Forums → The Tavern → How do you deal with annoying people at your door?

That is crude.

I usually take the random guy's paper then as soon as he turns around I wad it up, open the window and try to throw the paper at the guys head.

Are you talking about Jehovah Witness?

It's perfectly legal too.

Ask them where my pizza is, and why they haven't brought it with them complaining about how crappy a delivery service they have.

This one group of religious people, I can't think of the name, came to my door, and I passed out in front of them. It was me and two of them in the kitchen, and my cousin went to the bathroom, so it was me, passed out against the refrigerator, and them. My cousin came back, and they were like "We're gonna go!" and never came back.

Whenever someone comes to the door, I shoot paintball through the pet door. One guy was trying to sell me a fridge, in the foot went a paintball. Did he ever come back? No.

Have a friend play out the poison scene from the Princess Bride

"You: I challenge you to a battle of wits.
Friend: For the (whatever you're arguing about)?
You: [nods]
Friend: To the death?
You: [nods]
Friend: I accept! "

*Bring two cups filled with water*

"You: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.
Friend: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own cup or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own cup, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the water in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the water in front of me.
You: You've made your decision then?
Friend: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the water in front of you.
You: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Friend: Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?
You: Australia.
Friend: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the water in front of me.
You: You're just stalling now.
Friend: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own cup, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the water in front of me.
You: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Friend: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!
You: Then make your choice.
Friend: I will, and I choose - What in the world can that be?
You: [Friend gestures up and away from the table. You look. Friend swaps the goblets]
You: What? Where? I don't see anything.
Friend: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
[Friend and the You]
You: You guessed wrong.
Friend: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...
Friend: [Friend stops suddenly, his smile frozen on his face and falls to the ground dead]
You: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder. "


If someone did that it'd be awesome.

I don't want to buy anything, so git!

You guys are all really mean XD, whenever someone comes to the door with trying to sell something or w/e, I just say, "Sorry, i'm not interested" and they usually just apologise for disturbing me and leave.

I go get my airsoft gun, this,[/url} then I talk to them through the screen of the window by the door. If I tell them to leave and they don't then....I persuade them to leave with said airsoft gun. There isn't ever really a problem though, just say your not interested and if they keep just say, "No I'm am not interested" then walk away.
Or you could just put on this song before they get to your door, [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ylVRGttEW4]Kill Everybody
Always adds to the effect and might make them think you are crazy enough that they should leave...

I dont open the door. Yup thats it.

Wow are years of coding experience and I mess that up, sorry guys.

I go get my airsoft gun,this then I talk to them through the screen of the window by the door. If I tell them to leave and they don't then....I persuade them to leave with said airsoft gun. There isn't ever really a problem though, just say your not interested and if they keep just say, "No I'm am not interested" then walk away. Or you could just put on this song before they get to your door, Kill Everybody
Always adds to the effect and might make them think you are crazy enough that they should leave...

My friend always walks up to his door and tells people that the floor under them will open up they will fall into a deep pit.

Luckily, my neighborhood has a bunch of gates, and you need the code for you to get in, so my neighborhood doesn't have that problem.

But if it did happen, then I'd just look through my peephole. If they looked suspicious, then I just wouldn't answer the door.