will to let this thread die. You mustn't understand. . . .

chaotix567
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chaotix567
882 posts
Nomad

It had to die! And when I just found it no less!

I will embark on a quest to find the physical manifestation of this "George" and attain true enlightenment!

EpicGuy
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EpicGuy
90 posts
Nomad

And pray tell, is this Spork used to eat a large Flying Spaghetti Monster? Your answer will determine whether I shall join or ignore this revolution.

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,824 posts
Shepherd

You can't ignore George. And the FSM is one of George's agents. follow FSM enough, and he'll show you the way.

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