Forums → The Tavern → General Relationship Thread

Don't listen to anything other people say. Maybe they just like her, or something like that. You should never listen to other people, because only you know what you must do. They can't decide for you.

haha guys.ummm they sit at her table at lunch.they are girls.are most are pretty onist peoples.haha.so you two were wrong for a part of them.but killersup can tell what you guys ment

killersup, I think that I can relate to you most on this. I was dumped in 7th grade by a girl I really liked, only to find out a few months ago that she only went out with me for "social status." I was crushed, because I had trusted her. But you'll find another one someday. That I can guarantee.

i had a dream that my girlfriend only dating me cause of a dare. wow, that was not good, but she not xD killersup, do u talk in third person off the web as well? that could do it...

in sertain clases he acually does.........killersup doubts that was the reason though

Ahh I see. So this whole thing spiraled out of control.... Let me try to help
1st. Shrug it off. Girls gossip, deal with it. If they post stuff on Facebook, don't come up with lame excuse. Dont back down and let them know that you are not crushed. Simply like "yeah, I asked her out, no big deal. This kinda stuff happens everyday." or something along those lines. It might help you.
2nd. Don't talk to the girl. At all. Ever. Don't try to ask again, don't do anything stupid. As stupid as it sounds, try to be prepared. Think about what might happen and come up with a plan.
3rd. Talk to other girls. Jealousy is something girls cannot resist. She will feel confused and wonder what is happening. Try to talk to just one other girl more, as the more it is, the more see through this becomes.
4th. Act normal. Acting sad will kill you. It shows her and other girls that your week and easley broken. Not good. Be happy.

*faceplam* I'm so lame. :P
Anyways, despite the lameness, it should work.

Ok. Normally I'm able to solve social and dating dilemmas at my school of any kind and really I don't need help with this stuff but this situation I'm in really has me stumped. I asked all of my friends for their opinions but I need a third party to tell me what the hell is going on. Ok. I'm in my last year of high school and there is this one girl whose known me through out all four years. Now I never really entertained the thought of being in a relationship with her or even dating her. She's very pretty but I just never really felt anything for her. During the first year we never really talked and I didn't liker her in a romantic way at the time. So it stays that way. The second year she's teasing because she found out I had a gf at the time. She joked about me and her having kids and being married. ( She wasn't referring to my gf but to me and her ). This didn't make me feel anything towards her except being irritable and angry. So I tried to ignore her most of the time. She was still persistent and still joked about me and her even though she had gotten a bf later that year. The third year was intense. Me and my gf had broken up but nobody had known. Now I go to a Christian private school and that year we had a serious political election going on. It was divided into three parties. Independent, Republican, and Democratic. I was a democratic atheist who happened to be very liberal and she was a catholic grown girl who happened to be upright conservative. ( The poor independent candidate cowered in the background for how much me and the girl argued LOL XD ) . Well being in a christian private school I eventually lost but what was surprising was that during that time she helped me out. Like she would help me correct words I couldn't really pronounce right ( I have a slight Spanish accent ) during a speech and she would help me out with certain political definitions. She in no way sabotaged me guys. Trust me. I double checked because this was my first thought when she offered her hand. Anyhow, after I lost she would occasionally say something on purpose to get me to argue with her. I know this because she looked at me right after she said it. She also knows were the only two people in the school ( possibly city ) who happen to be German and Spanish. ( On a side note I was wondering if its scientifically possible that people who share common races are genetically and naturally more attracted to each other. Anyone know anything about this? Because I heard it from somewhere and don't know whether to believe it or not). Later in the third year she get's another bf and one time in class we had gotten into really heated argument over about her teasing me and provoking me. I remember that she ended the argument with " I've always stood up for you when you weren't around. When people made fun of you I defended you! ". She then stormed out. I had the blankest expression on my face and people were just as surprised as I was and those who weren't I knew that those were the people who made fun of me. ( I have something special planned for them at the end of the year (:< ) . It was at this time I started questioning all the times she had helped me, teased, and stood up for me. But being skeptical I blew it off. ( FYI, At my school we don't have the typical high school social hierarchy of jocks, nerds, and punks. I know surprising but everyone almost always got along with everyone ) . She resumed teasing still but significantly lowered how often she did it. Now... This year... My final year... I have never ever ever ever been more confused in my life... First quarter we barely talked and when we did it was mostly about celebrities. 2nd quarter we have an art class together. She sits next to me even though we don't have a seating chart. She talks me more often than usual and she takes my stuff to mess with me. We were drawing faces in art and she asked her friend to turn around so she could see what color her eyes were. She joked that her eyes were too brown and that they looked black and then she turned to me and said " lemme see your eyes" Instinctively I looked up because she was talking to me and I didn't hear at fist what she had asked but we gazed for good two seemingly long seconds. Then she said it was the perfect shade of brown. The thought then reoccurred in my head and again I blew it off. When I go to wash my hands she goes over there and puts her hands over mine ( not holding but touching the whole time ) to wash them. No one else does this to each other. only her. She would talk to me a lot on certain days and ignore me on some. In the hallway she ignores me but in class I see her out of my peripherals glancing at me. Her best friend always looks at me as well. We would actually agree on certain political views now. Here's where it gets freaking confusing. She has a bf whom lives with her and she says she loves him but is always talking about how angry he gets and how he messes up a lot. I overheard her in a conversation with one of her friends and the friend asked why don't you break up with him if he's so bad? She stood quiet and avoided the question. She never mentions her bf to me when we talk. I know he's real too btw because the guy went to our school last year. So here it is... She's in a relationship and she claims she loves him but shows me all of these other signs. Oh and I like older woman to but idk if she see's that as a challenge or not? Can this be a factor? Please guys. I really need input because the question is eating me alive and keeping me awake. Typically I tend to be unattached and indifferent to emotion so I can try and keep my head clear ( I try to practice Stoicism as much as possible ) but this really has me in a daze. What's her deal? What does she want?

@TheAtheist To me, it seems like she just wants to be friends with you. Men have trouble distinguishing between friends and possible girlfriends. She may just be looking for an intimate, deep friendship with you.

If you want to know for certain, I would talk to her in private to clear up all the confusion.

Wow that was a lot of text. Okay, so let me see if I get this. You like this girl, you've been friends for a long time, she now has a boyfriend who may not be doing well, and you think she's giving you signals. Right? Okay. Well, if I was you I'd try to get closer to her. Not really as a boyfriend, just you know, just closer. That's just me though. You'd definitely want advice from someone with more experience.

To me, it seems like she just wants to be friends with you. Men have trouble distinguishing between friends and possible girlfriends. She may just be looking for an intimate, deep friendship with you.

If you want to know for certain, I would talk to her in private to clear up all the confusion.

Wow that was a lot of text.

Listen man. I'm going to be honest with you. Calm down, just relax your face, and let go of the anxiety. Just think about it with an open-mind for a few days/weeks. Just don't take too long, and see if you really like her or not. If you like her, be honest with her, and tell her that. If you don't, well just go with it. If you don't, she's probably just messing with you. Just don't think about it all of the time, and don't allow yourself to become paranoid, and take-over your life.
Good luck. Hope this helped a little, and didn't make it even more confusing.

Listen man. I'm going to be honest with you. Calm down, just relax your face, and let go of the anxiety. Just think about it with an open-mind for a few days/weeks. Just don't take too long, and see if you really like her or not. If you like her, be honest with her, and tell her that. If you don't, well just go with it. If you don't, she's probably just messing with you. Just don't think about it all of the time, and don't allow yourself to become paranoid, and take-over your life.
Good luck. Hope this helped a little, and didn't make it even more confusing.

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Wow, you really are in a tough spot, aren't you. And you can't "go with your gut" because your gut is doing cartwheels on a trampoline, right?

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Wow, you really are in a tough spot, aren't you. And you can't "go with your gut" because your gut is doing cartwheels on a trampoline, right?