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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Chuck Norris can get blood from a stone.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Little kids look for the boogie man in their closet. The boogie man looks for Chuck Norris in his closet.

chuck norris once visited the virgin islands, now they are just called islands.

Chuck Norris can run around the world so fast he can reach out and touch his back!
:P

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there!

Chuck Norris built the log cabin he was born in.

Chuck Norris has more AP than Firetailmadness yet he hasn't posted, rated or commented a single thing

Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away, a merchant tried to rip off Chuck Norris. Two roundhouse kicks later, he became famous world wide for be known as the hunchback of Notre Dam.

These are Doctor Who references.
The Doctor built the TARDIS to escape Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris won the Time War.
Darliks take orders from Chuck Norris.

god called upon Chuck Norris once as he rise up towards god he jumped and continued to roundhouse kick god in the face and said "bi*ch your in my seat"

These "facts" are based on what?
I want proof of these "facts."

Even Chuck Norris isn't safe from zombies.
The last thing we need is a Chuck Norris Zombie.

Chuck Norris does not teabag people... He potato sacks them

When Chuck Norris was eaten by a monster, he wasn't being digested by the monster. The monster was being digested by him.