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Gantic
offline
Gantic
11,891 posts
King

Welcome to Slap the Cheese, a cheese-slapping game where you slap cheese.

HOW TO PLAY
1. Generate a Cheese if the cheese is dead by rolling d4 for hardness
1 = 10 HP = Soft
2 = 50 HP = Medium
3 = 100 HP = Hard
4 = 500 HP = Brick!
2. Update the cheese HP.
Optional: Narrate the above poster's action.
3. Roll d20 for Slap Damage.

EXAMPLE
Gantic: I make Gantic Cheese. 1d4=1

Player 1: Gantic makes a soft Gantic cheese.
Gantic Cheese: 10/10 HP
I slap Gantic Cheese. 1d20=2

Player 2: Player 1 lightly slaps Gantic cheese.
Gantic Cheese: 8/10 HP
I slap Gantic Cheese. 1d20=5

START
I make White Rabbit Cheese. White_Rabbit_Cheese = 4

DICE RESULTS
1 = 1d4
2 = 1d20
5 = 1d20
4 = White_Rabbit_Cheese
  • 2,479 Replies
sciller45
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sciller45
2,873 posts
Chancellor

The cheese got ready for a katana slash, so your elbow strike caught it off guard. The cheese gets knocked out and has a few broken cheesy ribs.

Bear Cheese 299/500

Oh, ho ho? Don't like punches? Maybe I'll try something I haven't since GLUE cheese! Lemme at 'im, lemme at 'im! JabJabJab = 18

DICE RESULTS
18 = JabJabJab
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

I think you found the weak point, because that squashed the cheese flat!

Beard Cheese 309/500

I think I'll snatch those katanas and use them. Slice_And_Dice = 17!

DICE RESULTS
17 = Slice_And_Dice
PLGuy
offline
PLGuy
4,755 posts
King

You sliced through the cheese like butter.

Beard Cheese 264/500

I bombard it with a whole New Year's Eve's Fireworks' Unit = 7.

DICE RESULTS
7 = Unit
sciller45
offline
sciller45
2,873 posts
Chancellor

The cheese is amazed by the flashing colors before one rocket finds its way into its beard and blows up, burning a part of its majestic mane away.

Beard Cheese 257/500

I attempt to throw Fireworks = 13 in its cheese holes.

DICE RESULTS
13 = Fireworks
PLGuy
offline
PLGuy
4,755 posts
King

Not every firework was aimed perfectly, but those who weren't drilled some new holes. From now on, but for the pelage, the thing looks like Swiss Cheese.

244/500

I try to enlarge them holes with some fat Firecrackers = 15.

DICE RESULTS
15 = Firecrackers
Ramit12
offline
Ramit12
2,966 posts
Baron

You managed to enlarge the holes, quite a lot. You also managed to blow some of the cheese's parts off.

Beard Cheese: 229/500

Now that I'm back, I astonished the cheese with my #RamitIsBack hashtag.

IAmBack = 1

DICE RESULTS
1 = IAmBack
sciller45
offline
sciller45
2,873 posts
Chancellor

The cheese is completely unimpressed by your presence as it has never seen you before.

Swiss Beard Cheese: 228/500

I perform ZippoTricks = 11 to the cheese. How you like that Cheese? I practiced like an hour yesterday. Jesus Christ, is this what I'm doing in 2019? It's a year before Trump's second term, holy moly!

DICE RESULTS
11 = ZippoTricks
abcdragon66
offline
abcdragon66
701 posts
Jester

Hmm I guess an hour of practice wasn't quite enough. It still did some damage, though.

Swiss Beard Cheese: 217/500

I shove sticks of dynamite into the cheese's recently formed holes.

Dynamite = 1

DICE RESULTS
1 = Dynamite
sciller45
offline
sciller45
2,873 posts
Chancellor

You successfully shove the sticks into its holes, but you forgot to light the fuses. How embarassing.

Swiss Beard Cheese: 216/500

You don't like my tricks, eh? Well how about I LightTheDynamiteFuses = 6 . How you like my zippo now? Let's just hope I have enough lighter fluid.

DICE RESULTS
6 = LightTheDynamiteFuses
PLGuy
offline
PLGuy
4,755 posts
King

The cheese absorbed most of the explosion.

Swiss Beard Cheese: 210/500

I collected all the Confetti = 4 dropped yesterday and swamp Cheese with it.

DICE RESULTS
4 = Confetti
abcdragon66
offline
abcdragon66
701 posts
Jester

It turns out that the cheese loves confetti and was pleased to have it. Swamping the cheese still slightly hurt it, though.

Swiss Beard Cheese: 209/500

I light the confetti on fire.

HahahaBurn = 16

DICE RESULTS
16 = HahahaBurn
sciller45
offline
sciller45
2,873 posts
Chancellor

The confetti is surprisingly flammable. The fire spreads through the cheese and causes quite a bit of damage and melt a huge chunk as well.

Swiss Beard Cheese: 193/500

I scoop up the melted cheese and put it on a sandwich. Mmm. GrilledCheeseSandwich = 7 .

DICE RESULTS
7 = GrilledCheeseSandwich
PLGuy
offline
PLGuy
4,755 posts
King

The vision of your sandwich made the cheese gag so hard that it lost some of its vigour.

Swiss Beard Cheese: 183
(3 less for confetti)

I start a three hit combo. So first, I cut off a JuicySlice = 12 of that hairy... I mean dairy product.

DICE RESULTS
12 = JuicySlice
abcdragon66
offline
abcdragon66
701 posts
Jester

You cut off a decent amount of the cheese. That's gotta hurt.

Hairy Dairy Product (swiss beard cheese): 171/500

(By the way sorry I read the 4 from the confetti as a 1)

I call the barber to shave the cheese. I don't like hair in my dairy products.

GetAHaircut = 13

DICE RESULTS
13 = GetAHaircut
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

The attempts at getting this cheese a shave just get slightly more effective as time goes by. Calling a professional payed off.

Swiss Beard Cheese 158/500

I use my magic wand! Avada_Kadavra = 12!

DICE RESULTS
12 = Avada_Kadavra
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