This one is recent considering it is my favorite (and i've heard so many).
"Every Cloud has a silver lining........and lightning kills thousands of people looking for it every year."-depressed.com(i think) [sooo damn funny, lol]
OR
"What i found funny about those that are pro-abortion is they all seem to be alive."-Ronald Regan (soo true)
OR
"That depends on what the definition of "is" is."-Bill Clinton