Forums → The Tavern → Random hilarious phrases, post your own.

Lets all play the silence game!

Smith. Agent Smith.
(The Matrix)

Let's Eat The Bananas Before They Eat Us!
(not sure where)

"As the sun pulls away from the shore and our boat sinks slowly in the west, we approach the island of Lulu."
(Spike Jones song lyric)

Defective Cheese!
(after it was discovered that dinner contained a bag of the same)

"Don't make me threaten you!" -Anonymous

"I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger. Then it hit me." -Anonymous

"He's as red as an overdrawn account at the local blood bank." -Unknown

Sperm donation. More fun than giving blood!

This was hilarious seeing it on Russel Howard's Good News

To err is human. To really screw up requires a computer.
(don't know origin, but I make sure to spread it around!)

Here are some I'll contribute to this topic :
*Muffins are just ugly cupcakes.
*Some days even my lucky rocketship undies don't help. (I don't own any)
*I'm not fat..I'm puffy. (this statement helps if you are a panda)
*What's this normal? Do you have it? Gross, get away from me, I might catch your "normal"!
Those are just a few.

The baconater. Sir they've weaponized our food . . .

the whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 instead of 7:30.

"well, we finally got him sedated. used somthing I found under the sink in the bathroom. I think it was Clorox or something..."

Some days even my lucky rocketship undies don't help.

Better go by car, unless over a mountain then pregnant willll be faster. BUT with a comb the ship is fastest of all without the spam but anyway who cares.

Heres a few:
The 'oke' button on facebook is awesome...
But I think there should be a 'stab' button...

Pshhhh I did not fall... The floor looked at me funny
so I used my mad ninja skills to attack ( I used this to my friend)

Just remember, everything happens for a reason.
So when I smack you upside the head, remember... I had a reason! ( Me to my sister)

I didn't trip,
I... I was... uh... just... uh... checking the gravity!
Yeah! Just so you know, it's all good, it still works.

i wonder if its bad when I'm talking to myself
and I'm not even listening

If somebody throws skittles at me and yells "TASTE THE RAINBOW",
I'm gonna throw a 2 liter bottle of Dr.Pepper and yell "TRUST ME I'M THE DOCTOR

Aren't they weird? Most of them I said

The mind is like a tv set.
When it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.

YOU FED MY HAM TO RACCOONS?! (one of mine. Don't ask.)

How about this one:

It's funny until someone gets hurt; then it's hilarious.