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Gantic
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Gantic
11,891 posts
King

Welcome to Slap the Cheese, a cheese-slapping game where you slap cheese.

HOW TO PLAY
1. Generate a Cheese if the cheese is dead by rolling d4 for hardness
1 = 10 HP = Soft
2 = 50 HP = Medium
3 = 100 HP = Hard
4 = 500 HP = Brick!
2. Update the cheese HP.
Optional: Narrate the above poster's action.
3. Roll d20 for Slap Damage.

EXAMPLE
Gantic: I make Gantic Cheese. 1d4=1

Player 1: Gantic makes a soft Gantic cheese.
Gantic Cheese: 10/10 HP
I slap Gantic Cheese. 1d20=2

Player 2: Player 1 lightly slaps Gantic cheese.
Gantic Cheese: 8/10 HP
I slap Gantic Cheese. 1d20=5

START
I make White Rabbit Cheese. White_Rabbit_Cheese = 4

DICE RESULTS
1 = 1d4
2 = 1d20
5 = 1d20
4 = White_Rabbit_Cheese
  • 2,479 Replies
dragonmaster10902
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dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

WOW. Just WOW. That's... Impressively bad.

Ninja Cheese: 99/100

Toothless! PlasmaBlast = 8

DICE RESULTS
8 = PlasmaBlast
sciller45
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sciller45
2,873 posts
Chancellor

The ninja avoids the plasma blast at the expense of losing its balance. It bows its head in shame.

Ninja Cheese: 91/100

Ha! No balance! Luckily for me, I'm an orange-green belt in judo and know exactly what to do. Wait, can you lose ranks in judo? I don't remember anything about that. Huh. Anyway... MediocreJudoOuchiGariAAA = 8

DICE RESULTS
8 = MediocreJudoOuchiGariAAA
dragonmaster10902
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dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

Mediocre's about right. The cheese absorbs the damage easily.

Ninja Cheese: 83/100

I throw a Shuriken = 10 at it.

DICE RESULTS
10 = Shuriken
PLGuy
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PLGuy
4,755 posts
King

Your aim was true. The Cheese didn’t expect to taste some of its own medicine.

Ninja Cheese: 73/100

I drop at it a VacuumBomb = 3.

DICE RESULTS
3 = VacuumBomb
sciller45
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sciller45
2,873 posts
Chancellor

The vacuum bomb causes a wind causing its beautiful, majestic black drapes to flutter around. Unless doing that was your plan, I don't think the vacuum bomb worked.

忍者チーズ: 70/100

Hm. Maybe if we make it mad, it'll make a very irrational decision. And if ninjas are Japanese...
I run back to the door, put my shoes on and FightWithMyDirtyOldBoots = 2 INSIDE THE HOUSE! HAHA! Take THAT Japanese etiquette!

DICE RESULTS
2 = FightWithMyDirtyOldBoots
dragonmaster10902
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dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

Smart idea, but it would appear this ninja is actually from Wisconsin. He's just offended by the smell.

Ninja Cheese: 88/100

I show him the future, and he sees his death.
Horror = 10

DICE RESULTS
10 = Horror
Ramit12
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Ramit12
2,966 posts
Baron

You managed to somewhat scare the hell out of the cheese.

Ninja Cheese: 78/100

I KarateKick = 20 the cheese.

DICE RESULTS
20 = KarateKick
dragonmaster10902
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dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

Critical hit! For a ninja, he's not very good at avoiding ninja techniques.

Ninja Cheese: 58/100

I summon a giant spider to spin the cheese into a web and EatIt = 17!

DICE RESULTS
17 = EatIt
Ramit12
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Ramit12
2,966 posts
Baron

That spider ate a large chunk of the cheese! Plus that web was quite poisonous for the cheese.

Ninja Cheese: 41/100

I enter a PokemonBattle = 11 with the cheese.

DICE RESULTS
11 = PokemonBattle
sciller45
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sciller45
2,873 posts
Chancellor

Your manage to tap the cheese's pokemen(?) enough to win the Pokemon gym. The cheese throws vows never to play pokemon GO again and throws its phone away in a temper tantrum. The loss of its phone makes it anxious and sick to the stomach.

Wisconsin Ninja Cheese: 30/100

Considering its holding itself by the stomach now, I PunchAimingTheFalseRibs = 4 . Wait, does cheese even HAVE ribs?

DICE RESULTS
4 = PunchAimingTheFalseRibs
dragonmaster10902
offline
dragonmaster10902
660 posts
Jester

I'm gonna say no. As such, your attack does little damage.

Wisconsin Ninja Cheese: 26/100

I use my BoStaff = 4 to smack it around.

DICE RESULTS
4 = BoStaff
abcdragon66
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abcdragon66
701 posts
Jester

Unfortunately the cheese is also very skilled with a bo staff. It easily defends against yours and then uses it against you. It did accidentally poke it's eye in the process, though.

Wisconsin Ninja Cheese: 22/100

I use my third-degree-brown-belt karate skills on the cheese. Jab! Reverse punch! Spinning hook kick! Front leg side kick!

[roll 1d20 I'mAlmostBlackBelt]

PLGuy
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PLGuy
4,755 posts
King

Ahem... I'm gonna roll for your combo first: ShesAlmostBlackBelt = 11

Wisconsin Ninja Cheese: ?/100

DICE RESULTS
11 = ShesAlmostBlackBelt
PLGuy
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PLGuy
4,755 posts
King

You didn’t land all of the strikes, but it was enough to knock out all of the cheese’s teeth. Milk teeth.

Wisconsin Ninja Cheese: 11/100

Is it ripe for Fatality yet? Let’s see: OmaeWaMouShindeiru = 17! EEEEEEEUUUUUUUUU

DICE RESULTS
17 = OmaeWaMouShindeiru
abcdragon66
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abcdragon66
701 posts
Jester

Finally, after much OmaeWaMouShindeiruing, the cheese is finally DEAD!!!

I make Yveltal cheese.

YveltalCheese = 1

DICE RESULTS
1 = YveltalCheese
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