World Lion Day at Armor Games
The Armor Games staff celebrates August 10th, World Lion Day, by trying to figure out what a lion actually is. We think we nailed it.
When we heard that today, August 10th, was World Lion Day, we here at Armor Games were excited to celebrate, because are very much in favour of lions. At least, we think we are. See, we don’t get out a whole lot, and we’ve been trying to figure out what a lion actually is. None of us has ever actually seen a lion, like, in person. And everyone knows you can’t trust anything you read online, so we sat down and tried to figure out what definitively makes a lion. We’re going to make the most of this arbitrary social holiday in the way only a company with a vague idea how to do so can. So let’s get down to lion-ery!
Lions are cats.
That, at least, we could all agree on. Which made us in turn wonder if our own beloved Sushi Cat was, in fact, a lion. I mean, sure he’s blue, and he’s got a vaguely unsettling… gelatinous quality. But he’s still definitely a cat… he even has trouble with dogs, for goodness’ sake. Still, some of the rest of the staff seemed skeptical, arguing that they had never seen Sushi Cat take down anything bigger than a California roll, much less a water buffalo, so we kept thinking.
Again, this seems like an obvious fact. When asked what we the most iconic attribute we all knew in regards to lions, we agreed upon the roar, except for intern Frank, who when asked said, “I don’t know, chalupas, whatever you guys feel like”. It’s possible Frank wasn’t paying attention. (Darn it, Frank.) But while this means Robot Dinosaurs That Shoot Beams When They Roar fit the bill, some of us were unconvinced as to their inherent lion-ness. We pressed on.
Lions have sharp teeth and claws.
By now we were feeling pretty disheartened by everything. Some of the interns who had previously thought we were joking for some reason, but the increasingly incoherent and frustrated scrawl on the office whiteboard during the meeting seemed to be unnerving them. Ferret nervously suggested that perhaps we “needed to take a break,” and that he “didn’t think we were actually serious.” After he was summarily dealt with for his treachery, however, there was a chittering, howling, scuttling sound in the hallways, and we remembered…
Ever since the release of GemCraft: Chasing Shadows, we’ve had a real problem controlling the giant, bloodthirsty, chitinous beasts that periodically appear and flood their way through the break room, carrying off an intern or three. But as we listened to their otherworldly roars, beheld the snapping of their jaws and the tapping of their claws, we realized that based on everything we had learned so far, these creatures we had previously thought to be giant evil bugs were, in fact, lions. Imagine our relief and embarrassment! We had no idea the cat family was so diverse.
So, gentle readers, we say unto you, happy World Lion Day! They may be ugly, they may pose a danger to the very fabric of our reality, and they may have carried off intern Frank in a seething, screaming mass into one of the air vents, but I think we can all agree, lions are truly remarkable beasts. Please feel free to share some of your favourite lions here today with us.
Writer: Dora Breckinridge / Dora has been writing about games for the better part of a decade, and playing them for even longer, using the glow of the monitor to keep her warm in the frozen wilds of her native Canada. Her website is here!