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Gantic
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Gantic
11,891 posts
King

Welcome to Slap the Cheese, a cheese-slapping game where you slap cheese.

HOW TO PLAY
1. Generate a Cheese if the cheese is dead by rolling d4 for hardness
1 = 10 HP = Soft
2 = 50 HP = Medium
3 = 100 HP = Hard
4 = 500 HP = Brick!
2. Update the cheese HP.
Optional: Narrate the above poster's action.
3. Roll d20 for Slap Damage.

EXAMPLE
Gantic: I make Gantic Cheese. 1d4=1

Player 1: Gantic makes a soft Gantic cheese.
Gantic Cheese: 10/10 HP
I slap Gantic Cheese. 1d20=2

Player 2: Player 1 lightly slaps Gantic cheese.
Gantic Cheese: 8/10 HP
I slap Gantic Cheese. 1d20=5

START
I make White Rabbit Cheese. White_Rabbit_Cheese = 4

DICE RESULTS
1 = 1d4
2 = 1d20
5 = 1d20
4 = White_Rabbit_Cheese
  • 2,479 Replies
dragonmaster10902
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dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

Wow, sciller. Harsh. But your attempt to shave the cheese is not overly effective, doing only medium damage.
Beard Cheese 410/500

I throw a Batarang =6 at it!

DICE RESULTS
6 = 1d20
PLGuy
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PLGuy
4,755 posts
King

Although your aiming was perfect, those cheap, blunt fakes dealt a rather scant damage.

Beard Cheese 404/500

After ignoring the "Not Found" window, I try to continue the cheese's barber visit using DeathsScythe = 2

DICE RESULTS
2 = DeathsScythe
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

Wow. Reaper needs to go shopping more often! The scythe splintered on impact!

Beard Cheese 402/500

After sending Death back to the store, I have a swarm of AngryBirds = 10 slingshot themselves at the cheese!

DICE RESULTS
10 = AngryBirds
sciller45
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sciller45
2,873 posts
Chancellor

Surprisingly enough, throwing yourself at your enemy isn't a very good strategy. It still, however, managed to dish out some damage.

Beard Cheese 392/500

Hm. If the scythe didn't work than how about... A RazorBladeHaHaHa = 3! Gone are the days of gillete's seven blades!

Darn it, it got rusty.

DICE RESULTS
3 = RazorBladeHaHaHa
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

Well, your rusty razor dealt almost no damage, but was still (ironically) more effective than the Reaper's blade. It bounces off with little result.

Beard Cheese 389/500

I sic the Daleks on the Cheese! EXTERMINATE = 8!

Wow, boys, work on your aim!

DICE RESULTS
8 = EXTERMINATE
PLGuy
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PLGuy
4,755 posts
King

Daleks scorched some shaggy tufts, but it wasn't their best *british accent* extermination.

Beard Cheese 381/500

Blast it, I reuse that RustyRazorBlade = 5!

DICE RESULTS
5 = RustyRazorBlade
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

You learn slowly, don't you? It does slightly more damage this time, due to a more accurate aim.

Beard Cheese 376/500

I summon my little sister to annoy him to death.

sciller45
offline
sciller45
2,873 posts
Chancellor

Your little sister looks at the cheese. Then it looks at you. Disappointed in you, she implodes. You have an interesting sister.

Beard Cheese 376/500

Hm. Wait a minute. If insanity is trying the same thing over and over expecting a different result and if at first you don't succeed try any try again...
If at first you don't succeed, GoInsaneWithRazorBlade = 8

DICE RESULTS
8 = GoInsaneWithRazorBlade
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

*I did it again! AAGH! But yeah, I can see her doing that...*
Well, your insanity is somewhat paying off. It dealt as much damage as the last two attempts combined!

Beard Cheese 368/500

I call in the Disney_Villains = 16 to destroy him. If they don't do much, I won't be surprised, seeing as they never accomplished much..

DICE RESULTS
16 = Disney_Villains
danwar123
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danwar123
3,075 posts
Jester

They cast aside their petty differences and work together for once, and though each would deal negligible damage on their own, combined... they are a formidable force. The Cheese stands no chance.
Beard Cheese: 352/500

I charge forward at the cheese and assail it with a flurry of thrusts and Cuts = 6.

DICE RESULTS
6 = Cuts
PLGuy
offline
PLGuy
4,755 posts
King

The cheese once again absorbs much of the damage dealt by regular blade.

Beard Cheese: 346/500

Since third time was a charm I put away that poor razor blade and launch at cheese a BeardMower = 12

DICE RESULTS
12 = BeardMower
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

Every time you guys try to shave it, it gets slightly more effective. It almost worked out this time, and the beard lost quite a bit of hair.

Beard Cheese 334/500

I call an Alien_Spaceship = 1 to abduct it.

DICE RESULTS
1 = Alien_Spaceship
PLGuy
offline
PLGuy
4,755 posts
King

Aliens weren't interested in abducting the phenomenon. In fact, they broke the cosmic speed record, trying to evacuate as far away as possible. The only thing that got damaged was Cheese's pride.

Beard Cheese 333/500

I paint the cheese's beard white, put Santa hat on top and force the cheese to sing carols whole Christmas. Christmas_Cheese = 7

DICE RESULTS
7 = Christmas_Cheese
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

Turns out the cheese kind of likes Christmas. The main pain comes from the exhaustion.

Beard Cheese 326/500

I use my Infinity_Gauntlet = 8! SNAP!

DICE RESULTS
8 = Infinity_Gauntlet
PLGuy
offline
PLGuy
4,755 posts
King

That punch left a moderate bruise. You either forgot to turn on that thing, or you’re too right-handed for it.

Beard Cheese 318/500

I double slash it with katanas! NOT! Feint upon feint within feint (AKA random slip), instead I smash it with an ElbowStrike = 19.

DICE RESULTS
19 = ElbowStrike
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