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Chuck Norris don't like that people use airplanes.

He don't do it; he walk instead.

One day a horse pissed off Chuck Norris, two roundhouse kicks later, he made the first giraffe. The same has happened with the ostrich
.

If Chuck Norris cut off both his middle fingers, he could still flip you off.

Chuck Norris is the reason turtles hid in their shells.

Chuck Norris once sneezed whilst playing xbox, the virus is now known as the ring of death

To find a list of Chuck Norris's enemies, just google "extinct Species"

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks

The theory of evolution is based on the animals chuck norris let live.

The last thing that goes through the mind of chuck norris's victims is his foot.

Chuck Norris can still move at abo****e zero.

The answer to life, the universe and everything is.... Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris knows where Jimmy Hoffa is.

Chuck Norris is the reason the moon has craters.

Craters on Earth aren't caused by meteorites, they are the aftermath of chuck norris's sneezes.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a scuba mask he can breathe underwater.

Superman arrived on Earth in a meteorite and immediately had super strength thanks to our yellow sun. But it was Chuck Norris who taught him how to fly.

Chuck Norris works in mysterious ways.

in WWII, the USA didn't drop an atom bomb on Hiroshima, they sent in Chuck Norris.

Tides are caused by the inhales and exhales of chuck Norris, NOT the gravitational pull of the moon

Chuck Norris can go into a black hole, and come back out. (He can travel faster than light.)

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Chuck Norris!