Welcome to Slap the Cheese, a cheese-slapping game where you slap cheese.
HOW TO PLAY
1. Generate a Cheese if the cheese is dead by rolling d4 for hardness 1 = 10 HP = Soft 2 = 50 HP = Medium 3 = 100 HP = Hard 4 = 500 HP = Brick!
2. Update the cheese HP.
Optional: Narrate the above poster's action.
3. Roll d20 for Slap Damage.
Your little sister looks at the cheese. Then it looks at you. Disappointed in you, she implodes. You have an interesting sister.
Beard Cheese 376/500
Hm. Wait a minute. If insanity is trying the same thing over and over expecting a different result and if at first you don't succeed try any try again...
If at first you don't succeed, GoInsaneWithRazorBlade = 8
*I did it again! AAGH! But yeah, I can see her doing that...*
Well, your insanity is somewhat paying off. It dealt as much damage as the last two attempts combined!
Beard Cheese 368/500
I call in the Disney_Villains = 16 to destroy him. If they don't do much, I won't be surprised, seeing as they never accomplished much..
They cast aside their petty differences and work together for once, and though each would deal negligible damage on their own, combined... they are a formidable force. The Cheese stands no chance.
Beard Cheese: 352/500
I charge forward at the cheese and assail it with a flurry of thrusts and Cuts = 6.
Aliens weren't interested in abducting the phenomenon. In fact, they broke the cosmic speed record, trying to evacuate as far away as possible. The only thing that got damaged was Cheese's pride.
Beard Cheese 333/500
I paint the cheese's beard white, put Santa hat on top and force the cheese to sing carols whole Christmas. Christmas_Cheese = 7