Come here and post your Chuck Norris facts/jokes. Please don't go on some site, copy a million of them, and paste it here. A maximum of 5 per post. But you can post again of course. I'll start with my favorite one: Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Also feel free to type lol as many times as you want as long as you post a fact/joke.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chucky can sneeze with his eyes open. If you have 5 dollars, and Chucky has 5 dollars too, he has more money than you. Chucky counted to "Infinite" 2 times and back.
Chuck Norris pee'd in a can its now called red bull
Chuck Norris knows the exact location of Carmen Sandiago
If Chuck Norris Jumps in a pool he dosent get wet the water gets chuck norris
One day a man stabbed chuck norris in the side with a knife.... three days later the knife bleed to death
chuck norris can believe its not butter
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.
Why doesn't chuck norris have hair on his balls? Hair doesn't grow on steel.
There is a cure for cancer, it happens to be chuck's tears... too bad he doesn't cry.
Give a man a fish, that could feed him for a day. Teach the man how to fish, feed him for life. Give anything more to that man, chuck norris will punch him in the face, and take it from him.
