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The Book of Breakfastarianism
Commandments: And the Lord spoke thusly:
1) Thou shall not have any meals before breakfast. 2) Thou shall not forget to eat breakfast and thou shalt keep it delicious. 3) Thou shall not make wrongful use of breakfast by eating instant or pre-made breakfasts. 4) Thou shall not steal food from your neighbors plate at breakfast. 5) Thou shall not covet your neighbors breakfast nor his seat in the booth by the window.
The Beggining
In the beggining of time, there was nothing. But then came forth a mighty rumbling. Twas the stomach of the Lord, and He was famished. So He spoke. And He did say "Let there be light!" And the universe was washed with light, for the Lord could not make His meal in the dark. He then made all the stars in the sky and all the planets surrounding them because He thought they looked very nice. In doing so, He made a cluster of stars and planets he named the Milkyway for it sounded tasty. This galaxy became His favourite, so He made a decision: He going to create a planet with man upon it so they too could see the beauty he Made. After seven days and nights, the Lord was done making the planet and man. And the Lord did grin. And the Lord then did feast. He ate the skies, stars and the planets. He then spoke "This way, I shall always be able to watch over and protect man along with the universe around him." Feeling accomplished and satiated, the Lord then went on His way.
once again as i usually say this is the dumbest thing i have ever heard! once again everyone say it to yourself. now in your head. now doesnt it sound alot stupider?
Dude, you said it perfectley I think this idea is absolutely ridicoulus
okay, I have just decided to become a Breakfastarianist. I believe that it will make me a better person by doing so. I am ready to join this great faith! Amen and dig in!
Oh and I have a quick question:
3) Thou shall not make wrongful use of breakfast by eating instant or pre-made breakfasts.
For the pre-made breakfast, does that include pastries? I am a huge Coffee and Croissant fanatic.
... Let me point out what this is, to anyone who doesn't get it:
No one is "actually" a breakfastarianist. It's a feeble attempt to say "hey, I can make up a religion, too" by atheists. If you've heard of or understand the concept behind pastafarianism (which was spawned to fight teaching of intelligent design in schools by saying 'well then you have to teach this nonsensical religion, too', then you understand breakfastarianism. Exactly the same as the invisible pink unicorn and other overused analogies of atheists.
