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Then you must brew a potion of longer life.

And pour is down the phoenix's mouth.

Then you must train it to be your companion.

Then you must roast it on a fire.

Afterwards you shall feast on it with the rest of the village.

Then you must eat three apples without consuming the apple.

Upon finishing that, you must take a pie and throw it into the face of the first person who invented custard pie throwing, living or dead.

Then you must break into a military compound.

Then you must hid in a cardboard box for 99.99 seconds.

Then, you must ride a bulldozer into the Pentagon.

But you must do it with a train.

Next, revive a king from the dead as a zombie servant.

Then tell him to bring you six gallons of engine oil.

Then use it to burn London down.