First I'd get my baseball bat and knock him out. Then I'd get my Swiss Army Knife and slice his nipples off. Then I'd cut off each of his pinkies. I would then leave the evil man in an alley for him to wake up to his deformed body.
Not so Kind version:
I knock him out with my baseball bat. Turn on my stove. (you know where this is going.) I would heat up a pan. I would tie up the pet deformer, then wake him up. I would push the fan on each cheek; 20 seconds each. Then I would cut open his ballsack. I would put the balls in his mouth and make him chew them. I would stick my knife in him then go take a Devlin (*cough* Just Go With It rocks*cough*). I would come back, and make him eat my Devlin. I would take out the knife, and cut off two fingers on each hand (different fingers on each hand). I would then choke him so that his voice would always be messed up. I'm feeling a bit merciful so I'll just chop off the left foot instead of the left leg. Knock him out, and hide him in a garbage bin, 2 minutes before the garbage man comes. What happens next? I don't care.
I knock him out with my baseball bat. Turn on my stove. (you know where this is going.) I would heat up a pan. I would tie up the pet deformer, then wake him up. I would push the fan on each cheek; 20 seconds each. Then I would cut open his ballsack. I would put the balls in his mouth and make him chew them. I would stick my knife in him then go take a Devlin (*cough* Just Go With It rocks*cough*). I would come back, and make him eat my Devlin. I would take out the knife, and cut off two fingers on each hand (different fingers on each hand). I would then choke him so that his voice would always be messed up. I'm feeling a bit merciful so I'll just chop off the left foot instead of the left leg. Knock him out, and hide him in a garbage bin, 2 minutes before the garbage man comes. What happens next? I don't care.
Nice, I would cut one of his legs off (since he cut my dogs leg off) and knock him out. Then tie him up to a tree, put bacon on him, and let my other dog(agressive chow mix)maraud him while I take my injured dog to the Animal ER. Then report a stray dog sighting and throw the dude by a tree and make dog paw prints. I'm so nice aren't I?
I won't do anything as I only have fishes as my pet. :P
If I did have a pet with legs, then I would torture him slowly and painfully until he tells me why he did it. When I get the information, I'll kill him so he won't tell anybody about the torture.
