ForumsThe TavernCult of George (READ FOR ENLIGHTENMENT!!)

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thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,824 posts
Shepherd

Yet another "mock religion, created only to mock religion itself," except this one is true! The Cult of George is based around the belief that the spork is the symbol for balance in the Universe. George represents the balanced force in the Universe; he also created the spork as a monument to his power.
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Pam is the evil force in the Universe, the inventor of the fork. She wishes to destroy the good side of the Universe, thus rending reality to shreds and destroying the Universe.
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Knifello is the force of good in the Universe, the inventor of the spoon. Knifello wishes to destroy the evil side of the Universe, thus rending reality to pieces and destroying the Universe.
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George is the culmination and combination of their powers. He is the balanced force in the Universe; wishing to keep reality together. So, he created sporks as a way to join good and evil together.
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We worship George as a way to fuel his power and hold the Universe together. We feed him the elements of existence to increase his power. These elements are:
Water/Ice
Wind/Pizza (long story)
Earth/Life
Me and JZ are the grandmasters, the first to realize George's powers. We each possess an element. I possess water/ice. JZ possesses wind/pizza.
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As you prove your worth to George, your rank within the Cult will increase.
Grandmaster
Master
Guru
Chieftain
Prophet
Acolyte
Neophyte
Recruit
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George also points out evil souls. These people are called targets. We inform targets of their target status, and they are left to figure out the meaning.
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If George chooses so, then ypu may follow the Path of the Orange. You may follow this path if orange juice from a Valencia or Navel orange sttrikes you randomly in the eye. You will then go on the path of the Orange. The POTO ranks are as follows:
Messiah
Vessel
Binder
Askar
Swami
Footpather
Citrus
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We must pay tribute to George in order for reality to remain intact. Help George and join today!

  • 69 Replies
thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,824 posts
Shepherd

Very interesting mate, very interesting indeed.

The purpose of the Cult of George is similar to that of Breakfastarianism in the point it makes, but George has one of the deepest lores of any religion. AG just isn't ready for the deeper recesses of George's story
fire_cracker
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fire_cracker
239 posts
Peasant

ummm... All hail George.

knight_34
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knight_34
13,832 posts
Farmer

The purpose of the Cult of George is similar to that of Breakfastarianism in the point it makes, but George has one of the deepest lores of any religion. AG just isn't ready for the deeper recesses of George's story


Hmm...

I expect to see more out of this "Cult of George".

Do you have any colors for your cult?
jezz
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jezz
3,338 posts
Farmer

hmmm okay then Alt *joins*
The way in which you think amuses me ^.^

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,824 posts
Shepherd

ummm... All hail George.

ummm. . .your enthusiasm is riveting.
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Do you have any colors for your cult?

All colors, because George is representant of all things in the Universe.
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hmmm okay then Alt *joins*

And we have another new recruit! As long as you like sporks then you can join.
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Here at the Cult of George, our sacrament is using sporks.
thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,824 posts
Shepherd

A bit weird, and before long you will have anti-club/cult/anything fanatics, tail-gating you...

the weird thing is that breakfastarianism has survived. . .oh well. Anyone who bashes the Cult of George on a religious basis will be labeled as an anti-sporkbalancSamsarist (anti-cult of George-ist) and that's a bannable offense, just like anti-Semitic behavior
jezz
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jezz
3,338 posts
Farmer

Alt, guess what!
i have a spork in my cupboard in the kitchen!
i dont use it cuz its too awesome to use. =P

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,824 posts
Shepherd

Good! *Promotion*
Since you're not a recruit anymore, you now have designation to use your spork.

knight_34
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knight_34
13,832 posts
Farmer

Can I ask you something? What else do respect in your cult aside from the sporks?

Merciless_Mercenary
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Merciless_Mercenary
446 posts
Nomad

I have a pack of Sporks. I always have a pack of sporks in the kitchen. XD

RubberyChicken
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RubberyChicken
956 posts
Nomad



The holiest spork of them all, the one made of titanium :O (does this get me into a higher position than normal?)

Milos
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Milos
848 posts
Peasant

Anyone played "Masquerade"?
"Have you been enlightened brother?"

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,824 posts
Shepherd

!! That was the spork that George first invented. . .or at least a copy.
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Good, sporks are amazing
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We respect water, ice, wind, pizza, earth, life, sporks, and oranges. Of course, we also respect George

aced0155
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aced0155
313 posts
Nomad

I humbly request to join the cult of George. (i set up a spork shrine in my room)

p.s.-for real i did
p.p.s.-it's not that great though
p.p.p.s.-it'll get better as i hopefully get promoted

thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
9,824 posts
Shepherd

You don't need a shrine, you just need to use sporks.

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