Forums → The Tavern → Random hilarious phrases, post your own.

"If anything, I'd have a roast pickle and raw meat to go with my burger please."

"I'm entitled to my own opinion but no one is forcing you to acknowledge it!"

"I may not crack good jokes but I sure can crack a walnut."

And something random that I came across:

"Laugh, and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing."

The Voices Told Me To Do That.
"The Pythagorean Theorem Won't Help Me When I'm A Rockstar."

i say this a lot "you hit the weak point for MAXIMUM DAMAGE" to break up a stupid conservation

"The only reason one gets lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory"

"Sometimes I like to lay in my bed at night, staring up at the stars and wonder, Where the heck is my ceiling?!"

Mine (or at least I hope no one thought of it)- What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... Provided you don't lose limbs in the process

what up dudes and dudettes !! yeah man. fried cheese balls !
random stuff etc.

'if you would have shut up, people would have considered you to be wise.'

'a cheesburger please. but take any milk products of, please.'

'have I already told you that Mike has a girlfriend?' 'no! tell me!' 'mike has a new girlfriend.' 'you can't be serious?'

'hey, may I ask you a question?' 'no.'

'get a life.' 'as long as it isn't yours...'

Muffins discharges the hidden neighbor under the unrealistic misuse. How can Muffins expand? Muffins flags Butter behind the dogma. The processed adult serves as Muffins.

Here one I said to my friend
Me: Never forget, always remember, do not doubt... uh i forgot

Heres a few others I just thought of:
anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has obviously never
tried to staple jello to a tree.

Some people were dropped as a baby
. YOU were clearly thrown at a wall

.For Sale! One used alarm clock. Stupid thing rings when I am trying to sleep.

hypnotized a rooster

Here's a real nerdy-sounding bank joke:

I hate the key of D! It has an F 'n' C sharp!

Anybody get it?

The sailboat drifted gently across the surface of the water exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

He was as tall as a six-foot-two-inch tree.

He fell 16 stories, hitting the pavement like a Glad bag filled with vegetable soup.

The thunder sounded ominous, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

That's not a very OWN phrase of mine: it's my mother's actually:

"Sons and farts are the same: you can only withstand your own."

All I know is that this phrase looks way better in portuguese :P

Every batman needs a robin so he is not the only guy looking stupid in tights
Life is like a platypus, it can look retarded sometimes
School is the death star, every day u fear that darth vader will not like ur homework and kill u
When I become a doctor, I will cure ur stupidity
(after falling) did u see that? Ur chair attacked me!
Hey the other team is being mean, they won't let me win!
When something bad happens, blame it on the guy next to u

No man can eat 50 eggs-Tre Cool

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!" - Homer Simpson