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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris is so tough that when he was born he had a those serious eyes tat made her mother and father faint.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird

Chuck Norris has 2 speeds. Walk, and Kill

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

people say chuck norris is so strong hes got another fist under his chin

that's ridiculos

chuck norris: hey, (punches guy with fist under chin)

oooppps punches the guys that says thats ridculos

When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he pushes the world DOWN instead.

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands, and when he came back, it was just the Islands.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer...its just too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris has been to Mars...thats why there are no signs of life there.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

I got more, but these are the funniest ones.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

At the end of the Guiness Book of World Records it says that all world records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones in the book are just the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

On December 25th Chuck Norris sent a Birthday card to Jesus even though it wasn't his Birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct him and today December 25th is known as Jesus' Birthday.

You want to know what caused the Big Bang? Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked God in the face.

If you can see Chuck Norris he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you have about 2 seconds to live.

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you do.

LOL!!! And to anyone else who doesn't like Chuck Norris like Zega, don't post here.

Chuck Norris was the forth wise man, who gave Jesus the gift of the beard. The other wise men were jealous because Jesus preferred his gift other theirs, so they decided to cut him out of all history books.
They all suffered roundhouse-kick related deaths.

Jesus walks on water, chuck norris walks on Jesus

Jesus can walk on water.. but chuck norris can swim through land


chuck norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird

When life gives chuck norris lemons, he makes orange juice

chuck norris can win connect four in 3 moves

chuck norris uses a night light, not bechause he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him

when god said "let there be light", chuck norris said "say please"

o ya one more

chuck norris' jokes dont end in punch lines: the end in roundhouse kicks to the face

Chuck norris can grow money on trees.
Chuck norris caused the baby boom in Europe during the 18th century. He got there by roundhousekicking the space-time continum.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep he waits